A Confused Girl In a Conservative Family

I am going through the same thing. Never dated Guy or Girl. But I'm definitely attracted to both. Recently ran into a girl I practically fell in love with. I'm still shy and not out. I refuse to label myself. If i love a woman then I love a woman, if it's man, then I love a man. Try not to be too harsh on yourself. I come from a traditional Asian background too and I know it will be hard if you do come out but in the end. They are your family. They raised you and they love you. Maybe at first they may need to adjust and maybe they won't but you never know. C'est la vie. I think the best advice I can give is to follow your heart and be true to yourself. Don't deny feelings because of what you're "supposed to feel"- as stated by society. Just embrace your feelings for whomever and try it! Live your life to the fullest.

I can honestly say I have felt just like you. For me, the biggest thing was actually becoming involved with a girl to let myself KNOW for sure what I was, a lesbian. Interestingly, I am dating an adopted Indian woman who I knew in high school. I looked over a written diary entry from four years ago (we have been together a year) and I admitted to feeling "Perhaps more pressing is my increasing certainty about highly personal aspects of my life, while others are unraving in insecurity and anxiety. I have become a bit introverted and introspective. I can't talk about these things out to anyone I know right now. Openmindedness appears to be quite limited, to be truthful. I happened to have an experience of absolute clarity when S was over Friday night." I was 19 when I wrote that (I am 23 now). In any case, up until the summer prior to dating S (11/25/09 was our first date!) I still could say I had "feelings" for a guy at work. But they were more feelings of being hit on and given attention to---not the feelings i felt toward women, and now specifically toward S. For me, this has been a journey since 4th grade when I knew I liked watching Topanga on boy meets world a lot. Just try to keep yourself open to yourself and find a person to talk to, perhaps a counselor. I saw a male counselor for almost 2 years and it has been a great decision and has helped me on my journey. Best of luck!

Well you are a very open minded girl,that's a positive sign and a good approach towards life.

As per indian culture,we are ashamed to tak about sex,as a matter of fact it is there from centuries.

Gayism,les,even animal sex used to exist in india.

The important thing is you have to decide what satisfies you more,how you feel comfortable.

Today lot of women in india have bi relations even within their families.

The only thing is you must get a good partner .

to know your self you hvae to know what you are .look on wikipedia under pansexual .it help me a lot good luck

Oh honey, this is so hard. I know. Please don't try to label yourself? I know it's hard to not be able to talk about crushes. It's society's fault, not yours. If you like a girl and she likes you back try a relationship. See if it works. None of this sounds very helpful.

Agree with the first comment, you are brave to explore these thoughts openly. You are at an age where you are questioning alot of things so don't freak out! You don't have to set anything in stone, just continue to seek out what it is that leaves you feeling empty. I've been on both sides of the issue myself, and honestly I just genuinely wanted to be loved and to love, which is what most if not all people want. Don't do anything drastic, but give it time and work through some of what you're feeling. Something I found useful was to keep a journal, just be careful that no one reads it. This way you can see on paper/computer/ whatever you choose what you're really thinking and what's going on in your mind. I've posted some stories that you might find helpful. Check them out if you get a chance. Hope what I said made sense.

Well because you have not really had a chance to have a BF, you have not had a chance to imprint on them. If you did, you would probably be less inclined to wonder.



Lets put it this way, many people have encounters with members of the opposite sex with the intention that it is all just for fun. But what often happens is one or both kinda get wrapped up with the other. What happened is that person/s imprinted upon the other and they kinda fall for each other. It is difficult to explain. But every woman knows the feel and smell of their lover. That is imprinting. You don't have to have sex to imprint. So your sheltered life may have been the thing that got you confused.



Believe me, I myself could not care what you end up declaring yourself. So long as your happy.



Did any of that make any sense? I am sorry if it sound all confusing. Just ask and I will try harder to make it sound better.

First of all you are very brave looking at the way you feel as this is the first step in recognising who you really are. You have acouple of options the first one is perhaps there is a counsellor on campus who could help you explore these things?
Because either these thoughts will go away eventually or if they are something you need to really confront in this lifetime sooner or later you might need another opinion one that you can trust for to keep private.