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I Don't Think I Am Ugly, I Am Ugly

I'm an ugly guy. I'm 34 and I've only had five girlfriends my entire life. I usually go about 2 or 3 years between the time my last relationship ends and I can find a woman desperate enough to give me the time of day. I once went 7 years without sex, without any human intimate contact (no hugging, holding hands or kissing a woman) and it completely destroyed my self confidence. I have never recovered from the crushing loneliness I felt during those seven years without anyone.

I'm ugly because I have pitted scars all over my face, even one right on the end of my nose. It looks disgusting, and women treat me like I'm a leper. I've tried expensive laser resurfacing, extremely painful chemical peels, and all kinds of creams and ointments. Nothing helps. I even have ugly gap-teeth, which I had braces for TWICE, but my teeth just go back to their ugly gap-toothed places as soon as the braces come off. I'm short (5/8) and women ignore men who are shorter than 5/11.

What really, really hurts me very deeply is that I'm a beautiful person on the inside. After spending so much of my adult life alone, I've learned to cook and clean, I know how to fix cars and plumbing and small appliances, and I even worked on being a good communicator, thinking that having a good personality would "make up" for my ugly face and short stature. It doesn't.

Years ago, I thought that doing volunteer work would help me feel less alone, so I joined a volunteer group that helps children who are living in foster care facilities in Los Angeles. For a while, that helped me feel better about myself, but every time I met a woman who was volunteering with me, she treated me just like every other woman. It didn't matter that I was volunteering my free time to help other people, that I was intriguing and funny - she just saw my ugly face and ignored me. Eventually, doing all that volunteer work but still feeling impossibly lonely the rest of the time got to me and I gave up being helpful to strangers completely.

Now I just sit alone in my apartment. Sometimes I even go hungry for days because I'm too ashamed of how I look to go to the grocery store. I can't even go to a fast food restaurant because I know that people will stare at me.

I am ugly, and there is nothing I can do about it. Women won't even talk to me in public. I am so impossibly lonely.
DorkKnight DorkKnight 31-35 5 Responses Feb 8, 2011

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How are you doing?

I'm a ******* gorgeous lady but am 5'11 inches of nasty it is what it is. I could get any man in pictures or sitting . People are shallow. Get over it & find yourself!

awww... u sound like a great guy :)

i was an ugly Child . as an Adult i am Stil ugly . But i Have Stunning Wife 8years younger than me davidmaher48@gmail.com Respected Gent .Age62years young

You are not ugly, but the way you view yourself is. What makes you ugly? Do you perform horrid acts to human kind? Do you steal from the less fortunate, Do you hurt people or use them to your advantage? If you are unhappy with your physical appearance, then you can go to a plastic surgeon and seek options. Keep this in mind, there are very physically attractive people who are totally shallow, insecure, heartless and screwed in their heads. Be brave and go speak to someone who can help you with your scars. Start with the scars on your heart and happy thoughts.