Bi-confusedWithout giving you a whole life back story on why I'm starting to question my sexuality, I'll just take out a few pointers/tips and see where it leads us...
- I've always been slightly tom boy but not into sports or 'boy things' (except trains and airplanes but those are for everyone!). I didn't start dressing in dresses and girlish clothing until after college. (Now I do both, though I'm wearing skirts more often!)
- I have always wanted to participate in a *********, but I've never suggested it because of my stipulations: I want it to be with a straight male and a lesbian. I want to experience sexual pleasure with a woman while experiencing sexual pleasure with a man-- I don't want the attention on the man or for the other woman to be bisexual. I just want sex with both sexes. :p
- Recently (the past 1-2 years) I have not been having sexual fantasies about women, as I had in the past. Instead, I'm having fantasies about living with and loving another woman, being in a healthy, well rounded and satisfactory long-term relationship with a woman I love. I don't love anyone right now (male or female) so it's not specific to anyone in particular, I just desire a relationship with a woman as much as I desire a relationship with a man. (I also desire to be alone forever/in a relationship with myself, though. :p)
- That said, I've never looked at a woman the way I've looked at a man-- I've never seen a specific girl out in public and thought "I want to ****/date her." I don't know if this is because I've been unaware of it or if it's because it's just a fantasy thread and not something I should take stock in reality. (That is, I think there's a difference between 'fantasizing about women' and 'fantasizing about a woman,' because there is certainly a difference when it's men...)
I know I'm bi-curious but it's the development of wanting to have an emotional relationship with a woman (alongside a sexual one), or perhaps being open to having a polygamous relationship with a man and a woman, that is making me wonder... I'd love some outside input/ideas, and suggestions on where to move next in my exploration. Thanks!