I Told Ya!

People see me as pretty, but I'm not. I actually went on a date last night and he sees me as a friend. Tell me how people can tell you your whole life how pretty you are and yet you are alone? Truth is, he couldn't get past my weight. Let's get real for a second, he wasn't attracted to me at all and I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of being alone and being told one thing but facing this world alone. I pray to not wake up the next morning, but I always do. I've just reached my breaking point today with this guy and it's just the icing on the cake. How do I heal? The worst thing is I found out from a survey on myspace that he thought me only a friend. Um, are we 12? I'm better off keeping to myself and trusting no one.

aquinah aquinah
31-35, F
8 Responses Nov 8, 2008

You're very sweet Olayemi. I appreciate all your comments. I think something much deeper is going on with me as regards to weight and why I am the way I am. I've had time to reflect on myself in the last few months. I think I'm going to have to talk to someone about it. Thank you, again!

Thanks Andy.

every body is beautifull in there own way, besides you have wonderfull legs so you can't be all bad. smile you're beautiful. ANDY

Okay I don't think anyone is insane for stating how they feel. You can only go by what experiences you have had in life and how you feel and react to them. I have been on both sides of the coin. I have been smaller and yes it does make a difference. A HUGE difference. Although I know a healthy attitude can go a long way it just doesn't change the fact that being a fat girl is just plain hard. I got looks and comments when I was thinner and now not so much. As for losing weight my diabetes makes it extremely hard and it's really scary. I've lost 30 lbs because of it which is probably muscle mass that is gone. Men are very visual creatures and not too many of them want something other than a size 2. That's just how it is. I shared this story just to say hey, this is what's going on in my life and how I feel.

Ok you guys are insane, i dont wanna sound mean but really, you shouldn't think your ugly just because you cant get a boyfriend. Theres alot more to relationships then looks. Its all about you as yourself, the way you act, you have to find the person that likes that, that matches that , that will go for that, like the first response on here from that dude... i believe that you 2 are probably good looking and no its not easy to believe in humanity when you are loved, Im about to be 18 im in a relationship its been 6 months and im loved but do i feel different about it ? NO and before that iwas in a 18 month relationship still the same... its up to you to make yourself feel better about yourself not other people

I feel the same. People are always saying I am pretty, my family especially but why am I alone? I always think I am ugly. And yeah its very easy to believe in humanity when someone loves you. Its way harder when you have no one and go on each day waiting for the next and feeling sad the whole day waiting for that one person that will love you for you.

It's real easy to believe in humanity when someone loves you.

People tell me all the time I am not model handsome, but good looking, yet I have spent many years alone. I am not attracted to just anyone. I am drawn toward woman like me who match my personality but not all my triats. I have had woman go out with me and only want to be friends and it stings a bit, but it is not worth sulking over. For some reason many women who have gone out with me think I want a life long relationship with them, but I don't. They say they are not ready for that even though I do not want it either. Sometimes we come across to other people in ways we do not realize. Do not give up on humanity yet, it took me years to find the wonderful woman I am with now. We started off as just being friends also.