Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

Okay, so I feel there isn't one person who can completely be labeled as ugly. There are girls who, I feel cannot attract men, but they still manage to. It's odd, really. People are shallow, but at the same time, a lot of make-up and a bunch of pretty friends hovering around you, can make even an ugly girl "pretty". It isn't just the way you look that affects people's perception of your appearance, there are many other factors. If you compare 2 girls who are equally unattractive, with one being rich and another poor, people would label the poor one as "ugly", and call the rich one "okay".
Anyway, about me, i honestly cant complain much, I recieve a lot of compliments, people randomly tell me they think I'm while talking to me, my boyfriend wont stop talking about it, but in my case, its more to do with self esteem. There are days when I'm content, but i am also too conscious, I check if boys are noticing me when I'm out, even count how many did sometimes, look into the mirror a lot, click millions of pictures to check how I'm looking at any given point. It's almost like a weird combination of being vain and having a low self esteem. I hate my nose, i feel its too big, and gets to wide when i smile, i feel my mouth is too small, so are my eyes. I need to obsessively wash and blow dry my hair to make sure its pretty, thick and straight and not fizzy and huge, like it actually is. I need to get my eyebrows done every week. The only thing i used to allow myself freedom was food as i was always thin. But now, ive got some weight to lose so ive started to consume only 1000 calories per day. This, however is for my own satisfaction, and not for anyone else. I feel we are trapped in bodies we didnt choose to be in, so to judge someone on that would be wrong. Still, i am almost too conscious and can't seem to change that.
Whycantibepretty Whycantibepretty
18-21, F
May 24, 2012