Is It Possible to Be Addicted to Dating Losers?

I know it sounds crazy but I think I may actually be addicted to dating losers.  I am a nice kind person and I am told I am attractive yet I can't seem to attract the right sort of person.  My last partner was a self absorbed unkind person but I just could not leave him no matter how bad things got, until of cause he broke my heart.  I very recently started dating this new guy and he is not that nice either.  He is jobless (through no fault of own, he was made redundant a year ago and has been job hunting since then), he is also very particular and demanding, for example he sometimes complains that I'm getting too fat even though I'm a size 2, if I got any skinner there would be nothing left of me!  He always keeps telling  to dress up, shave my legs  (everyday!!) and always comments on my make-up- saying he doesn't like certain colours of make-up on me etc  The strange thing is he can be quite insulting and hurtful because he is not diplomatic with the way he says things but I still like him.  And oh he smokes like a chimney, I hate the smoking and the smell is horrid!  He now doesn't smoke in front of me but he does when we are in the car and it drives me crazy.  Anyway when I get home I tell myself, thats it I am not seeing this weirdo again but then he calls and says something nice or we go out on a date and I look at his devilishly handsome face, dimples and cute smile and thats it I can't break-up with him.  Its ridiculous I am an intelligent and good person but when it comes to dating I am just weak.  Anyway I haven't seen him today so I am back to my senses.  We'll  see..  does anyone else know what I'm talking about?

Angells Angells
4 Responses Feb 27, 2009

Yes it is indeed an addiction, much like drug abuse with similar consequences.<br />
<br />
If you are dating someone self-absorbed there is a good chance you yourself are also self-absorbed. If you find you have trouble attracting the man you want, a self-sacrificing self-aware kind of person, then it's possible that they are repelled by your self-interest. <br />
<br />
You can tell yourself 'til you're blue in the face you have a heart of pure gold, but it's just B.S. The proof of your character shines through your actions, what would your co-workers say about you behind your back?

Thanks for the comment progression, you are absolutely right! Anyway guess what guys, I have finally dumped the jerk/loser!! It was easy once I had made the decision, I feel a bit lonely but I'll be okay. I've decided to be alone for a while and take a hard look at my relating patterns and hopefully I will choose a better partner in the future. I have had enough of the jerks its time for a change.

Thanks for the comments, it definately helps to see things from someone else's point of view. I feel stupid for allowing myself to be mistreated. You guys are so right. I must start respecting myself, its about time! I think I have to learn to be patient and trust that I will meet the right guy eventually. You are right the dating jerks has got so old. I think I'd rather be alone than with the jerk now, its just so exhausting dealing with all the drama.

I did the same thing for a long time. I finally got sick of it, looked at myself in the mirror and said...I deserve better, I'm awesome and if someone can't respect me and appreciate that...**** 'em! Jerks are fun to date for a while, everything is crazy and you think they must really like you cuz they are particular and gets super old.