Maybe It'S Internal Dialogue Or Maybe It'S Just MeEarly school was hell everyone seemed to enjoy saying horrible things. Those horrible things shattered my confidence and eroded any sort of self esteem. By 8th grade I stopped talking I mean no one cared what I had to say anyways. I figured there must be something inherently wrong with me. Which is when I develop an eating disorder. I think it was more about control because I was never overweight.
No one ever paid attention to me in middle school, I felt invisible. I finally made some friends in 9th grade who were all 2 years older. In 10th grade I dated my then best friend for 2 weeks he was only using me to hide the fact he was gay. Then a few months later a stoner man *****, who then broke up with me... then we got back together... who then broke up with me again. A year later I fell hardcore for a well he was sorta a redneck who then dumped me without warning 4 months in.
Maybe my self esteem is just shot. Or maybe there is genuinely something wrong with me. Maybe the flaws I pick over are more horrible than I could ever imagine.