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Fat,Ugly,Lonely,Depressed

  The first thoughts I think everymorning. I hate going out. The only way I ever go into the mall or any other place is if it's early when they're first opening. I hate to see boys look at me and jerk their heads off. It's as if i'm going to approach them and they don't want any eye contact. I have no TRUE friends. Depressed-all of the time. I know if I lose weight i'll look better, but, it's easier said than done. It's not like I can just lose 40lbs in a month. These are just my thoguhts..lol i'm probably the only one who's this screwed up. I just had to let it out...Thank you for reading it.

lostprophet lostprophet 22-25, F 207 Responses Dec 20, 2008

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I'm almost 20 years old and I've felt this way through my entire teenage years and still do. It's gotten to the point where I have no social life whatsoever and I lost all my friends because I push people away, I hate going out because I feel too ugly and fat to be seen, I don't enjoy anything and I'm no fun to be with, I was diagnosed with severe depression and an eating disorder. I constantly feel worthless and like no one will ever love me, even when a guy shows interest I just can't let myself be with them. I feel like I'm so ugly, fat, and unattractive I don't deserve anyone. I somehow graduated high school after almost dropping out and ever since I eventually quit everything I start and feel like a total failure.....people often say things like "you're beautiful and perfect just the way you are", "stop hating yourself" or "don't be so hard on yourself" but I can't just snap out of it. Self hatred consumes me and these thoughts won't leave my head. This has completely taken over my life, I've self harmed and attempted suicide in the past and I wish I could just disappear. To anyone else out there who is struggling you're not alone and I pray that one day we will find happiness

Not everybody has an amazing metabolism,you know. Some people like you and me can gain weight at least 1 kg a day if we eat like those who have good metabolism. I am 160 cm and 58 kg,so don't worry...there is still a lot people like you,like us,who is not size 0. Well,there is no ugly girls.every girl is beautiful,it takes the right person to see it(i take this quote from internet) don't worry i'm an outcast for most of the girl atmy school,but i have a lot of guy friend. Probably because there is less drama with them. Treat your body right girl. If you are feeling too depressed already,try to pray. Whatever your religion was praying always makes everything better. Go on your life and i believe if you are strong enough to take all of your problems,so keep it up. God bless you and have a nice holiday~

Hi, I'm 20 years old and I'm from Malaysia. I know this is old statement but I wanna share my because I have same problem. Sorry if my english too bad. Bwt, I have a same problem like you since high school when I was 15, I gain my weight and ate problem at the same time I in All-Girl high school, so I have no male friend. I'm not so social,timid,shy,slow but I'm so easy to make friend because my mother told me that I should be nice to everyone. But then, when I was in 16-17, I took art art class and my other friend take science class and accounting class.We were seperated for moment and when I greed her nice as usual I do to other my friend, she start to keep away from me and say I'm not her friends anymore and she think I'm stupid and not her standard if I still be friend of her (because she took science class) . I felt rejected,betrayed and depressed at the same time and lonely. I had no confidence to have friend, so I decide to drawing a cartoon or anime for release my tension and learn to use a software like photoshop to draw using graphic tablet. Then I got a few true friend that had a sort talent like singing and acting. They were had a same problem like me, being rejected, ugly, fat and always get bullied. We always together, help each other even we are not smart like other people in school until I graduated but we still contact each other in Whatsapp. When I was in 18-19, I lost my weight to 80kg to 56kg. I continue to study in college. I took a IT course to prove that I can do better in computer programming and this is my first experince to have a male friend. I got good pointer and spend night to study, I'm slowly gaining my weight. Im also famous of my straight-forward, furious, angry to my friend (because betrayed friendship of my past) and hate and no respect of pretty women and handsome men who had no knowledge of technology especially about free software.I only respect the lecturer or someone who smart in my class. If my friends or someone in college want to help about installing program or suggestion about altenative software, I can help. I worried about my weight but I still move on. When final project, I 'm the leader of the team. My team has 4 people, 2 boys and 2 girls, including me. Our task is to developed asset booking system and my male friend really don't know how to program so I do task alone and ask my female friend to create a CSS code for interface. I struggle in the night to find solution and I still depressed, I also ask them to find solution too but at the end I do it alone. Thank God we had finish the system but I still gaining my weight. I give them the code to understand and learn if they had a free time. Now, I'm practical, my male friend ask me to fix his Html code and add a slider to his website. I told him to read and understand but he really don't know. When I teach him from phone, he made a joke about my body, he reply the message that I'm 'G' ( 'G = Gemuk' means 'Fat' in english) and laugh at me. That things make my blood boil. He really dont understand what my problem. He really dont know that I practical in bulimia and thats make me sick. I reply back and say " fat people doesnt mean they stupid and thin people doesnt mean they smart, even thin people can be stupid too " and I delete his phone number. He called me, I off my phone. He silent for now. If I meet him, I will punch his face.
For now on, I don't give a **** to everyone who insult me. My happiest childhood life turns to be gloomiest, hatred, betrayed, depression,misandry, antisocial grown up women. Even I still depressed about my body, my weight, I really dont care. I only care of knowledge, my future.

You have to fight back, this is your life. No one deserve to treat you like that. Like John Cena said, Never Give Up. If you wanna happy, just go outside and have fun or make a new friend who experience of fat, unattractive person. Good Luck

I know how you feel...I feel fat and ugly all the time...I'm 29 yrs old still living with my parents and jobless...no real friends and feel completely alone in the world

I thought i was the only one who felt like this. I feel depressed all the time, I've started college and I'm so lonely i feel like a loser. I feel ugly. I've never had a boyfriend and i don't think i ever will. Life is really rubbish now. I just had to vent my feelings of low self esteem.

I feel the same way too. I have trouble with dating, I have no Co fide nice in myself, I hate going outside in public and I know I am hideous to look at with all the extra pounds . I hate myself, I tried everything to lose weight but nothing worked.

Sadly to say I'm with you in the same boat my husband always tell me I'm fat ugly and he could get better I'm so depressed I don't no what to do any more so ya

Your husband is a mean person. He married you because he loves you. Remind him of that

How can your husband say such an unkind thing? Tell him he is not "Mr. Perfect" either, and he has no right to intentionally hurt your feelings.

I feel exactly the same way...I mean I know everyone says people are beautiful in their own way and **** like that but nothing will ever make me change my mind ever since I was little Iv thought (known) that I'm fat and ugly I'm now 15 and my thoughts have just got worse I have absolutely no self confidence I despise myself I look around me and see so many pretty slim flawless beautiful girl (including my best Mate who I'm with all the time) they and my parents call me pretty but dude they have to I actually ******* hate everything about me it drives me crazy Iv self harmed before...I dont regret it i just don't know what to think anymore to be honest ad as soon a so see someone who is pretty it has a cute relationship it a great life it puts me down automatically for the whole day...yeah just don't know anymore but Iv tire soooo hat before to lose weight but wow **** it so hard I just don't have the will power or strength... :/

I get exactly the same treatment! I am 35 (past my expiration date now!) but ever since my teen years woman would avert their eyes from me. I am unmarried, and never had a girlfriend. It seems beauty is everything in this damned world. I feel for you, I truly do.

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what bothers me about many of these posts is that most of you are still teenagers. When I was in high school I weighed 130lbs max and I thought I was so fat because all the girls I went to school with were maybe 100lbs and tiny and gorgeous. I recently turned 23, and I now weight 220lbs, its my fault and I know it is, I got out of a bad relationship and moved out of my parents house and ate nothing but junk. In march I tried to kill myself and I had to spend 5 days in a mental hospital with others who also were trying to kill themselves. The difference is that almost all of them were worse off than me and they we're getting better, one guy had terminal cancer and his wife left him (at the same time) and he was the nicest most friendly guy. I still feel like killing myself, and maybe someday I will, but I hope I have a better reason than because I'm fat. I can change and so can you, it takes time, and more motivation than most people have. But people change everyday, so barring sudden unexpected death I don't see myself being fat the rest of my life. And maybe this time when Im 130lbs I'll appreciate it more because of how hard i will have to work to get there.

Just remember time will pass either way, wether your problems get better or worse is all about what you do with that time.

You are a beautiful person just the way you are. Don't let your weight define you. From reading your post I can see you are an intelligent and articulate person. You are in touch with your feelings. I'm overweight but I'm learning to take "baby steps" to correct the problem. "Do not dwell in the past. Do not worry about the future. Focus on the present moment." - The Buddha (said this 2,500 years ago.)

I feel the same way.... What makes it worse is my boyfriend calls me fat as well... I hate b n in public... I just want to hide.. I try to workout... But ..... ((side fact just had a miscarrage,and very sick for 4 months))

if your boyfriend calls you fat and you just had a miscarrage its time to find a more supportive and caring boyfriend.

I feel the same way my boyfriend thinks I'm perfect and I'm beautiful and all but I just don't see if, I look at other girlIs and i notice how pretty they are and how lucky she is and my mood turns up side down ! Ijust see ugly i guess i have to try to accept it GOd made me this way and i have live with it an

I feel depressed alot myself ....I must say readin all these posts makes me feel not so alone.. but the thing is , just because there are those who dont believe in god, doesnt mean he doesnt exsist. I can refuse to believe that you exsist but my disbelief doesnt make it so. knowin and loving god is very important... He wants only the best for us but sometimes we make the wrong turn in life and lose track of the journey he had for us in the first place. I admit it... ive lost my way, but thats me. I made the choices. The worst part is knowin whats right but keep doin whats wrong. Thats what keeps me depressed.

I know many fat girls that are fantastic. I also know a girl that was in a fire and has had 16 operations on her face and is really hard to look at until you talk to her and then you realize that you are in the presence of someone extraordinary. You can always lose weight......and when you are ready, you will.....but being ugly is something else. You need to find a way to love who you are. Learn how to meditate. Find the light inside of you and start to give love to those less fortunate than you are. It's amazing how much love you will get back. Get up......go outside and breathe ! Find someone else that seems unhappy and depressed and make friends with them. They need you. Go to a movie or out to lunch. They will not care what you look like.....they will be so happy to be invited. Stop at the makeup counter in the large department stores and tell them that you would like to start wearing some makeup but you are not sure of how to apply it. They will help you. Get a great haircut and make your hair shiny and work on having it be something that you love. Take your new found friend with you and help her too! Do something totally new and different....like volunteering at a children's cancer camp or working one day a week at the library reading to children. Be silly for once and remember that your face is just that.......it's only a face. Your heart and your kindness and your intelligence and your soon to be beautiful hair and your sensitivity are more than your face. As you get older you will realize that faces change over the years and the people around you change but the love that you find and the love that you share is forever! Start by finding one little spot inside of you to nurture and love. I can tell that you have a gift for writing.......so perhaps keeping a journal would be good for you. I have an ugly face too but I love who I am and what I have to give. I wear alot of makeup and I'm known for having crazy earrings. I let my hair grow long and I wash it daily and it shines.......I'm fat too.......but no one seems to care because I am a good friend and loyal and I've worked really hard to help others. Don't concern yourself with those boys.....just say hi and keep walking. Believe me, they are also insecure and if you are simply aloof but nice they will see that your intentions are innocent. Good luck

I'm super ugly in the face. Sometimes people look away when I smile, as if I've hurt their eyes :-) Also, I know talking is not a good look on me.

Ugly is not terrible. Lady gaga is not pretty! Did you ever see phantom of the opera? Be outrageously fun or silly. Lets try to remember that there are many vile, terrible, mean pretty people too. I'd rather be me! I can work with my looks but they will always be ugly in a place that makes them miserable. God loves ugly!

I feel very similar at times and really have to dig and push to find the motivation needed to carry in. So your definitely not alone ;(

I feel the same, I'm 13 and I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror. I have a really Round face so when I try to smile it makes my face look really fat and it upsets me. I'm not pretty, at all. I'm really pale and I get acne every once and a while and I get hated on. I try my hardest to look my best I wear makeup and put on perfume and dress nice and even when I do all that, I still look like crap. It's gotten so bad I have drove myself to self harm and I do it quite a lot. I just wish I could be pretty, you know? I want a guy to just for once, notice me for me and not because I'm ugly. I have friends, but they aren't considered good friends, they ignore me a lot and don't hang out with me on weekends and it upsets me big time.

If your best friend was telling you this about herself, wouldn't you tell her about all of her positive qualities? Don't be so hard on yourself. Be pretty inside. Do something without those so called friends that you will love........how about a Zumba class in another town so that you can be free of judgement by those so called friends.

I am older than you and I feel the same kiddo. I don't have an easy answer but maybe if we take it one day at a time???

I feel you girl.

I feel the same EXACT way. You are absoluely not alone. You may feel this way on the inside, but you need to hold yourself high and walk with confidence. Weight loss wont happen instantly, sorry, but it will happen if you keep to it. I lost 16 lbs in the last month and i am pushing to lose 50. You are beautiful in your own way wether its mind or body. Stay strong and if you want to talk. My kik is: lizzardncmpunk

I feel just the same way I've been fat from birth and now I'm a teenager I'm facing the thoughest time. I hate going out I feel very ugly and stupid I hate taking pictures because I look very ugly and fat, I'm at the cinema I see a very cute boy they look a bit interested in you but since you're fat theyl never approach you, they'd approach the skinnier girl beside you and you have a whole better personality than she does, its just sad in school always getting picked on becasue of your size and they never think about your feelings. They'd just say it..

Me too Ugly and fat. But you know what? I am so much nicer than those jerks. And I am determined to grow up as a success because I can see through thos skinny girls and I know that I am way ahead of them. I now treat them with so much kindness that they don't know how to react. When they ignore me I am totally indifferent to them. Being 15 fat and ugly sucks .

I feel the same way, I have been this way since I was a little girl I am now 26 years old. I have cried everyday since I was a little girl, I feel unhappy, worthless, ugly, I have no friends, I have no life. I am 99.9% sure I will feel & be this way until I one day die, I pray everyday for God to take me away. When I look in the mirror I feel like I am so ugly & worthless, I hate everything about myself down to my eyebrows, fingernails, hair. The only thing I love about myself is my personality, its what everyone who meets me really likes, but they have no idea how I really am inside, they probably think I am a happy person. Im not sure who will read this, but I just came across this website & read the post & related somewhat to it. I dont wish this feeling of self hate towards my worst enemy, it really kills you slowly, mentally, emotionally & physically. Whoever reading this & feels the same way, please know you are not alone, may God please hear our prayers & help us be happy one day.Maria, 26, Dallas Texas

I appreciate your post and i do feel the same way... its hard to say you are ok but the truth is your not.... i would cry sometimes and hate to go out....

Hi glad I\'m not the only one feeling like this I\'m forty and I have cried every day since as far back as I can remember my family think I am a horrible person I have no confidence I hate going out I have no one in the world I can call a friend I hope your feeling a little better

im 42 and need a friend .

I'll be your friend!

I hear you young one. I am older than you but share your pain. No one knows this about me I took a vacation from work and only left my house to go to the store. Three weeks.... Never wanted to leave my house. I say this to relay to you that I do know what you are feeling. I hate myself and don't know what to do about it Any ideas?

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i'm curious...you wrote almost 5 years ago...did things ever change? if they did, was it what you thought it would be? whatever happened, i hope you're doing ok. i know what you're dealing with, it's a drag. believe me i know.

To be honest-my mentality has changed. I've accepted myself more, not completely, but more than I did in the past. I have my down days-and on those days I stay in the house...sometimes all week. But i'm better than I used to be.

I've never been anything other than too skinny, I had maybe an ab or two, last wk I heard something I never thought would've describing me but my mom said I a fat.

I have lots of factors that are out of my control and some physical ailments and restrictions that don't allow me the opportunity to do all the traditional methods,even my food I don't pick.

Yesterday I tried on my biggest sized work clothes they were tighter and almost had the zipper stuck in my body
My belly is unlike me I'm super shy, never liked my body and always wore multiple layers
Now even more layers I'm wearing and igo to help out and am reaching up and my very social butterfly belly thinks it has to appear,I was told oh call the garbage man there's a spillage here and pillsbury dough chick as I'm ticklish and soft in my middle.


Only good think is my chest which has always been small is growing. I was self conscious before I gained weigh whose gonna want a lifelike Crisco girl.
Sometimes I am almost ready to cry and I rub my Santa bellly.

I think the same way as you :(

im all my time of travelling to different countries and meeting different people i have never found someone who wasnt important, all life is based on a constant flux, but its how you shape that flux that defines you, the problem with those "boys" is they mirror not of the self but of the image of the vein, dont let that hurt you, its a false idea that ultimately will be there downfall, to loose wieght is ultimately ure choice, it isnt easy i know ive went up and down to looking really nice and tonned to a bit tubby currently...but know that there will be those who will stand with you in dark times but i can guarantee you that they are running as fast as they can to find you to help bring you out of the dark.

Thank you honey :)

no problem

at least you are young...IM 62, a widow, 4th year coming up, fat, health problems, ugly...long white hair...use a cane...education, -way- out of date...memory problems keep me from going back to school...and I know im declining, but I cant stop it....I used to sing....and I was pretty good...asked to backup sing a couple times in bands...but I heard myself sing recently and I will never sing again for anyone to hear...I cant work...I just sit in my apartment, on the computer, watching tv...and just wishing....Im so out of date...even my children are aliens...none believe in god...im not a Christian, have problem with organized religion...but even my granddaughter doesn't believe in god...my husband and I were hippies from the late sixties...we believed...moved here three years ago...still haven't made friends....its freaky out there....don't work or go to church, so meeting people is hard, and they look at me and I can see it in their faces....thanks for whatever...you are not alone...bee.....Im just so lonely, I don't usually question the way of things....but I think sometimes God took the wrong one...bee,,,

It is amazing how, in the moment, a simple thought (a seeming reflection of ourselves)can steal our lives from us. The reality is that if you look back at yourself years later you will decide that you were healthy; and that you had your youth....these are the things we take for granted most. In life the pressures we endure to be "perfect" actually rob us if the moments we should make the most of! EVERYONE DESERVES THE LIFE THEY WERE GIVEN, because you see yourself to be less valuable (or desirable) than the person you choose to compare yourself with is YOUR weakness NOT your measure of worth. You get only one shot in this world...and as much as everything around you tempts you into believing that your "purpose" is to be appealing to the meaningless drones which surround you, consider one thing..EACH IF THOSE DRONES HAVE THE SAME UNSECURITIES AND WEAKNESSES AS YOU! Don't give in; prove them wrong and be what you wish most! All that you are capable of; because this is, truly, what you are here for...& the only thing you owe to yourself. Trust me in saying life is WAY TO SHORT TO FOCUS ON YOUR OWN SHORTCOMINGS. We all disappoint each other as much as we disappoint ourselves.

I love you for this..like literally!

You are still young and can do it. I am fat, and I am 61 years old and depress. I am also a dibetic and on pills. good luck