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Yup, I'm Cursed.

First off, I want to state that even though I am writing this story. I do not believe in superstitions or hexes caused by things such as Karma, Breaking Mirrors, etc.

However, it is a interesting thing to prospect... because... my "curse" happens often.

Dice
I roll extremely poorly with dice. I play a lot of role-playing games (pen and paper and table top), and I constantly have to roll dice. I've been known to roll extremely low, even when the odds are in my favor. One time, using 8d10 (8 ten sided dice), I rolled all 1s (1 being a very bad number). I can also touch people's dice, or wave my hands over dice to make them roll bad. And nine times out of ten, the dice will roll poorly when I do so. I'm not saying this happens all the time. But I roll extremely poor more than average, and trust me, I design role-playing games; I know statistics. And my dice decided to roll far below average.

Cell Phones
I usually have a phone no longer than 6 months, because they break. The worst incident that has happened with phones, is that I tripped in a pot hole, dropped my phone (busting it literally into pieces), and spilling my entire drink all over those pieces. It was like a phone fatality!

I bought an "indestructible" construction grade phone.
I broke it within four months.
So much for "Indestructible"

My Manhood
My manhood is small, I lost a testicle, I've had surgery on it twice, I get kidney stones often. I suffered a UTI once after a surgery. I'll spare you the details.

Scratch Offs (Gambling in General)
I have never gambled and won. EVER. I have played scratch offs, lottery, slot machines, blackjack (I broke even), or raffles. I NEVER WIN ANYTHING.

Oh wait, that's not true.
There was that one time...

I was sitting in the car after getting my food from the Skyline Drive-thru. I got a scratch off card from Skyline. Cincinnati style chili being my favorite food in the whole world. I could win, chili for life. I said to god... "God, I never win... anything... can I just win... a hat or something?"

God answered my prayers.

I won a free York peppermint patty! I was so excited, I ran back inside, placed that sucker flat on the table and redeemed my prize. I told the guy, "I finally won something!", and he replied "Oh, a Peppermint Patty? Well, everyone gets those if they don't win".

I seriously, held back a tear.

Women
I really don't like to count this one, but I'll mention it anyways: Every woman I ever dated cheated on me. I was even engaged at one point. And well... what do you know... she cheated on me. I have a whole other story touching on this particular subject, so I am not going to go into detail in this story.

Conclusion
I may end up adding more to this story. So, stay tuned for an update.

catboydale catboydale 22-25, M 4 Responses Sep 19, 2012

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As for typical gambling I tend to always win people accuse me of cheating it that I know... Well I kinda know some tricks but they're not obvious.. Card counting for one. But this damn scratch-offs! I hate them with a passion, same thing with dice.

Unfortunately my ability to get girlfriends and boyfriends is exceptionally high but they have this tendency to cheat, go insane, threaten me, hit me, etc. go tough love! ...I just wanna cuddle and hug someone.

People at my school say I'm the Jesus of technology. When I touch it, it works, my things never break. And I'm extremely clumsy. I dropped my iPod down a flight of concrete stairs, I almost screamed but it didnt have a scratch!

I am a firm believer in karma though.. Anyway there are ways to rig the natural flow of things just find the loop holes hun. I had to.

I have had strange luck with electronics... my husby and his dad (who is a elect engineer) sometimes threaten to run tests on me...I have a knack for wonking out anything with a rechargeable battery, I say it's just animal magnetism<---hehehe they say I am the result of the tesla coil.... i have also had a kidney stone (well multiple stones but, it was just one time)

Wait... if this is true... then... Kidney Stones... Cause... electronics to fail?!!!! Woah...

we can only assume correlation not causality

I have had two UTI's. I consider it a justifiable punishment from God considering what I was sleeping with at the time.lol...I have won on slot machines...and I won a contest when I was 7 to be a Dodger bat girl..so I met the dodgers in 1978..pretty cool...I don't care about winning things as much as I do winning people so to speak. Winning love. And trust. the material things are a bonus.

Oh my dear sweet son...why are you so doomed?(so far)...the peppermint patty thing was funny and cute..you didn't seriously almost cry over it..did you? :(
Just because you never won anything doesn't mean you're a bad person...who knows why some people have bad luck and some good..being motivated helps but even that can come to nothing...a lot of people who don't "deserve"(being not very nice people) a lot many times get it...and the goodhearted people suffer and struggle...
Excuse my language but..**** those ******* that cheated on you! You have such a good heart and wonderful personality(and you're pretty damn cute) and they blew it. I have never been cheated on except through a computer(my fiancee was sitting there talking to another girl in front of me and I didnt know it) but i can relate to a bad track record with men...I could make a list of the losers I have bedded and dated..and all the time all I have ever wanted is to get married to my forever love...part of it was my fault..I dated guys that I should have not wasted my time on...oh, theres rants in my diaries..I wonder if it worth it to write it on here...its quite amusing except I wasted my time and sullied my body...
Isn't it a damn shame that the universe seems to have a sick sense of humor sometimes?