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On Being "ugly"

You know what gets me are the people who say crap like "Oh, you'll find someone someday." Its always people who have never had this problem. You know, I'm not stupid, I realise I'm not a Brad Pitt, or Tyrese or some other quote unquote hot studly guy. But I'm not even desiring the types of women they could get. It would be one thing if I was upset that "beautiful" women weren't giving me the time of day, but MY STANDARDS AREN'T HIGH! They truthfully aren't. I seriously don't mean this to sound shallow, but I've seen women who I wasn't even attracted to in the least act stuck up and treat me with disdain. I know that's their own insecurity itself rising up so I'm not mad at them. I mean I'm 35, and have really only had two real girlfriends, and when I look in the mirror I don't think I'm ugly, I realise I'm not a hottie, but I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S *** WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS, I KNOW I'M NOT UGLY! Yet ultimately its not what I think, but what the other person I'm hoping is interested in me thinks. And you know, I'm really a great guy, very outgoing, smart, funny, respectful, I don't lie or cheat, but apparently I'm too unattractive for that to matter. So I maintain a profile on these online dating sites clinging to the fairy tale-esque hope that there will be a girl someday who falls in love with the real me and can look past this hideous person that apparently everyone else but me sees. But we're not in a movie there are no fairy god mothers or genies to grant wishes. Because I'm calling BS on all those who would say, there are people who look past that. That is a out and out LIE! No one not even those who've posted here before on this topic have the ability to ignore the lack of physical attraction to another no matter how nice, thoughtful, sweet, caring, etc. THOSE THINGS WILL NEVER TRUMP PHYSICAL ATTRACTION...EVER!
cajunkonection cajunkonection 31-35 4 Responses Jul 4, 2012

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Every thing you said is so true. I'm in the same boat.

How would you feel, if a women(not desirable or pretty) that you never met before or even had any interested in. Bring out in the conversation with her "My boyfriend and me done this" A way to let me know she had a boyfriend, so I would no ask her out. (which i wasn't even thinking about it.

Yeah thanks. Its just people in general can be such a******s. Its like that line from some movie I watched..."a person is smart, but people are stupid" The same can be said about generousity or graciousness, kindness, etc. in my opinion. <br />
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I have had people tell me to my face that I was ugly, a girl told me I'd "...be the perfect guy if I looked better", and another said "I love you, I'm just not attracted to you", but I really don't see how they say things like that because truthfully I don't think I'm ugly.

I love you but I'm not attracted to you? That may not fall into the literal definition of an oxymoron but there is an oxymoron in there. I've felt love. If you really love someone you can't help but look at their face with stars in your eyes. And it has nothing to do with hot. Its a magnetism that goes way deeper. I'm sorry people talk to you like that. People like that are way I am a recluse. There are just too many jerks in the world.

I always think it's comical when people say "I'm a sucker for nice bodies" because really, everybody is: but everybody has a different idea of what makes a body "nice".<br />
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My biggest physical turn-ons on a guy are acne scars, belly fat, and big noses. I have gotten laughed at for finding these attractive and I just laugh too because I think it's weird that other girls are only attracted to abs and bright blue eyes.<br />
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Also, I'm currently crushing on a guy from a tv show: he weighs over 300 pounds (0% muscle, mind you), is bald, has mutton chops, and wears track suits and bling. Also, all he does is yell. And to me he is hot as **** because his personality makes him physically perfect. It's not about looking past looks. It's about loving the person's looks because of how attractive their personality is to you.<br />
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That being said, I am so sorry you've had such a hard time. It's awesome that you're holding your own and not going and blaming yourself, realizing that you don't think you're hideous and people are just incredibly shallow.

would u be my friend? I am average with a big long nose and no one to love me ,,, hmmm

Of course!!!!! :D Big noses are absolutely gorgeous.