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I Need Help, I Am So Ugly!

is anyone out there who can advise me on what i could do to my face to make myself look normal. i just want to look like a normal girl.i am so ugly i hate myself.i look at myself in the mirrior a million times a day and every time my heart sinks and i ask my self why do i have to be so abnormal.when i go out i just cant stop looking at girls passing by every girl better looking then me. do they realize what a great gift they have for looking the way they look. looks means so much it determines how you live your life, your looks control alot of things in life, my life would certainly be different if i was pretty, i would have had a choice in whom i got married to rather then wait for someone to accept me whoever, anybody. i hate going out because i have such low self esteem every time people look at me i feel they are thinking how ugly i am. even though i wear so much make up i still feel so ugly! as soon as i wake up in the morning i force myself to wear make up even though i hate wearing it, i cant face my husband until i have the make up on,its been 2 yrs since  he married me and not for one minute he has seen me without my make up in the 2 yrs he married me. i wear it in the morning and take it offf just before i go to bed when the bedroom light is off and my husband has gone to bed.i and n the morning i hide my face under the covers until i get up and wear it again. i hate my life, i hate make up its ruining my face my skin my eyes, i wear top liner and evrery night my eyes start itching me and i cant stop rubbing it and it goes all swollen and red, how am i going to live the rest of my life like this, i will end up blind. and without it i cant even look at myself in the mirrir. i look like a boy with no eyebrows, dark circles around my eyes, small eyes and acne and just horrrible features.make up doest inprove me much but its better then not having it on. atleast i feel i can face my husband,but i know for a fact he finds me ugly even with my make up on. he has said alot of hurtfull things about me everyyime i think about it i feel down upset, deppressed, insecure, i feel like ****! he would compare me with other gir;s and say things like shes pretty but your not!, why are you taking so long to get ready, who wants to look at you. he says i look dull. it was an arranged marriage but i dont understand why he agreed to marry me if he finds me so ugly, i hardly look at him in the eye because of my low self esteem but i always wished my husband could change that with his compliments and meke me feel like atleast someone finds me attractive.but no, he makes me cry with all his hurtfull comments,everytime i go out with him he always has his eyes fixed on pretty girls passing by.when his driving he always stops to let only the pretty girls pass.i have caught him watching **** many times. i think am going crazy.insecure. if i was pretty my life would have been tottally different.i could have chosen who to get married to, they would have loved me because looks does play a big part in mens feeling for you. i would have felt alot more confident about going out and meeting people. if i had money i would have done surgery on my facei improved my hair and skin and felt alot better and confident about myself.am so poor, my husband hardly gives me a pound to spend on myself.i wish there was someone rich out there who could help me out of this miserable life and rescue me from this horrid insecure painfull life.i wish there were people out there who could help pay for the cost of cosmetic surgery like they show on tv like 10 yrs younger.am only 26 but i feel like a 40 yr old,please is there anyone out there! anyone? who can save my marriage and help my husband find me attractive and not be so obsessed with other girls, and help me overcome my low self esteem.and make me pretty. i dont know how much more longer i can live like this before i think of giving up life!!!!!!!

HAFSABEGUM HAFSABEGUM 26-30, F 5 Responses Mar 9, 2010

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Are you tired of looking in the mirror and getting depressed, of avoiding your own reflection, and feeling awkward in social situations? Well don't despair - most of the time, ugliness is just an attitude we put on. But even when it's a real physical deformity or lack, it can always be overcome.


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Steps


1
Smile. Believe it or not, smiling or not smiling makes up most of what people think of as "attractive".

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2
Think back on movies you've seen, which leading men really stood out as the handsome, attractive ones.


3
Our brains are programmed to be attracted to smiles from the time we are infants, and it can do miracles toward putting that 'special something' into your otherwise unremarkable face. If people don't even remember what you look like, often, they will be able to recall your genuine grin or laugh.


4
Be open to thinking of yourself as attractive. Most of the time, people who feel that they are ugly shut themselves off from the rest of the world for fear that it will hurt them. In their opinion, the world's expected disapproval seems deserved. It is not. Most of the time, others only respond to a person as 'ugly' because that person responds to themselves as 'ugly.'


5
Stand looking into the mirror, and react to what you see as if it were another person. Treat yourself with the common decency you'd show to a stranger. You'd never walk up to a stranger and say, "Wow, look at how ugly you are!" So don't do it to yourself. Be polite to yourself, and offer to help that person in the mirror in any way that you can, to look better and to feel better about how they do look, and then actually do it! Common courtesy to yourself can go a long way toward breaking the image of 'ugly' in your mind.


6
Dress well, and groom as if you were going out, every day. This means wear the nice pants, iron your shirts, make your hair look as good as it will get. This may seem a tedious waste at first, since those who are convinced they're ugly are usually tempted to hide at home and never see anyone all day. When you get used to looking nice all day, you will begin to automatically think 'I look nice' as an automatic reaction, and you will interact with other people with confidence.


7
Keep it up. No matter how silly you feel at first, remember the steps: smile, be open to thinking of yourself as attractive, treat yourself as courteously and helpfully as you would a to stranger, and groom yourself well. Progress can come gradually, and it's only a fast-food mentality that says we have to have everything overnight.


8
Get a new hairstyle, wear some make-up, and treat yourself well. Change your look around, see which fits you best. A new haircut can do wonders in your confidence!


9
Be open to friendship! You will see when you get more friends, you will have your own self confidence to the point where you will be ready see yourself as pretty.


10
Remember, some of our favorite 'attractive' people really aren't very good looking! Some celebrities we see aren't really what an artist would call the paragon of beauty. Many are beautiful in non-classical ways. Above all, it's their attractive, delightful, energetic spirits that we love. Beauty is a laugh; it's not in the shape of an eyebrow, it's in how you USE that eyebrow. In fact, the most well-recalled people are usually remembered just as much for their unique facial features as they are for their good classic ones!


11
Beauty is just as much of an illusion as ugliness is. Take the make-up off your favorite supermodel, and you'd be shocked to realize she looks just like you did in high school. Even if she doesn't, put her in some old unkempt clothes and make her think she's ugly, and you'd be amazed at the transformation; from supermodel to average in a day.


12
Self-confidence is more attractive than physical beauty. Stand-up straight, hold your head up high, and look people in the eye. SMILE!


13
Exercise. If you feel down and don't belong to a gym, take a 30-minute brisk walk. Sometimes a person will think that their situation is causing their unhappiness, when in actuality the feeling of unhappiness just latched onto something random. Regular exercise is as good as anti-depressants in raising one's mood and thus making you feel better overall, thus more likely to appreciate yourself rather than tearing yourself down.


14
Remember that not all people find the same physical aspects attractive and the traits a person may find unattractive in themselves, other people may find beautiful. Also remember that a lot, if not most, people aren't looking for 'beauty' in their friends or mates. Hollywood and the media brainwash us to think too much in terms of beauty.


15
If you are unsure of how to dress well, find someone you see on a daily basis who you think looks good/happy/confident. Notice what they wear and find articles in your own wardrobe that are similar and try to emulate their style. Dress comfortably and as yourself; if it feels like your belly is hanging over your jeans waist, that doesn't make you feel good about yourself so give those jeans away.


16
Tell yourself that you are beautiful, and act beautiful and kind by your own standards.


17
Remember, beauty is relative. Don't change yourself to impress someone. The best thing to do is be who you are.


18
Keep in mind that you and you only are your own worst critic.


19
When you develop confidence, you'll become a lot easier on yourself.


20
Be who you are and you will always be happy!


21
Avoid the superficial types of people who judge or choose others based on their appearance rather than on who they are as a person and what they have to offer the world.


GOD's grace and peace !

i feel what you are going through because i went through the samething if you ever want to talk please feel free and let me know

I feel exactly the same way. I bet your not ugly, you need to get your self esteem up. Dont listen to your husband, he sounds like a complete jerk. Everyone is beatiful in some way. My main struggle with my face is my acne and how big of a head i have. But ive learned to deal with them both. There are many products for acne, that im sure will help at least a little. Dont get surgery or do anything drastic because that could end up very bad. Remember that we are always much harder on ourselves than other people are, and we notice our flaws much more than someone else will. Dont listen to your husband he is wrong and he will regret what he says to you. The world has made beauty the most imoportant thing in society, but its not. The way a person acts is more important than a way a person looks. DO NOT GIVE UP ON LIFE. Appearences will always change but doing something like that is permanant forever. Pray to God and you are also in my prayers. Remember YOU ARE BEATIFUL! God Bless :)

Hi, I read your story and almost cried. I'm very sorry about this. The advice I could give you is to divorce him, find something you love, and go for it. Notice how I said something, meaning instead of a husband find a career or goal you want to accomplish. I know I have had and still have a low self esteem and whenever I feel depressed about it, I just remember that I'm here to achieve my goal rather than just look good. Honestly I feel like I'm the only person in this world who doesn't give a crap about looks. I really don't and if I do, I blame society. They poisened my brain, and everyone else's, because deep down, and at the end of the day, I really don't care about looks. Appearance, [physcal appearance] is such a waste of time and people spend so much money to improve it and honestly they're still criticized it's so annoying and ridiculous and I came to a conclusion that I'm not dealing with it anymore, it's just soo flipping annoying, I'd rather do something more with my life. Yes I still deal with the pressure of society, but I shrug it off as much as I can. If you need anymore advice you can just contact me :]

Is it possible to divorce him?<br />
I bet you arent even that ugly and the husband is trying to make himself feel better by putting you down. Is he a handsome fit man himself?