I'm A Married Man, But I'm Bi-curious...

Me and my wife are new to swinging, but my wife isn't really into the bi-guy thing, but I know a lot of women are. Most of them, however, seem to enjoy the dominance part of it, or rather seeing their men submissive. My wife prefers me to be dominant in bed, and I suspect this is the reason she says she prefers not to see or hear anything about me wanting to be with a man. I would appreciate any input on this, including stories and advice, and would especially like to get married women's perspective.


Currently I'm shut out of even bringing the subject up without a fight. I've been given permission to pursue this, however, her 'I just don't wanna know about it' attitude sorta forces me to do this 'behind her back.' Being completely heterosexual so far, this makes me feel like a 'secret queer', like some sorta hypocritical politician or something. 

Should I go for it, knowing she wants me to be happy (she's very loving)? We're very close and open; I'm not enjoying the idea of having to watch what I say around her all of the sudden...

DigitalBoy21 DigitalBoy21
26-30, M
2 Responses Jul 12, 2010

Somehow I know how you feel. I hope you arrive to the right decision.

If you do it and she knows, she will never see you in the same light again. To her you will always seem like a different person. I went through this with an ex and I know that once she knew I had experimented for real her attitude completly changed towards me. We finally divorced because she didn't want to even cuddle with me anymore and she acted like I was a sissy or something. Even though she had always had her girlfriends and they would have sex at our home and in our bed. She said it was different for men and she found it disgusting.