I Think I Am Ugly

I Can't Even Try to Look Like "That Girl".

By: SheLoves

Written on April 9th, 2008

I can't match this ideal.

Attractive, outgoing girl next door.

Straight hair.

Full breasts.

Tall.

I can't match this.

Not even if I tried.

I feel too short.

My breasts aren't big enough.

I feel like my curly hair makes me look childish.

My glasses makes me feel like a nerd.

I feel like my background (half filipino/ethiopian) is too strange and odd. That's no one's ideal.

I feel too shy.

I am too self-deprecating. I shouldn't be.

But when these images of what I "should" be is being shoved down my throat and telling me who I am is not good enough...

I am swimming in a relentless sea

Of white men and their standards.

It's not like no guy has ever liked me... guys of all races have.

But for some reason, I still feel like they all assume that I am not attractive.

Of course it's a generalization... and not all guys have the same standards. I know that.

But when guys do think of the ideal girl for them...

I know they're not thinking of a girl that looks anything like me.

My closest friends tell me that I am beautiful, unique, smart, hilarious, silly, and honest. And usually (except for the beautiful part) I believe them too. But I need to start believing it myself.

Until I find my own way to the shore.

I'll keep on swimming.

By: SheLoves

Age: 18-21 , Female

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5 responses

zzltfrg

Another of those people on this site whom others say are attractive, interact with the opposite sex and yet, perversely, thinks she is unattractive. Try living permanently in a void where you are so unattractive that nobody wants to have anything to do with you at all, because of your looks & you would have something to complain about!

Oct 13, 2008
1 like
SheLoves

Yeah, I know that people can see beauty in things that are not the ideal... my boyfriend does.

I am getting better at appreciating my background and being unique.

I just need to not place importance in what the standards are, because it isn't everyone's "standard".

But thanks, I know what you mean.

Apr 13, 2008
1 like
trixi

gander,

i was with you until the sanitary pad part. what ARE you talking about?

and sheloves,

you look beautiful in that pic. some people see beauty in things that are NOT the ideal. and i think gander was only trying to make you feel better, not put you down or anything. i think what he meant was that there are more important things than superficial, outward appearances. although i can only assume this is what he meant. i have the same problem as you, btw. i definately don't feel that i meet the ideal set for women. and i berate myself for it every day of my life. i hate it.

Apr 13, 2008
1 like
SheLoves

Hi,

Did I say I wanted any attention?

Did I say that I wanted every guy to check me out? NO!

By the way, I am receiving a pretty good college education. I am a chemistry major and doing fine so far.

And a good marriage? When did I EVER say anything about not getting married? The assumptions you're making are ridiculous.

I was just commenting on not meeting up to standards American society has placed on women, NOT individuals and btw, that comment was pretty superficial, and you don't know me. So **** OFF.

Apr 10, 2008
1 like
gander

ir the picture is really you then you are fine and it's your age to be insecure want to be the center of a ROOM? place two marbels in your bra nipple area and enjoy the attention of others for the day.People r shallow and fickle. Learn to accept the praise you recive for the qualities you have . nextime u want to be PoPuLaR for a few hours place a sanitary pad cross way of your panties and SHOW TOE(camel) then you will realize all that attention is bS snd won't buy a collage edducation or a good marriage.

Apr 10, 2008
1 like

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