I Have Always Felt So Ugly...

I was a cute little kid, but in my opinion that all faded once I hit my teen years. Even my own mother called me ugly-so much for the old saying, "a face only a mother could love"! I was picked on all through school. Never dated until I was 19, and he was (no surprise) an ugly guy! Any guy I liked shot me down like a duck! The man I married, I cared for but wasn't attracted to because I was convinced I could never have anyone I was attracted to. The things I hate about my looks are, well simply put...everything, but broken down into detail; the ugly natural color of my hair which takes a crapload of bleach to get the reddishness out of it when I am getting it dyed blonde, my eyes are too small, my nose is way too pointy and I have had people make fun of it in recent years, my mouth is too small for my face and my lips are too thin, my teeth are nowhere near white enough, I don't like the shape of my face it is too chubby and my jaw is too square-I sort of think I have a masculine face. Not thrilled with my body either, boobs too small, too short-waisted, too much of a pooch belly, and to top it all off I wish I was taller!! Well I divorced my first husband and I am now with a man who is drop dead gorgeous-which I thought I would never get! He doesn't see me as the troll I see myself as though, he sees me as beautiful, always makes me wonder if his eyes work right! But the problem is, because he is so handsome I am always a afraid that he will find someone better than me and become paranoid he is cheating on me.
crystalc1973 crystalc1973
36-40, F
May 21, 2012