I Cant Take It Anymore

when i was little i guess i was cute, but now im 13 and i hate myself with all my heart, i hate looking into a mirror and i hate being who i am when i wake up in the morning.  i hate looking in the mirror because all i see is this hideous person and not to forget my big nose. is it normal to feel so ugly when so young, nothing will help me no makeup nothing. im born this way, im f___cking ugly i disgust myself . all my friends are so pretty and i hate it i ate being the odd one in the pic that ruins the pic i hate not having a nice smile, i hate having a big nose and yellow teeth and small lips and small eyes and big forehead, there isnt one thing i like about myself , people say everybody is beautiful in their own way but it doesnt work for me im not beautiful. point blank. i wish i was , i wish, i pray every night i wake up with a beautiful new face and a new life nothing seems to go right in my life i dead *** never had a luck/ good thing  happen , nd sometimes thers no point of living i mean wht do i do to the world besides makign people laugh because im ugly. like i dont understand why i am ugly i mean my parents arent ugly and i wish there were girls that are like "oh shes hot" or im beautiful but no i never had a real boyfriend one i cared about soo much . nd ill never get one. i cant take it anymore i will harm myself, i mean i did it before i dotn give a f__ck the only reason im still on this earth because my mom is the reason i wake up each mornign im battling these insecurities for her, because if anything happened to me i wouldnt want my mom to have more to be sad about, i hate my life and i can truly say this and mean it i hate my life i hate evrything about me i hate evrything about my life. it feels so good getting this out there , nobody understands me, i cant share this to any of friends they will never understand me , all the pain ive been through is all inside me and its coming out i feel it , i have so much anger in me that im gonna burst and the time is coming, so much pain for someone so young, if any of my friends read i want you guys to know that no matter wht u say i wont believe you because listen to me , i know, Lord i know im ugly. nd you cant tell me im pretty and bullshit me because it goes from one ear nd out the other my brain is not functioning right and im gonna hurt myself im trying to stay strong i cant anymore nobody makes me happy (except  my mom) i dont care bout anything and i dont give a f__uck bout u. so suck it all my haters nd everybody that called me names nd made me feel like im **** all my old friends i hate you and i hate pretty much everyone of you, so bye now, and if u r pretty , well lucky you
sadgirl62 sadgirl62
1 Response Aug 13, 2011

Your only 13. Don't ever tell yourself your ugly. automaticlly as a human being you are overly judgmental on yourself. I know its' hard being that age and trust me when i say that as i was the ''ginger kid''. But you honestly have great years to come. LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT. You said yourself you have friends. Keep them, embrace them and life in its self. My life only got better when i was 15, 16, 17. Me and my friends made it a party, i don't mean go out and do something stupid. But if you and your friends go out you will meet new people and through them people you will meet more people. don't dwell on how you look. Do what you can to be comfortable with your looks (hair, make up ect) But seriously don't dwell on them. Lifes about personality when all is said and done. :)