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At a Party

I was at my best friend, Amelia's, 14th birthday party. Everything was going great, and we decided to play spin the bottle truth or dare. We made sure that it was good clean fun, nothing that could get anyone in trouble. So, once it came time for Amelia to spin her second time, (she went first of course because it was her party) she picked me. I said I wanted a dare. So she asked me to kiss Kyle (the boy) in any way. So i went safe, I just decided to kiss him simply on the cheek. It was weird though, because before I went to kiss him, I felt scared as heck. And back then, I didn't know why. So the next weekend, Amelia and I were down at the park on the swings. And she asked me about kissing him. I told her how scared I was, and how 'after I kissed him, I suddenly felt like I wanted to do it again.' She said it was nothing and that I shouldn't worry, but I did. After talking to her, I only felt nervous whenever he and I were alone somewhere together, and I had none of my gal pals with me. And I spent more and more time talking to him and telling him things that I care about. Now, it's different though. It worries me how often I think about him, and that I love it. I find myself talking to him way more often, and I tell my girl friends everything funny that he says.

I think I'm seriously starting to fall in love with him and I don't know what to do. He doesn't have a girlfriend, but everytrime I see him with other girls that I know he's good friends with, I want to do anything to avoid them. I don't mind seeing him with my great friends, but when I see him with other girls that I know he gets along great with as well as me, I feel like I wanna get away from them as fast as possible. I tell him things I would never tell another living soul, and he always promises to keep them. When he even gives me small friendly hugs, I want to squeeze (not just hug) him back. I feel bad because I'm very shy about how I feel about him, and the only person who as knoledge of my possible loving him is Amelia. I'd just hate for him to think I don't feel 'this' way about him, and then he become another girl's boyfriend. I was even to shy to tell him when I just had a crush on him, I have no clue what to say about being in love with him! He's just too sweet, caring, cheerful, accepting, beautiful and amazing to talk to about how I feel about him now.  And that just frusturates me... 

MusicalLover MusicalLover 16-17, F Sep 13, 2009

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