I Need Help, I Am So Ugly!
is anyone out there who can advise me on what i could do to my face to make myself look normal. i just want to look like a normal girl.i am so ugly i hate myself.i look at myself in the mirrior a million times a day and every time my heart sinks and i ask my self why do i have to be so abnormal.when i go out i just cant stop looking at girls passing by every girl better looking then me. do they realize what a great gift they have for looking the way they look. looks means so much it determines how you live your life, your looks control alot of things in life, my life would certainly be different if i was pretty, i would have had a choice in whom i got married to rather then wait for someone to accept me whoever, anybody. i hate going out because i have such low self esteem every time people look at me i feel they are thinking how ugly i am. even though i wear so much make up i still feel so ugly! as soon as i wake up in the morning i force myself to wear make up even though i hate wearing it, i cant face my husband until i have the make up on,its been 2 yrs since he married me and not for one minute he has seen me without my make up in the 2 yrs he married me. i wear it in the morning and take it offf just before i go to bed when the bedroom light is off and my husband has gone to bed.i and n the morning i hide my face under the covers until i get up and wear it again. i hate my life, i hate make up its ruining my face my skin my eyes, i wear top liner and evrery night my eyes start itching me and i cant stop rubbing it and it goes all swollen and red, how am i going to live the rest of my life like this, i will end up blind. and without it i cant even look at myself in the mirrir. i look like a boy with no eyebrows, dark circles around my eyes, small eyes and acne and just horrrible features.make up doest inprove me much but its better then not having it on. atleast i feel i can face my husband,but i know for a fact he finds me ugly even with my make up on. he has said alot of hurtfull things about me everyyime i think about it i feel down upset, deppressed, insecure, i feel like ****! he would compare me with other gir;s and say things like shes pretty but your not!, why are you taking so long to get ready, who wants to look at you. he says i look dull. it was an arranged marriage but i dont understand why he agreed to marry me if he finds me so ugly, i hardly look at him in the eye because of my low self esteem but i always wished my husband could change that with his compliments and meke me feel like atleast someone finds me attractive.but no, he makes me cry with all his hurtfull comments,everytime i go out with him he always has his eyes fixed on pretty girls passing by.when his driving he always stops to let only the pretty girls pass.i have caught him watching **** many times. i think am going crazy.insecure. if i was pretty my life would have been tottally different.i could have chosen who to get married to, they would have loved me because looks does play a big part in mens feeling for you. i would have felt alot more confident about going out and meeting people. if i had money i would have done surgery on my facei improved my hair and skin and felt alot better and confident about myself.am so poor, my husband hardly gives me a pound to spend on myself.i wish there was someone rich out there who could help me out of this miserable life and rescue me from this horrid insecure painfull life.i wish there were people out there who could help pay for the cost of cosmetic surgery like they show on tv like 10 yrs younger.am only 26 but i feel like a 40 yr old,please is there anyone out there! anyone? who can save my marriage and help my husband find me attractive and not be so obsessed with other girls, and help me overcome my low self esteem.and make me pretty. i dont know how much more longer i can live like this before i think of giving up life!!!!!!!