My Truth?

My truth? ... I guess I'm just afraid, because I feel like I don't have anything to offer to someone, and I just wouldn't be able to accept the disappointment. I really don't, I mean I'm not smart, or talented, or one of those people who have these great personalities, and I'm ugly, average at best. I am. That's my truth... and I just wish it were a little bit different, that I had just one thing to offer, you know anything, but I don't, I'm just like a dude with a vagina and a pair of saggy bad breasts. I have nothing, and I wanna get used to the idea that I'm gonna be alone forever, that, that's just the way it is for someone like me, but everyday it hurts and I just don't know how do deal with it any more. I'm so ******* lost. I've been alone all this time, and I cannot help to think that it's never going to change... how can one get used to this? Why I cannot accomplish not to care? Why does it have to hurt so much? I am past wishing, that never got me anywhere, so today I just want to be devoid of emotion, to feel nothing, to rip that part of myself and try to live without caring about love, beauty, ugliness. I want it to be over. I just need to find a way...