But Only For Him, And Maybe Not Even For Him In The Future

I'm not sure how long it will be before I can hear that word without flashing on the terrible things that were done to her.   And although I got off on being called one by him, it does nothing for me when someone else uses the word.  Nothing.  It's possible that, given the circumstances of my friend's friend's daughter's assault, the word has permanently lost its charm even from him.  Time will tell.

milkynips:  I am not in the mood to be called **** tonight.
I will be again.
I do love it

him:  sigh

milkynips:  at least from you
wait, I have a story

him:  What did I do?

milkynips:  It’s not you.  
I met a friend tonight while shopping for additional school supplies, and she told me a terrible tale of her pal who lives down south.  The pal has a teen daughter who was home alone when some guys broke into the house, and they assaulted her, raped her, cut her

him:  oh dear

milkynips:  and carved the word **** into her stomach

him:  psychos

milkynips:  I thought I would throw up when she told me this

him:  Ghastly.

milkynips:  It's insane.
give me a day or so and I will back to my normal self

him:  This is what I worry about happening to you if you meet too many men from the net.
But you got really lucky.

milkynips:  No kidding.  it's just been a dreadful day.  I started it by driving my friend to the funeral home to pick up the remains of her son, and I ended it hearing that story.

him:  Okay no ****.

milkynips:  Soon.  Promise me soon.  I do love it when you say it.  There for a time...


He interrupted me then.  And we chatted for a bit about other things.  So I did not conclude my thought.  What I would have said was that there for a time, I'd tried to get my husband to call me **** when we made love.  I'd enjoyed sex chat so much with this other fellow that when he built me up to the brink of a climax, he easily pushed me over by writing "***, ****, now!"  

Yes, I came.  It was magical.  And I naively thought that it could be transferred to my husband, so that he could make me *** just by saying the magic words.  But they are not magic.  They sounded stupid in his mouth, and he was super uncomfortable doing it.  So I bagged it.

And, now, learning of this young woman's traumatic experience, I am wondering if I can remove that association with the word in my mind enough that I can once more enjoy it.

Truth be told, if I had to pick my favourite moniker, it wouldn't be ****.  It'd be "darling," "love," or perhaps "dearest M."  I feel my puss moisten just thinking about being addressed that way.  I don't think the man who uses those terms would like calling me ****.  He is sorta old school, that one.  More than sorta, actually.  A true gentleman.  And I like the way I feel whenever he is communicating with me. 

Positively orgasmic.
milkynips milkynips
46-50, F
2 Responses Sep 6, 2012

This is one of the reason I why won't call a woman ****, especially one I love and care about it. It is not a word I associate with sex or sexuality. I just can't do it. It is also one of the reason I can't look at anyone who feels the need to talk about having a "rape experience" and take them serious. It disgusts me to think of any woman wanting that kind of thing in a sexual context.

We're complicated creatures. I may say "I want to be ravished," but what they did to this girl sure as hell isn't what I mean. When this man and a few others have used the word **** with me, it's been playful, like calling a lover a strumpet or a harlot or a wanton woman. It's all in context and tone. Does that make sense? But you have to be comfortable with the word and have a specific connotation in mind. It's not meant to humiliate or degrade or hurt...it's meant to tease, to mock society's labeling of women and castigation of anyone who is sexual.

You love and care about women in a very sweet way, M. Still, there are many paths to the same place. xo

Well Dearest M., that is very thought provoking. I do like your writing.......darling. xxxxxxx