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You Think You're Ugly? Read This

As an ugly woman, society (males and females) treat you as an outcast.  I'm intelligent, a great sense of humor, kind, etc however most people recoil from me. You see, from the sociological p.o.v., People in general don't realize that they do treat people differently if they don't fit into the normal category (survival of the fittest) it's part of human nature and an instinct in the animal kingdom.  if people do not like looking at you, they won't listen or pay attention to you so they really don't take time to get to know you. Also, people assume bc you're ugly, you have to be just as stupid.  I'm a woman past the 1/2 century mark, not only was i unnattractive as a younger person, age has made me look more hideous.  My own parents and family members have made me feel ostracized from them (oh yes, i was always treated differently from other members of family).. Although i have a college degree, I have always had a difficult time getting employment (you guessed it, i'm chronically under-employed). Ditto relationships, no one has ever pursued me for a relationship..People will say beauty is skin deep... fool's paradise.  What do I look like?  To summarize, people can only describe me as "that girl with the big nose". Oh, lets not stop there.  My face is long and skinny (no cheek bones) and my nose occupies at least a third of my face.  The width of my nose is wider than my mouth (my nose eclipses my mouth).  My eyes are deep set and uneven (one side is lower than the other and rounder).  At my age  now the eyelids droop.  Let's not stop there...I have Rosacea so my face is chronically red and bc of allergies my eyes are always red.... let's not stop there.... i have perpetual bags under my eyes that on most days look like I've been punched in both eyes.... wait, there's more..... my hair... I have that cotton head hair that only one in 1000 child is born with.  It is baby fine and kinky and now it is gray!  Oh by now you all are saying this and that can be fixed..... Hello, i'm allergic to hair dyes and cosmetics...can't do a darn thing.  Now you all, go look at yourselves right now in the mirror and be thankful for what you have and be thankful for the people that love you. BTW, i'm all alone in this world, no family, friends or significant other.  I'll be dead several days b4 anyone takes notice (no, i'm not suicidal).  this is just the real-life world of the real ugly person.

myrlo myrlo 51-55 14 Responses Jul 7, 2009

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You have an amazing will to survive, if this is your adversity thank God for vindication and company. You have helped inspire my beauty just a bit more than I had allowed before. My bddo qualm is with a face opposite and as exotic, but those that shy from us have most to insight. Thank you for your contribution and may you have peace Myrlo. Rest

I am pretty certain that I'm far more hideous than you.

Don't get it

This is EXACTLY how I feel as well. It is really difficult to find one's place in the world when everything is depending on how one looks. Please know there are others out there experiencing exactly the same as you

For the people who believe they are ugly you've been lied too. This is a lie
from the devil the evil one for we are all made in the image god we may the all look the same but this does not make us ugly.

I am not ugly. I am radiantly gorgeous, a chip off the ol' Block. Its just that nobody cares to look that deeply to see the beauty I am. ( God created me in His image and likeness.) I use my outer shell to sort out those i'd rather not waste my time with.

Omg I nearly cried and I always thought I was ugly and kinda chunky I always get teased in school (btw I'm in 6th grade and I don't as much anymore) I thought one day I needed to starve my self (I'm 11 and weigh 105)I feel so bad about myself I'm in pre ap math I feel sometime I need to just rot! Bc all of the popular girls are skinny an beauitful and yes I've been called beauitful cute pretty ect I don't know how should I make myself skinny (I play so many sports) an I want to be skinny so bad

I feel for you. I have and am still walking in your shoes.



I am lucky - I have husband that is not shallow. He's the best. When I'm with him I'm alway happy, because he loves me for the person that I am - and has never said an unkind word about my appearance.



But it still hurts when I go out with him - and strangers will grab the people they are with and stare at me - like I'm a freak.



I went to Busch Gardens the other day - and a bunch of girls walked by me. The one girl nudged her friends and said loud enough for me to hear - that she thought Halloween was over - but my face would make the perfect mask for next year.



My husband went into a Convenience store the other day. One of the clerks were staring out the window - and I started looking around - I was sitting in his truck - and the clerk was staring at me! Next thing I know he gets some of his co-workers - and they are all staring at me. I finally just ducked down in the seat.



There was a girl at work that barked, growled and whistled at me on a daily basis.

I was so happy to see her get let go.



This kind of thing happens to me all the time.



I do not have social anxiety - I'm not afraid of these people - I'm just shocked that they can be so blatant about it.



I'm not beautiful on the outside. I have dark circles cause by allergies and the allergies also makes my eyes bloodshot. I have my dad's big nose. I didn't ask for these attributes. They are unfortunate genetics.



If genetics were a choice at birth - we'd all be beautiful - but they are not.

We need to be a more accepting society. If you're not ugly - then you were

one of the lucky ones that were blessed with good genetic - you should be very thankful. You shouldn't pick on people that have less! I think a lot of it is immaturity.

A lot of it can be blamed on the parents - who taught their children to be shallow.



I have learned a long time ago - to accept myself for who I am. These people that judge me don't know me from Adam.

I refuse to be a victim - in fact, I feel sorry for all these shallow people, because looks fade - and I'm a firm believer of Karma.



All I can say - is believe in yourself.



We live in a very visual world - and it's unfortunate- but people do judge you by the way you look. It's not going to change. It's been that way since the beginning of time.



I gave my best friend a kidney a couple years ago - can people see that by my appearance? Nope. Can they see what a kind and giving person I am by just looking at me? Nope.



Yes - it does hurt to not be accepted - simply because of the way you look.

But - being 55 - and having to deal with this since I was a teenager - I know for a fact - that it isn't going to change.



What a wonderful world it would be if these shallow people would take just 1 minute before they act - and try as hard as they could to try to find something good about people instead of lashing out and not caring how it effects the person.



I do believe that we are all unique - that we are all children of God and that he loves us all unconditionally. He is the only one that I really care about judging me. I wake up and thank him every day for my health and all my blessings. Each day is a gift - and we should not let the negative things that people say effect us. If you do - then they win. Just try as hard as you can to give it to God - and just let it go. He sees what is going on. They will have to answer to him in the end.



Be happy and make the best of each day - don't give the superficial people the power to ruin it for you. Be a good person - be good to yourself and do the best that you can be! You only get 1 chance at life. Make the best of it!

I totally agree with this sad, sad story. I've always been ugly, acne added to it when I started my teen years. Then my teeth started becoming soft and breaking. Now I'm 39, just returning to college. Still have acne, kinda chunky and have 2 broken front teeth. People sit there and either stare at you or wont look at you at all. They even move away from me in class. I am married, but neither one of us has good looks so we make a good pair. He's older, really thin white hair and all his teeth are broken down to the gumline. So you the prettier you are the better you will get in life. The only bad thing about them is they are the most shallow and conceited people you'll ever meet. GOD doesn't care about beauty, he loves you no matter what. That's the only person I care what they think of me on the inside. As long as my husband and 2 children love me for who I am and are not obsessed over my looks. Than the rest of the world can screw themselves.

This is such a sad post in a sense. But I will say that there is more to life than looks. Soon we will all die and face a much greater problem - our sin. What we did with what God gave us in life (whether good or bad), how we treated others, & most importantly what we did with His Son Jesus who He sent to die for us & take away all our sins on the cross so we can be with Him forever. There (in heaven) we shall all be beautiful. This life will soon be over & so will our feelings of inadequecy (when it comes to our looks). But there are far greater things to be concerned about.. like, the after life. Store up your treasures in heaven. For where your treasures are, there your heart will be also... And another remind, the Father of all creation loves each of His children, regardless of how they look and wants a personal, intimiate relationship with them. Even if nobody ever loves you on this planet earth, Jesus Christ loves you, created you, died FOR YOU..wants an intimate relationship with you. Please ask Him into your heart right now & turn away from your sins. Pick up your Bible and start reading the book of John or Romans. Life is but a breath - we'll soon all die. Let us not get fixated too much on it but realize we are living for a far greater purpose... we were created for a far greater purpose...

http://wayofthemaster.com/interviewwithgod.shtml

every time I read a similar story, I come across the same old thought-that there is no love. I mean, no true spiritual love, anyways.

How can love be a grand, inspiring feeling when there are people who almost never get it, due to an accident of birth, like being born ugly? whatever happened to we all deserve love, we are all lovable, God loves us all?, when so many of us end up spending most of our lives being lonely and miserable.



I have been ugly for a large portion of my life, including the first 14 years, when I was most vulnerable to criticisms, and I know how it feels. I was fat as a kid..I was fat for most of my life, and still am now at 21. I was only normal-weight for 2 years, basically, in between 15 and 17, and that's when I actually started being called pretty for the first time in my life.

I used to be incredibly vengeful because I didn't think anybody should be allowed to be happy because they are born pretty. It's just not fair!

And I still kinda feel the same. You can't take credit for your physical features.

I still have people calling me ugly to my face, and I personally understand that. I am not average-looking by any means, and like someone above said, people are powerfully threatened by anything too out of the norm-it's like a subconscious thing.

I have thought all my life that nobody would ever love me, that love and happiness are just not for me, and until this ripe old age, it has been true.

But, then, I have always been set on vengeance and pride. it's my strongest ambition to never give into my instincts like most people, and control as much of my impulses and behavior, as possible, and especially never let anybody have power over me, or poison me with the illusion of love.

Then, as sad as this may sound, I realized that I could never love an ugly man, either. Or maybe? Not sure, because I haven't met any truly ugly men.

I definitely firstly notice the good-looking ones, but, everybody does, really.



But, anyway, you may think you are ugly, but there are always uglier people around. I know a lot of girls and women who are ugly in a purely aesthetic sense, and yet they're charming, and people love them, and they have no trouble finding boyfriends..it's really a lot about how you feel in your own skin, about how much you believe in yourself.

Think of Susan Boyle, for instance. Or Barbra Streisand...can't think of any more, but there are generally ugly women who have managed to impose themselves, despite their appearance.

And make themselves likable.

I agree completely, Roserick22. Facebook and Myspace have their respective good points, but there's so much flashy shallowness to be found on both. It becomes extremely irritating as more and more annoying, superficial people send friends requests to persons they have nothing in common with. Conversely, I have noticed that EP not only encourages building relationships on deeper things, but also seems to attract deeper, more soulful people. I am sure there are some superficial buffoons here as well, but at least they seem to make up only a small minority.

That is why I prefer EP over Facebook and Myspace. It's not all about what someone looks like, where they're from, how old they are, and all of the other shallow reasons people want to be your "friend". WildMagic; you hit the nail right on the head!

Sadly, what you say is very true. There have even been sociological studies to prove that appearance makes a great difference where things like employment are concerned. (In one notable example an Atlanta, Georgia television news crew took attractive twin ladies, made up one to look beautiful and the other to look plain, and had them both interview for the same jobs around the city. Guess which one got the most call backs?)



The bizarre truth is, however, is that exceptionally gorgeous people have their fair share of equal treatment problems as well. One rather stunning young woman once told me: "It's like no body can see past my outside. I'm intelligent, and I have some really good ideas, but no one listens. Men don't even acknowledge that I have a brain. Co-workers don't take me seriously, so I never get the chance to advance. It's like, to them I'm just a pretty face, and my only purpose in life is to be decorative. Worst of all, I have a hard time talking about it, because when I try to tell people how I feel, they act like I'm just being vain. It's like: 'You're pretty. You have nothing to complain about.'"



The thoroughly unattractive fact is that we are a race that strives to be average. The desperate desire of most humans to "fit in" causes them to worship normalcy- a double fallacy as "normalcy" doesn't actually exist. People chase after an illusionary standard because it helps them to force-fit the world into a false symmetry, which in turn makes them feel safer.



There are those, and I include myself in that number, who realize our race's unfortunate tendency to judge by appearance, and take conscious steps to preclude it, but in my opinion we are too few. You see, in order to fix such a problem, one has to first make the uncomfortable admission that the problem exists, and there are not many willing to do so.



This is what makes things such as Experience Project so magnificent. Here, no one can see anyone's face. There is no way to know, without being told, whether a person is ugly or pretty, what their ethnicity is, or even how old they are. It removes a great number of human kind's usual bias filters, ensuring that members get to know one another for who they are, not for who their stereotypes.

What a sad story you tell. There comes a point when inner beauty is unlikely to counteract an unusual outer appearance, whatever people (who are usually good looking) may say. Having had this problem all your life, I do not see any solution. You have clearly analyzed your situation over the years and no doubt attempted to find your way round the problem, without success. I doubt whether anybody her will come up with an idea you have not already tried.