Everyone Says It's What's Inside That Matters, But No One Seems To Believe It

I really hate the way I look, and it affects the way I feel about myself, partly because I honestly feel like people treat beautiful people (like my sister) better than they ugly people (me).Also, I am a dancer, and it really makes me feel awful when all the dancers I see have not only a perfect body but a pretty nice face too, and I have an okay body with a disgusting face. I also have a fairly good-looking family, although luckily they aren't big-headed about it.

The worst thing about the way I look is my skin. I'm in my late teens and have been dealing with severe acne for half of my life. I've lost count of how many products I've tried over the years, but it's been a lot. I'm tired of people saying "acne is easy to deal with, all you need to do is keep your face clean" or "maybe you should try proactive". If it were that easy I'd have fixed it already, but I get pimples no matter what I do. Mostly the big red kind that are very obvious, last for a week or longer, and then leave ugly scars. The scars are actually worse than the pimples, because the pimples will occasionally get better for a short time, but the scars don't go away, I just get new ones.

I'm tired of being ugly and havn't given up hope that someday I'll find an acne product that really works, but more than that, I'm tired of the way I look controling my life. I feel bad about myself, but I can't talk about it to other people, because they always think I'm just fishing for a compliment or that I'm being negative because "what you look like isn't important."  I feel awkward when I'm around girls who get upset over a couple pimples or having to wear braces because if they think those things look bad, they obviously must think I'm hideous. I don't have the confidence to even talk to a boy much date one. Sometimes I even start to wonder how my little sister could possibly look up to me or  how my parents can stand to be seen with me in public.

iloveicecream iloveicecream
18-21, F
Jul 14, 2010