When you see a crowd of people, you seem to spot only the attractive ones.. And i think that lots of people who think they are ugly feel that way because they are never these eye catching people. The ones that guys/girls will talk to just based on appearance. The sad thing is that they turn to the idea that they are ugly. I think i'm guilty of this. But the thing is, is that I'm okay. Sometimes, i'll look at myself and feel diguisted, sometimes, (under certain lighting) i'll look at myself and find myself really pretty. And it really makes me happier, as bad as it is. But its not really anyone's fault because society has based so much on the appearance of an individual. And so, everyone become insecure, and to feel better, bash on other people, making them feel ugly and degraded.
I can still never bring myself to say "i am pretty".. never. I think its because if i ever do, i means i've believed it, and that makes me easier to break when someone makes me feel ugly. and i'm not pretty, not to everyone, which makes my self confidence even more vulnerable. I'm not the typical ideal of beautiful in America. I don't have blonde perfect hair, blue eyes, and i'm not incredibly skinny. i have messy dark hair and wear purple contacts.
I've never had a boyfriend, is that weird for my age?