I Think I Might Be In Love With My Best Friend.

In Kindergarten i met three boys who grew up to be the most awesome-est best friends a girl could ever have. Those three boys are pretty much my best friends, my brothers and my soulmates. We all just recently graduated high school together not too long ago. But one guy out of the group always acted differently towards me. He seemed to be the most caring, he showed his emotions to me more than the other two, he would always see what's wrong even if i lied straight to his face, he's always hugging me or wrapping his arm around me and play fighting with me, and it was only recently that i started feeling differently about him. It was really random and out of nowhere. But i know that he's liked me before, his gaze at me would be longer and he would always have to be next to me, whenever i was around i could see a change in his expression. It was only recently that i started to love him in a different way and i have no idea what to do. He's had a fair amount of girlfriends but they've never really worked out, and he would act differently towards me than to his girlfriends, in a way where he showed that i was always the first girl he loved and that these other girls didn't have the same connection we did.

There have been feelings inside me that i can't explain and there are moments when i just don't want him to leave. The other night they were all at my house and we were all lying down on the floor and i was lying down next to him and i didn't want to move no matter how much he complained there wasn't enough room or that he was uncomfortable, i didn't want to move because he was so warm and all i wanted to do was feel our breathing. He turned and put his arm around me and that's when all of these emotions came over me.The problem is that i'm going away for college and he's staying in our hometown for college. I don't know whether or not i should tell him before i leave or just not say anything at all. 14 years we've been friends and there is no way i want to jeopardize this bond just because i feel one way and maybe he doesn't. I really don't know what i should do.
cora12 cora12
18-21, F
May 24, 2012