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To Ugly To Fall In Love.

I am really, really ugly. My mother was a beauty queen, but unfortunately I happened to get my father's appearance, and that's one of the reasons why I'm ugly. My older sister looks like my mother so she is beautiful, and sometimes I'm jealous. How could she be so beautiful when I got so ugly, when we have the same parents? I guess it's just bad luck. Quite an irony, isn't it?



My nose is huge and crooked, my teeth are sloping and warped and over all my features are very irregular. My chin points to the right, my nose points to the left, my right cheek is fatter than the other and the left part of my jaw is larger than the right part. I'm not deformed, I'm simply ugly. The irregularity of my face depends partly of a disease I had when I was a child, because it paralyzed the right part of my face. I got medicine in time so it's not paralyzed anymore, but the traces of the illness will forever be written in my feaures, perfectly conspicuous to everyone.



I try my best to look pretty; I stay in shape, I wear make-up and pretty clothing, I take care of my skin and my hair, but still, with my face, it will never be enough. I am 18 years old and I have never had a boyfriend. I'm not sure I will ever have one, because I never like those who likes me, and if I like someone, I'm not brave enough to tell him becuase I'm afraid he will think I'm pathetic because I'm so ugly and dare to love a pretty person like himself. I always feel ashamed of myself and I just wish I could hide my face.

Of all people, why must just I be so ugly? I don't need to be a beauty, if I just looked normal I would feel fine. But I do not look normal, so I do not feel fine, not at all. 

Jumla Jumla 18-21, F 125 Responses Mar 22, 2010

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Wow your story is so similar to mine! I feel for you I often feel jealous and not normal. But I realized if I keep feeling like I'm ugly I'm just gonna stay feeling that way! It's all about perspective I learned to change my outlook on life and feel so much better! Try finding what makes you happy and try not to focus on what doesn't. This world unfortunately so focused on looks they miss out on great people but beauty really does fade but the happiness you have inside you won't.❤️

I'm ugly too but I don't let that stop me from having fun.

Even I also feel that I am ugly. But then, I remember that, some people are ugly by appearance, some people are ugly by heart.

I can sympathise with you. I myself have considered that I was an ugly duckling, and from my experience I still have some of that deep seeded insecurities until this day, I lost the man I loved because of those problems and his point was I needed to trust and believe in myself not what I perceive in how someone sees me on the outside. It was the hardest lesson learned and was a big gamble for me in which I lost big I lost him. Don't make the same mistake. I myself was not popular in school until my mum pointed out do I want to be like everyone else, and so I took a different path and it worked for me and I became popular not with my looks but my achievements, I changed my whole out look and became quite bubbly and I never had problems in drawing people to me my personality and character had become strong but inside I have bouts of times that I feel down because I think I am not good enough or outstanding enough in looks. But their just my personal demons not others. " beauty is in the eyes of the beholder ", yes we are all visual creatures but there are far more Important things, that can't be replace by looks and that's what is in the inside of you let that shine through. And remember looks fade over time and what will remain is personality and character and that's what, who ever shares your life will have. My best wishes to you.

ur unique and thats why our creator made you one like that coz he knows ur beautiful in another way

I am ugly too.... Or at least my wife thinks so...she implies that I am ugly and she loves me too... I don't think I should be thankful for it. I don't want my wife to be someone who makes a sacrifice to love me... I just want my wife to be someone who loves to love me... I should have married someone who is as good/bad looking as me 😔

Your husband must be lucky

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Honestly, who cares? I've never seen you so I don't know if you're ugly or not, but there are so many other things in life than being pretty or ugly. You probably have an awesome personality and many talents, all which will get you much farther in life than being pretty. I know that the right guy will come along and fall for you because of this, and see how beautiful you are in your own right :-). If you are confident of your talents and personality, you will appear much prettier to people and people will admire you. Stay strong :-D

I really wish to help yuh but im too weak, just like yuh!!!! :-( :'(

i am 23 yrs old, my head is big & my cheek is big too & i never had a girlfriend but when i was in elementary & high school i met alot of pretty girls who like me, but for me who always self centered i never realize that i should try and get a girlfriend while i am still a teenager, but it was too late when i realize it, My hair starts falling when i become an adult and i gained to much weight because i am too busy studying in college and i never had time in sports and exercise like i always do when i was a teen. Now i am very lonely, with my mess up hair, fat body, Big Head & big cheek, my wish to have a girlfriend is complicated

Honestly go to a rub and tug. It'll boost you up

I'm 40, overweight, short. I just went through a divorce from the only woman who ever looked at me. I didn't want the divorce. She did. I have tried about 1/2 a dozen dating sites to no avail. I'm very very lonely and very very depressed. I can't help the way I was born. I didn't choose to be a fat ugly little toad. I met my wife when I was 27. Never had a girlfriend before her. Never dated much before her. Always got turned down. Never went to a high school dance. There was no point. So what does a man do when no one wants him? All I want is one more chance at happiness.

I'm ugly, too, but remember that the most valued beauty by a sincere and honest man is the beauty within, not so much of the physical one- you are lucky if you have the beauty within...because I lack that. Because of that, I've never had a true friend, and yet the least a boyfriend, and all because I am antisocial, and not pretty attractive... Heck, once my history teacher had asked, when she was arriving at the classroom while some of my classmates and I were waiting outside, "Where are all my girls?....Oh, there is one.." She had noticed me only after she saw my face... And later that day in that class, all the girls in my class, except for one other girl, reported to the teacher that they were going to be going to be participating in this school event, that they weren't going to be there next time, so the girl that wasn't going to the event, who sat right behind me, said "So I'm going to be the only girl here?!".... I felt pretty irritated by then until she realized I was sitting in front of her.... But to be honest, I think I'm getting used to be considered a boy rather than a girl as similar experiences have happened all throughout my life... So all I'll be single for the rest of it. =)

LISTEN UP, GOD, MADE US ALL AND IF IT THE GOOD LORD'S WILL, YOUR SOULMATE WILL FIND YOU! I DONT CARE HOW A PERSON LOOK OUTSIDE BECAUSE BEAUTY IS SKIN DEEP! WE ARE ALL CREATED BY THE SAME CREATOR, AND GOD, CAN ONLY JUDGE US! WHEN SOMEONE SAY THINGS TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD, ITS BECAUSE THEY'RE MISERSABLE AND MISERY LOVE GREAT COMPANY! I AM WHEELCHAIR BOUND AND I'VE HAD PEOPLE CLL ME SLOW, RETARDED AND EVEN THINK I'M SLOW...BELIEVE ME, WE HAVE PEOPLE OUT HERE WITH WORST PROBLEM THAN WE HAVE RIGHT NOW AS I SPEAK. WHEN YOUR DONE READING THIS MESSAGE , TAKE A MOMENT TO PRAY FOR C
"CANCER PATIENT" DYALISIS PATIENTS" AND ALL DISABLED PEOPLE!

YOUR ******* GOD DOESN'T EXIST !!!!!

You think your life been miserable. I have lost my job because I went off (vocal not physical) on a supervisor for make a remark of how ugly I was. There’s a limit of what a person can take before the lid blow off. I went to a new high school, met a friend. He introduced me to some of his friends and the first thing that came out of one his friend’s mouth was,” how ugly I was”, then everyone else laughed. I shrug it off, but it set a stage of want was about to come the rest of my life. I was called a few more times in high school, because of this, I never went to school dances or any parties. I didn’t date in high school at all because of those remarks. Every time I got my confidence back, there was always someone out there to take it away. So, don’t tell someone, “You need confidence”. (This part is for the females out there only. When your boyfriend walks up to a person and tells them that their ugly. Don’t say to him be nice, walk out on him. . That is the worst thing you can say because, you’re indirectly confirming what he said. You know what kind of person he is now so why don’t you walk out on him). You people don’t keep saying on these web-sites “what’s inside that count” because it not). I’m now 50 and alone now. Hoping the world will end because if I have to go, I want everyone to come with me. / To Smileymiley7 - what a great combination ugly and miserable but you got your health- get real!!!

Practice your smile love. Learn to accept yourself, you are here for a reason and a true smile is the most beautiful way to win someone's heart. When you have that confidence in your heart, your eyes will sparkle and you will be attractive inside and out. :)<br />
Also, do good things. Volunteer, work your *** off, write, paint, spend time with family(or not, if they aren't nice to you), SPEND TIME WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE. Go on a vacation go to the spa. :)

Everyone is beautiful in their own way. I was like you at one time. I saw beauty in every person I saw but not in myself. It was really hard when I never was asked to dances, or on dates. I was always turned down when I asked. However I found that there are some guys that will fall in love with who you are, and not what you look like. I still feel ugly every day, but my husband tells me that I am cute to him, and that is all I care about now. You'll find your match, but just because you have a lot of no's, don't take yourself off the market. Someone will recognize you for who you really are, and will sweep you up off your feet thinking only about how lucky they are to get you.

You are basing all of your self worth on your appearance. unfortunately this is something young generations of girls(myself included) have learnt to do through advertising and the unrealistic portrayal of beauty in the media. There is no set image of what is beautiful. If you can learn to ba<x>se your self worth on other traits you have, such as intelligence, kindness, your sense of humor, you will realise in time you have much more to give and in turn are worth more than just your appearance. The love thing will come in time when you feel more confident with who you are as a person, be patient, and enjoy your life. you are unique and irreplaceable. x

Yep, I always thought I was ugly, but knew I had a good personality. I was smart, nice, funny, etc. I still think I'm ugly too, but my fiancee thinks I'm awesome and pretty, but awesome first. Being confident in who you are on the inside goes a long way.

You are only as ugly as you think you are. Beauty only last for what... fourty years then what? - you're left with only personality. That's why I think men are stupid when it comes to choosing girls because all they care about is the face and the body but in the end they are left with a personality worth hating. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND I DONT KNOW YOU BUT I LOVE YOU

:( you know, there is a type of sickness that causes people to think they look warped and hideous, but they truthfully look normal. You may or may not had this. But I'm sure that you are beautiful bu everyone elses eyes! Its just the truth that the person who is most critical of anyone is themselves. You may see little 'faults' in yourself, but no one else does. Your outer image reflects the inside image of yourself. If you learn to love yourself the way you are, your spirit will be beautiful, making your outside just as beautiful. Love yourself, love others, and love your life! :D

You can't be ugly. Your words already show that you are a beautiful person. We all feel this way at times. Believe me , when you get older you get more comfortable with the real you .

Dont believe it, until I see a picture.<br />
Come on...You cannot be serious!<br />
I think, it hasn´t to do with you face, body and hair...its just your mind, that let you think, you could be ugly.

Don't worry - you're not the only one going through this ;)<br />
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I come from a family where being extremely attractive is the norm. My father, mother, aunts, uncles, cousins and sister all score at least a seven or higher on an attractiveness scale. I however, was not born with this fortune. When I go out with my sister, everyone generally pays attention to her. Guys wolf whistle, and I notice them checking her out. None of this is directed at me. When I'm out alone, or with friends, none of this happens.<br />
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Several people have asked me why I'm ugly when my sister is so beautiful. It used to hurt, a lot. I always used to feel down on myself, because I knew that no matter what I did, I could at least remotely attractive, let alone beautiful. I'm 21, and I've only had one guy ever pay attention to me. We dated for about 8 months, then broke up. My younger sister, on the other hand, has already had many people profess their attraction to her - once she had 5 guys going after her at the same time!<br />
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I guess when I realized that I was never going to be as beautiful as my sis, I decided I wasn't going to spend my entire life moping. I didn't want to be that person who was always crying about how sad their life was. For a long time I was angry about my looks, wondering why I had to be the ugly one. I just chalked it up to genetics - it wasn't anyone's fault, and I wasn't being punished for anything - it was just the cold, hard sum of genetics, and it would be a waste of my time to complain about something i couldn't change.<br />
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Instead, I started focusing on things that i liked about myself. At first, the list was non-existant. I couldn't think of anything. But slowly I started coming up with things. I'm a good listener, can be quite funny, and am generally a good person. <br />
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I guess the point I'm trying to make is even if you are ugly, its not the end of the world. You can fall into self pity, and spend your time crying about how sad you feel, or you can just do things you enjoy. It doesn't help to wallow in pity - in the end it doesn't accomplish anything, and just makes you miserable. Sure, I might not win any beauty pageants, and guys won't notice me immediately, but hey, at least I'll enjoy my life. You only have one shot at life, and you might as well try and make the best damn time out of it. And if a guy likes me, and I like him back, well then, that's another interesting notch in my life.

That comment alone just lightened my day... Well night technically lol... And that was enough to judge that you are a beautiful, intellegent, and pleasant person! I'm that there are people like you in the world! :)

Calling yourself "ugly" only makes people think that they have the right to call you so as well. I really don't believe that people see you the same way you do: people know their own flaws the best, and so many others probably don't notice what you notice. I can tell you that I don't see myself in anyway how others do, and I believe that the same applies to you.<br />
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I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way though. :c

I have read things like this a lot of...but when they put pictures of theirselves to tell us how ugly they are i see that they have problem in their mind O.o<br />
im telling myself what ugly they see on their body or head... i think to send you pictures of me to see what ugly girl really is.... u havent seen big nose like my... all people telling me u have huge nose but i try to put a smile and dont cry...<br />
And you know what?<br />
u said that some boys loves u... U cant find any boy on this planet that loves me... <br />
BE HAPPY that there is someone who loves you... <3

I just have two or three comments, 1) from personal experience, women in particular are their own worst critics, and I've seen tons of women who pick on theirselves thinking they're too this or too that, when others think they're fine. Change your attitude, you (and we) are what we are. 2) teenagers are more sensitive to this than anybody else, your body is changing and it's a little unsettling to see this process, and understandably so. Let your body morph, it gets better 3) any guy who judges you only from your outward appearance is someone you don't want. Let them self eliminate themselves, you're better off. Accept the fact, too, that not everyone likes everyone, everybody has a preference, and you'll find your guy at some point, or he'll find you, be patient. You seem like a good person, and that's golden, be thankful. Hugs

One thing you DO have is a beautiful personality. The girls that are beautiful and know it, well... lets just say a lot of them have rotten souls. A LOT of girls who are beautiful think they can get by on beauty all their life when it is really a short lived commodity. About your older sister... does she take care of herself or does she let guys "help" her with things? Someday the beauty will be faded. <br />
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Personally, I think YOU will do just fine.

I promise it is like 90% just in your head. Look at all the ugly fat dudes who get smoking hot chicks just because they are funny and do stupid things. You just need confidence and not care about what you look like because that's who you are. Who would you choose someone who is beautiful, but always down and sad or someone less attractive with a awesome personality? Just accept the fact that others will be prettier and live your life. Once you love yourself others will see and be attracted to you too.

Ther is plastic surgery. Just aliitle change to the better will make you happier.

Please STOP calling yourself ugly...you need to know that your physical doesn't make up your total beauty...there are people who the world calls quote on quote UGLY and they have significant others, married, have kids, successful careers and etc. Your allowing the way that you feel about your own self, stop you from truly living your life. As far as your face, there are things you can do for it...if you want go and get surgery to try to correct some things or if not...accept that you had a disease, it's nothing to hate yourself over and walk in your true beauty because your definitely missing how beautiful you truly are. The fact that you've overcome your disease, your well and healthy and still here. Whatever hardships you've encountered in your life, you've made it through them because you're still here...it didn't kill you. Please work on your self-esteem and stop looking at your mother and sister and hating yourself because they're a part of you and your apart of them and you hating yourself is hating a part of them. You are BEAUTIFUL....

not to sound mean Jumla, you say you want a boyfriend but the guys that WERE into you you turned down. I dont know how unattractive they were but a "begger" cant be a chooser.(Im sorry but thats the best phrase I can come up with.) Try going for personality wise more heavily than looks :)

honey everyone is beuatiful in there own way, but i know exatly what ur going threw, i get bullied so much becuase i am ugly and u no what i just tell them to **** off, i get called: ugly, stupid, freak,monster, curly fri-cuz i have curly hair, greasy, tramp. people used to egg my house and wright on my gate and house heather is an ugly freak and stuff like that, i aint gna tell u what i did because of that and i have had that everyday for the past 3 years and it still carrys on honey, i bet u aint ugly i bet your beaustiful, just egnore the other people, i have never had a boy friend either so dont worry, you are one of gods creation and everything by him is beautiful!, so dont let it get you down stay strong and put your head up high! xoxo

I really believe you become what you believe yourself to be. Stop thinking your ugly, find the features you like about yourself, and concentrate on that. You need to see yourself pretty inside and out, before anyone else will see you that way. Good luck

I feel the same way about myself, because I am just disgusting and sloppy looking...and maybe it wouldn't be so bad, except that I'm a cheerleader and so there's extra pressure. Everyone refers to me as the ugly cheerleader, outcast cheerleader, etc. I think you and me though we make a differnce because we try harder than all of them. Maybe it will get better, and maybe it won't. Being pretentious and "lying" to yourself won't help until you prove to yourself how important and gorgeous you really are. But I think the important thing right now is to let it all out liek you are, and keep trying like you are, but most of all...set goals. That's what's been helping me. Telling myself that I think I am pretty felt like a hideous lie to me, but I know that I control what I eat, if I eat, what I think about when I work out, how I spend my time. Loving other people will help you love yourself too. <br />
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I'm 17 and I've had a few boyfriends, but that doesn't mean I'm pretty. It means I've let people take advantage of me and I believe I'm worse off for it. So don't let the whole boyfriend thing be what gets you down.<br />
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A lot of the people who want you to do cheesy stuff like "just smile" or whatever haven't been in the same place as us, so if it feels cheesy and impossible you're not alone. Don't worry I've been there. I hardly ever sleep because of how I feel and wake up at night crying because I'm so far from normal. <br />
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You're not alone. I hope you read this and I hope to talk more with you. So much love. <3

unfortunately it seems that being normal wont help you the only thing that will is being proud of your appearance and how you dont fit in with the crowd. be confident of yourself more than anybody else.never think that you're not enough and dont give up. because one day one day there will be a guy so unsuperficial that he recognises the true beauty standing right in front of him

from one ugly person to another, it never gets better only worst

I am unappealing to the opposite sex also. My mom is pretty, my dad isnt ugly but he has the features that would make an ugly child, prominent frontal bone and nose so I received those features, so youre not alone I am 23 and have never had a gf and what bothers me is I dont look normal, as you say, I just want to look normal. I would love to find a girl who is ugly like me but who is in shape, is there any way I can get to know you more?

I kinda feel you my mom is perfect she got blonde hair and green eyes and small nose and SHE IS PERFECT But my father is brown and got black hair and huge nose I look like him but with tanned skin i feel stupid i wish i looked like mom , and oh i got the round stupid face from him gosh i hate it .. XD

your father succeeded to get a perfect woman and you said you look like him so don't lose hope

Hey!You should always say: I may not be a beauty queen but noone can play the piano as well as I can..or noone can sing/dance/paint/cook..blablabla as well as me.There must be one thing you like about yourself. A talent maybe or something you've done and you're proud of. How people see you doesn't necessarilly have to do with your looks. People might think you're attractive because of the most amazing thing.I once liked a guy because he had a great deep voice. You don't have to enhance your appearence to feel better about youself.You can always boost your confidence and make people like you through the things you do.Take care!=)

growing up I was awkward and 'ugly' and my father would make remarks about the way I looked. I imagine a guy can get by if he's not as good looking as a woman, but still I felt very self conscious about the way I looked. I simply avoided mirrors. <br />
Then as I grew older I became better looking. Still, the view of myself as awkward and ugly stuck. Take my advice. Keep telling yourself you're not ugly and that you are worthy of love.. Tell it to yourself every day and drive the ugly tapes out of your head. It's that simple. Because, even though women find me attractive now, I never wiped out the 'ugly' tapes. It's that simple. Men will be attracted to your confidence and positive outlook.

not to be the resident cynic, but just telling 'im pretty' over and over again won't make you pretty. crooked teeth? recommend braces. fat? recommend the gym. Draw some knowledge from other women; I've seen INCREDIBLE improvements brought about by the right clothes, the right hairstile, and the right attitude. <br />
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Also, don't sweat the looks part: some of the sexiest most fascinating women I've been with don't conform to what we think of as beautiful.

Just one advice-<br />
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STEP UP-LOVE YOURSELF-ADMIRE YOURSELF-CHASE YOUR DREAM-LIVE LIFE THE RIGHT WAY-**** WHAT OTHERS THINK--THIS IS YOU!!! NOT THEY----REALISE THAT YOU ARE INCREDIBLE,CAPABLE OF DOING UNIMAGINABLE THINGS,HAVE TONS OF POTENTIAL.......SEE,IDENTIFY,ADMIRE AND CONGRATULATE YOURSELF FOR BEING YOU!<br />
<br />
LIFE IS HUGE...WE ARE HERE FOR A PURPOSE..FIND IT AND GET ON WITH IT........<br />
TRUST ME LOOKS DO NOTHING....AT THE END OF THE DAY ITS YOUR HEART AND MIND

As the old song went:<br />
If you want to be happy for the rest of your life,<br />
Don't you make a pretty woman your wife.<br />
From my particular point of view,<br />
Get an ugly girl to marry you.<br />
<br />
There is a lot of truth behind that. If a guy relies on his wealth and possessions, he should not be surprised to find that he attracts gold diggers who don't stay true, especially if he suffers a reversal of fortune.<br />
<br />
Beautiful women can attract lots of guys who are after spending some time in the sack with a cute girl, and sometimes they even marry them. But they often find that they are bored over time. No matter how pretty she is, when you look at the same face every day, it becomes just the same old face. And if she is stuckup or arrogant about her looks, he'll get really tired of her.<br />
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Moreover, looks fade in time. The woman is a raving beauty in her youth will begin to freak out when she hits 40. And shallow men, who married for their youthful looks, will often dump them.<br />
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Smile and be happy, you will find love in the right time, and be all the happier for it for not having gotten stuck with a shallow man at an early age. Be fun loving and humorous, and make the most of your intellect. It will happen for you.

I know a woman who is not a beauty queen to those who have never met her but once you meet her and get to know her you never notice her physical appearance because she is soooooo loving. Because of this, she is a very beautiful woman, in my opinion. The point I'm making is that part of being beautiful is your personality, your love for yourself and your love for others. This woman found a good husband to whom she was married for 50 years before he passed away.<br />
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If there are things about you that you don't like and have the ability to change, then change those things but if there are things you don't like but cannot change then do not focus on those. Focus on the good things about you. <br />
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Best Wishes!

27 yo here...just UGLY. never have a date, no REAL friends. they come to me when they need help! that's it. i'm just ignored EVERYWHERE. jealous sometime to see others having fun, but can't help! i've lose hair on my forehead and feel like pple are always talking about me...wish i was "good looking".

I don't know what you look like, but your personality seems great. If it helps, I would date you just for your personality :)

For every man there is a women and visa versa. You may think your face is ugly but you may have beautiful eyes and a beautiful personality which is very important when it comes to real beauty. If we all were deprived of our bodies and all we had was our thoughts and no body to judge anybody by then you would realize there are an enormous amount of beautiful people in this world. So the best way to combat your situation is to let people get to know you and if they feel you are ugly and walk away then you have won because nobody wants superficial people in their life.

Please don't feel this way.. I tell my daughters all the time "Beauty lasts a day, dumb is forever" Everyone who is beautiful on the outside, will eventually be trumped by someone more prettier, younger... but you my darling are beautiful becuase of your spirit. You are NOT ugly!! I totally agree with what another poster said "Each day wake up and tell yourself ' I m MARVELLOUS ' . It does work ..everyday . and SMILE ...that s what people notice . AT everyone . "

Hi Hope after U read some of the postive comments, U will feel better about yourself. Smile. Believe it or not, smiling or not smiling makes up most of what people think of as "attractive." If you think back on movies you've seen, which leading men really stood out as the handsome, attractive ones? Guaranteed, they got at least one big, genuine smile over to the audience during the film. Our brains are programmed to be attracted to smiles from the time we are infants, and it can do miracles toward putting that 'special something' into your otherwise unremarkable face. If people don't even remember what you look like, often, they will be able to recall your genuineMost of the time, people who feel that they are ugly shut themselves off from the rest of the world for fear that it will hurt them. In their opinion, the world's expected disapproval seems deserved. It is not. Most of the time, others only respond to a person as 'ugly' because that person responds to themselves as 'ugly.' grin or laugh.<br />
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You'd never walk up to a stranger and say, "Wow, look at how ugly you are!" So don't do it to yourself. Be polite to yourself, and offer to help that person in the mirror in any way that you can, to look better and to feel better about how they do look, and then actually do it! Common courtesy to yourself can go a long way toward breaking the image of 'ugly' in your mind.4Dress well, and groom as if you were going out, every day. This means wear the nice pants, iron your shirts, make your hair look as good as it will get. This may seem a tedious waste at first, since those who are convinced they're ugly are usually tempted to hide at home and never see anyone all day. When you get used to looking nice all day, you will begin to automatically think 'I look nice' as an automatic reaction, and you will interact with other people with confidence.5Keep it up. No matter how silly you feel at first, remember the steps: smile, be open to thinking of yourself as attractive, treat yourself as courteously and helpfully as you would a to stranger, and groom yourself well. Progress can come gradually, and it's only a fast-food mentality that says we have to have everything overnight.6Get a new hairstyle, wear some make-up, and treat yourself well. Change your look around, see which fits you best. A new haircut can do wonders in your confidence!<br />
Some of our favorite 'attractive' people really aren't very good looking! Some celebrities we see aren't really what an artist would call the paragon of beauty. Many are beautiful in non-classical ways. Above all, it's their attractive, delightful, energetic spirits that we love. Beauty is a laugh; it's not in the shape of an eyebrow, it's in how you USE that eyebrow. In fact, the most well-recalled people are usually remembered just as much for their unique facial features as they are for their good classic ones!<br />
Beauty is just as much of an illusion as ugliness is. Take the make-up off your favorite supermodel, and you'd be shocked to realize she looks just like you did in high school. Even if she doesn't, put her in some old unkempt clothes and make her think she's ugly, and you'd be amazed at the transformation; from supermodel to average in a day.<br />
Self-confidence is more attractive than physical beauty. Stand-up straight, hold your head up high, and look people in the eye. SMILE!<br />
Exercise. If you feel down and don't belong to a gym, take a 30-minute brisk walk. Sometimes a person will think that their situation is causing their unhappiness, when in actuality the feeling of unhappiness just latched onto something random. Regular exercise is as good as anti-depressants in raising one's mood and thus making you feel better overall, thus more likely to appreciate yourself rather than tearing yourself down.<br />
Remember that not all people find the same physical aspects attractive and the traits a person may find unattractive in themselves, other people may find beautiful. Also remember that a lot, if not most, people aren't looking for 'beauty' in their friends or mates. Hollywood and the media brainwash us to think too much in terms of beauty.<br />
Tell yourself that you are beautiful, and act beautiful and kind by your own standards.<br />
Remember, beauty is only skin deep. Don't change yourself to impress some one. The best thing to do is be who you are.<br />
Keep in mind, You and You Only are your own worst critic.<br />
When you develop confidence, you'll become a lot easier on yourself.<br />
Be who you are and you will always be happy!<br />
Avoid the superficial types of people who judge or choose others ba<x>sed on their appearance rather than on who they are as a person and what they have to offer the world.<br />
Best to you, <br />
<br />
PS, as U age, it won't matter so much to U, trust me

It's a sad fact that people are not equally attractive. Sorry that the situation makes you miserable.<br />
<br />
However, one comment you made could help:<br />
"I am 18 years old and I have never had a boyfriend. I'm not sure I will ever have one, because I never like those who likes me, and if I like someone, I'm not brave enough to tell him becuase I'm afraid he will think I'm pathetic because I'm so ugly and dare to love a pretty person like himself."<br />
<br />
You don't explain why you "don't like those who like you". Are they ugly in your eyes? Are they they sort of shy or socially awkward guys that girls shun and dismiss as "not my type"?<br />
<br />
Maybe you could lower your standards a bit and try out some of those who like you. If you're distressed that guys are judging you on your looks, look in yourself and see if you're guilty of the same. You may find a way to have happiness after all, just not with the popular jock.

listen to the voice of experience, kid...focus on having a profession, and being independent. That's the most important thing in the world. Don't worry about looks. They fade, they really do. Brains are everything in life.<br />
<br />
Besides, you wouldn't want a guy who just wants to get in your pants, or who just wants to parade you in front of his friends, like a trained poodle.

There are many people here saying kisses and basically hang in there etc... but I think we both know that there is an option which could alleviate some of your self consciousness and you don't need to try to convince yourself your ok with your appearance in order to get it done...you just need money.<br />
Have you considered cosmetic surgery? There are a lot of people who get this done for sheer vanity... and it seems you have a much more legitimate reason considering your medical history.<br />
Don't hate yourself because of the way you look thats not right but don't totally lose heart because people get their faces done every day. Make it happen honey.. you owe it to yourself. And this is too important to ignore you simply can't afford to sit back and wallow in self pity mopping up your tears with the on tap sympathy you'll find in places like this and then still be miserable about it for life. Make it happen.<br />
<br />
For the cost of a new car you could probably get quite a bit done and that is money well spent... a car will be worth half what you payed in 2 or 3 years, your face..... thats for life.

It such an old saying that true beauty comes from within. Have you ever noticed how shallow people are that think they have it all.That the world revolves around them.Its all about looks to them. The way we perceive ourselves is not how others may see us. I bet you have alot of talents that have not been brought out because your always thinking of how you look.Try to get involved in something positive.Focus on what you have going for you. I bet it's alot . If you have to get someone to teach you how to apply makeup to bring out your best features. It might give your self esteem a boost. To me I don't even know you but you are beautiful and unique. I knew a woman who thought she was so pretty and let everyone else know it. Then she had an accident that distorted her face.She had for so long just lived on her looks and not what she had within she became depressed and would not go out. Don't rely on looks it' a fading flower.

I am sorry that you feel this way. I consider myself pretty and I am now having my first serious relationship at 25.. so you are not alone. There are still a few good men out there LOL but they are difficult to find, it'll happen when u least expect it. It is not all about looks- personality, and knowing what you want, play into finding a relationship as well. Not telling you what to do but I have learned some things in life- you only get back what you put out there. If you do not feel confident, or at least appear to be friendly and want some sort of relationship, probably no one will give that to you. Also, just for me I would not want to be w/ a man who did not think I was beautiful.. I would want to be w/ someone I am good enough for and who accepts me. We can only do the best w/ what god gave us.. which is why I wear padded bras hehe.

Hey darl! you are not ugly, true beauty is from within. One day soon you will find someone special that will love you for who you are. I also feel ugly to the point where I am embarrased to mix with people sometimes, for a while now I have developed a if you dont like it dont look attitude and will not let anyone hold me back. A pretty face only hardly means much, remeber that

Ah don't worry about it, there's always some guy who'll fancy you. <br />
<br />
Anyway you're only a kid so give it some time for your looks to develop. You're lucky you're a girl and can use make-up tricks, at least.

u know wat just start by having a positive attitude towards urself coz if u dont love urself noone will love u back.............trust me its true so good luck in that :)

WOW! SPEECHLESS...........:)

YOUR STORY MAKE ME CRY IT'S LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE ME ,MY MUM IS GOOD LOOKING MY DAD UGLY IT'S HAPPEN I HAVE THE FACE OF MY DAD AS WELL BUT THANKS GOD I GOT THE HOTTEST BODY IN TOWN.BUT THAT'S NOT ENOUGH I REMENBER MY FIRST NOSE SURGERY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIVE I FEEL FREE AND PEOPLE START TREATING ME LIKE A STAR I FEEL SO GOOD ABOUT ME I HAD MY LIPS DONE AS WELL CAUSE I HAD BIG LARGE NOSE AND BIG LIPS.AFTER MY LIPS SUGERY EVERYTHING START FAILLING APART I LOOKS WORST THEN BEFORE I TOUGHT IF I HAD MY NOSE REDONE AND AN EYESLID SURGERY I WILL LOOK BETTER ,NOW ALL I DO IS LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE MONKEY I FEEL SO BAD SO MANY TIME I THINK ABOUT SUICIDE BUT I GOT 3 KIDS I GOT TO TAKE CARE FOR .SO ALL I DO NOW IT'S TRY TO NOT LOOK AT ME IN A MIRROR FOR TOO LONG AND DON'T THINK ABOUT IT.

'ugliness' does not exist, looks are ba<x>sed on perception, you may believe yourself to be ugly, so might the next person, but I guarantee that there are plenty of people out there who will see you as beautiful. You are a beautiful person on the inside, and that beauty will radiate from you. Here's a trick i like to use: fake confidence and you already become 100% more attractive, it all starts with yourself. I know you will find someone to love, who will love you just as much, if not more. <br />
Have faith :)<br />
xx

I'm sorry you feel this way and you should never feel like you're not beautiful. I'm not sure of your financial position but you can always consider having some work done. No one is born perfect but there are things that can boost your confidence like chin and nose augmentation and braces or invisilign to fix a misaligned smile. I'm not saying you need anything done and a lot of people may disagree with me on this but if it helps you feel better, it's there. There are many people out there that feel the way you do and you should always love yourself, despite others' perception of your physical appearance. But, of course, if you believe having different facial features will make you happier then you should do it! And if you can't afford it at the moment, start working a consistent job then you could get approved for financing that certain plastic surgeons accept like CareCredit. Keep your head up girl, you're beautiful on the inside and that's what really matters <3

I know when you read the comments, you think its the same thing over and over again - inner beauty, confidence, personality - but I want you to understand that if you think beauty is important, then these are even more important. I'll share my story where I found out the painful way.<br />
<br />
I am the ugly daughter of a very beautiful woman too. I was born a beautiful child, then my looks crashed when I turned 13. I became fat, my skin cracked into acne, my lovely hair started to fall out, ungainly teeth appeared, I developed a severe form of keratinosis pilaris (genetic pigmentation) across my arms, legs and back (thank god my face was spared). I was really ugly. My family is good looking so they were stunned at what happened but they werent unkind. But I still had to face abuse, snide comments about my *** throughout high school and college. Not a single guy would look at me. <br />
I started to obsess about my looks. My mother told me that if I had been beautiful once, I will be again - I believed her. It became an obsession. I bought every cream, every shampoo, every dress, every dye to "help";I cut down on eating. I turned from an intelligent funny girl to a self-absorbed anorexic bimbo. It worked to an extent. I turned moderately acceptable again. After all the terrible loneliness, I thought I was closer to finding that someone now. <br />
<br />
And now comes the terrible irony. I did meet wonderful guys who were interested in me. But the interest faded when they realised that I - was ultimately a boring person. That I dont have any interest apart from finding the right shade of foundation. <br />
<br />
I was horrified at this self-realization -that I had changed myself to be a non-entity, that I hadnt spent more time in loving me, getting to know who I was and not worry about how I looked like. Indeed, how can anyone else love you when you dont love yourself and you change yourself. <br />
<br />
So, all that inner beauty personality confidence crap? Its EXTREMELY TRUE AND IMPORTANT.<br />
<br />
I see you're making the same mistakes that I am. Please dont. Focus on loving yourself - you are the bestest friend you can have. <br />
<br />
Now, my looks are all that I am - not that Im gorgeous. Im now 'cute' but as single as I had been when I was 'ugly'. A hollow shell, incapable of interacting with human beings normally, incapable of holding the interest of sensible intelligent loving men.

You are not ugly but a beautiful child of God. Jesus will reward you for the pain you're going through and im sure in heaven youll look prettier than all these supermodels then theyll go without for a change. Im ugly too i have a deformed nose and crooked teeth i want to die why am i so rejected and forgotten by god

GOD LOVES UGLY!

There are many people out there who feel they are the ugly duckling when they were younger. I, too, felt this way. But as you grow older, someone who feels they are the ugly duckling, blossoms into someone more beautiful as years go by. I wouldn't say I'm beautiful by any means, but I've grown into myself, and am feeling more comfortable with how I look.<br />
<br />
There is a girl that I work with, and I would guess her to be in her late 30s. She has an actual face deformity, her jaw is not shaped properly. I don't know her well, nor do I know her story, but I do know that she exudes confidence, and has a beautiful spirit. She is married, her husband is rather handsome, and has two little boys. In my eyes, she is the example of someone who is loved for ALL that she is....not just the way she looks. <br />
<br />
Allow your entire self to shine through. Give yourself time to grow, and mature, and learn, and shine. At the right time, the right person will come along and will love you because of all that you are!

Okay, stop saying your ugly! I always thought I was ugly because I had acne, glasses, and bad clothes, but I now know that beauty comes from the inside, not the outside.

Seeing posts like this really makes me sad. Listen, I have grown up with self esteem issues myself throughout my life, I have always believed myself to be just unattractive but by meeting a group of good friends I developed a bit more confidence in myself. People perceive you for the person that you are at the end of the day. People tend to go from the vibe that they get from you and if you are a fun person to be around, people will become interested.<br />
<br />
Chin up love. You'll be alright. People always find what they are looking for. It just takes time, some good friends and a whole lot of trial and error. Happy holidays.

you have no idea how beautiful you are, you dont know youre. potential

You sound just like me, and believe me, I feel your pain. I hope that you find what you are looking for someday. Everybody deserves to be loved, but everybody also deserves to be loved by someone that they love. That is why you must continue, no matter how hard it is, to look. It is very difficult, I know. You can't pretend to be happy with who you are if you really are not. All you can do is try not to think about it and focus on other projects until what you are looking for comes along. Finally, remember that you are your own worst critic. If you are like me, you know that there are aspects of your looks that you are unhappy with and will never get over them. Look at yourself through somebody else's eyes. Show off your positive qualities, people will take notice. I know how much you hurt, I am the same. All I can do is say that you are still young, and you are not alone. It isn't too late for you. Don't let this destroy you like it destroyed me.

I wish all these would stop one day. We ugly do not need to hear from you "normal" reasonable better looking people, that looks are unnimportant, they just are yu just happen to be unnaware of what it is like to be discriminated , every f...k waking momento of your life

Just because you have not found someone yet doesn't mean you won't. I'm one of the most unattractive people I know - fat, ugly face, 200+ pound body, flabby skin, fat thighs, belly rolls, etc. By no means a good-looking person. I got my first boyfriend at 17, and I had at least six guys ask me out in college (and only one of them was a big fellow - the others were normal-sized or a slight bit chubby).<br />
<br />
Trust me, there is someone for everyone. Besides, a lot of men tend to ba<x>se what they want on appearance alone, and this means they are only interested in your appearance - not you as a person. By not being a beauty by current social standards, you automatically weed out all the ****** who will judge you ba<x>sed on your looks and will have better access to the fellows (or ladies - whichever you prefer) who are more likely to be interested in you as a person. And remember, beauty is all up to who you ask - what one person finds attractive, another will not.<br />
<br />
And I attribute my lousy looks to my family...everyone on my mom's side came from Ukraine, the apparent land of stout women. All the women on the maternal side of the family are of slightly below-average height, have big bellies, thighs, butts, legs and chests. Aside from the large female frontal endowments, I have all those things.

I am a 42 year old single female. Since I can remember my physical appearance has dominated my life. I can only remember depression and shame about being very ugly from a very young age, and this would have devastating consequences on all aspects of my life, socially, self confidence and even academic performance. I now realise that if I had the right guidance I am sure I would be able to make the most of myself. Unfortunately, I never married nor have had a serious relationship with a man, even though I have always been complimented on my nature and ability to get along with people and project a very happy disposition.<br />
My only advice to young people out there is seek help, things really arent as bad as you seem! Yes, while it is true that physical beauty does give an unfair advantage in life, at the end of the day, personality does win people over in the longer term. Also just because someone is not classically beautiful, it doesnt mean that they dont deserve happiness and to enjoy life to the fullest.<br />
My situation was not really addressed to the extent it should have been, and now I find myself alone at an advanced age with only painful memories and a feeling of unfulfillment in life, sadly my depression had lead me to a bad place in life. I urge anyone to seek any assistance possible, I now believe it is possible to overcome, trust me, the alternative can bring a bleak future....

I didn't get to read all the comments so please forgive me if I am repeating what you have already heard. <br />
<br />
What you focus on expands. If every time you look in the mirror you find fault, the next time you look you will find new faults. Here is a practical exercise that will not only change the perception you have of your appearance, but it will literally change everyone else's perception too. It is true that others reflect back to us, what we think and believe about ourselves. Some believe, including me, that your appearance itself will change. My mother had a nose with a sort of ball tip at the end. She rubbed her nose as if she was smoothing out the bump, in the mirror. Eventually, when she wasn't in the mirror, she would find herself rubbing her nose. Later, she discovered she had actually changed the shape of her nose. No plastic surgery. Just in not judging her nose but being clear about what she wanted. I digress.....<br />
<br />
This will be difficult at first, but please, if you really want change, commit to this process religiously for at least 30 days:<br />
<br />
Pick a time of day, not necessarily a specific time but a sequence time like before bed, after my shower, after dinner, etc... Once a day at least. Sit in front of the mirror. Your assignment is to find something about your appearance that you like. Focus on that for 5 minutes. Set an egg timer or your alarm on your cell phone. Be consistent. It could be your complexion, your bottom row of teeth, your eye color, your eye brows and/or lashes, your cheek bones, your ears, your neck.... you get the idea. You are not to focus on anything you do not like. Only what you like. Say to yourself, " I love my long, beautiful lashes... or short thick lashes...or sparse, firty, uneven lashes, etc..." Let it resonate in your being with the feeling of love by taking a moment to close your eyes and hold the feeling. Then repeat. At first, it can be just one attribute. Then it can grow to two or even ten. Do not alter this assignment. Do not criticize yourself. Tell yourself that God is waiting for you to find and hold on to the good, before He can bless you with more good. If that works for you, use it, but if not... just do the assignment. This simple exercise will be tough at first, because you have created a story for yourself... a dialog tape in your mind full of negative perception. You CAN overcome it and you MUST! I promise you, if you do this for yourself, much more than yours and other's perception of your looks will change in your life for the better. Sooo much more. <br />
<br />
After the 30 days, you will have a much better perception of yourself. You will have a new dialog tape running in your mind that is kind and loving. At that point, you are ready to look at what you like less about your face and do as my mother did..... massage it into the shape you want. It's important not to criticize it. At this stage, you will be ready to love yourself and make changes with no time fr<x>ame in mind, no sense of urgency, only of allowing. You will not think of fixing anything, only making small adjustments, like an artist painting a picture.... no negative judgments, just creativity.... You are not ready for this stage yet, but you will be. You may be tempted to skip the first assignment and that would be a big mistake. It will cause you to quit because it won't work.<br />
<br />
I will love to hear your results, after you've practiced the steps of the first assignment for 30 days. You are a marvelous gift of life. If only you knew....

Oh well, I guess the link paste didn't work either! Shoot! It would have been great! Anyway, do look at this painting. It cannot help but inspire you. I know it inspires me every time I do.

To inspire you, I am trying to paste an image of a painting that is considered by many to be one of the most beautiful and influential pieces of art ever created. I didn't succeed, so here's the link to it:<br />
<br />
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://christineparkdesign.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/vangogh-starry_night_ballance1.jpg&imgrefurl=http://practicalpages.wordpress.com/2010/02/13/van-gogh-starry-night-art-appreciation/&h=1500&w=1879&sz=1889&tbnid=s6MRa7oiN8EuKM:&tbnh=120&tbnw=150&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dvan%2Bgogh&zoom=1&q=van+gogh&hl=en&usg=__YaCYkCV25Mvah2ZZINHGie2L8j0=&sa=X&ei=ajuWTIP3LYyosAOlyuXkCQ&sqi=2&ved=0CCoQ9QEwAA<br />
<br />
It's Van Gogh's Starry Night. Kindly notice the absence of a single straight line. Notice the incredible intricacy in the random-yet-not painting style (I am not versed in the language of describing paintings, so bear with me). Notice how dark the painting is - how apparently sinister - and yet the incredible feeling it evokes. <br />
<br />
This, sister - is crookedness at its best! How is it anything but beautiful?

Your posting broke my heart - I hope there is something that I can offer here that might make a difference in your thinking about your situation. First, our society places a huge, unfair, and disproportionate emphasis on appearances. Second, at this time of life - teens to mid-twenties, men and women alike, tend to place greater emphasis on looks. So of course your situation might seem grim.<br />
<br />
But. . . in all fairness, you are speaking as a person who has for many years felt as you do - only without the same physical appearance that you depict for yourself. <br />
<br />
What if you were to hear, from someone not having your appearance - someone say, who was not gorgeous - but who, at age 18 was considered at least attractive by most of her male friends - but who never felt she looked good - that the same thing happens to most women at certain times of life?<br />
<br />
I didn't have a date until I was 16. No joke. My friends were dating at 13, and I thought I was totally defective because no boys showed an apparent interest in me (only years later did I discover they were actually too shy to have approached me - but did that make the pain any easier to bear at the time? No.). I so desperately wanted to know what male companionship could feel like - just to hold hands or to have experienced a kiss - but had to wait for years to have those experiences. (My first sexual encounter was a rape. There you go. Male-female relations are far from rosy for many women).<br />
<br />
I know what I am saying may not remove any sting you may feel about how you think you appear (we all believe that our faces are somewhat crooked, boobs too big or small - I am not disbelieving your discontent with your appearance - but also, I know for a fact that some of the most beautiful people I know have some amazing physical imperfections!) but about the dating/companionship thing: please, take it from a woman who would not be described the way you describe yourself, that the same exact frustrations apply to many, many women - at all ages and stages of life. Quite frankly, the task of connecting on a heart-to-heart level - whether intensely or even just casually - is not an easy undertaking. In fact, I am 43 years old and I can count the number of times on one hand (more like one finger) that I was swept off my feet. I am married and my husband never swept me off my feet. (I didn't get married until age 39 - how defective do you think I felt in my 20's and 30s? I felt like crap about myself because it seemed that I was fatally flawed. And Yes, I did seek psych counseling to cope with rape trauma, etc., and all that. I was ready for committment, but nothing was coming up for me).<br />
<br />
Know that you have much in common with the women who you call beautiful. Your eyes glow, do they not, when you are happy. Your skin looks more luminous when you smile, does it not? Kindness gives a warmth to a face that is missing from abruptness or rudeness. These qualities matter. There is a graciousness that human beings wear about themselves, that comes from their inner qualities. And those inner qualities can decimate the appearance of the most beautiful woman or make the most average or self-proclaimed ugly woman beautiful.<br />
<br />
If you engage in the activities that you love - if you go out and seize every moment of life as the great potential for joy that it is - I guarantee that regardless of everything else - every appearance or challenge that may stand in your way - you will feel happier, more radiant, and more joyful, than to look at the coupled stereotypes and assume that they represent joy. Joy is something you feel within - and yes, it is possible to lose your sense of separation by doing the things that you feel passionate about. And that is also when you find the people - friends, lovers - that are appropriate and good for you. You'd be surprised that the joy doesn't necessarily involve romantic partnering.<br />
<br />
And you'd be surprised how much beauty there is all wrapped up in you. How could it be otherwise? There is no ugliness in a human being - there is simply glorious, perfect imperfection. For all of us.<br />
<br />
I send you a great big hug and hope that this helps in any way.

I wish you believed the truth and you could see yourself the way that God sees you.<br />
<br />
Psalm 139: 13-16<br />
<br />
13 For you created my inmost being; <br />
you knit me together in my mother's womb. <br />
<br />
14 I praise you because I am fearfully ('fearfully' could more correctly be translated as 'Honourably') and wonderfully made; <br />
your works are wonderful, <br />
I know that full well. <br />
<br />
15 My fr<x>ame was not hidden from you <br />
when I was made in the secret place. <br />
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, <br />
<br />
16 your eyes saw my unformed body. <br />
All the days ordained for me <br />
were written in your book <br />
before one of them came to be.

nobody is truly ugly, people have different tastes. I'm not going to be all "love your body" on you, I will say though, that the girls who are pretty now, wont be in a few years, and when you get everything you want by being pretty, you don't learn it the hard way, like you are forced to, and sadly, those girls turn into boring, boring people who men don't enjoy being around. <br />
there is the other kind of girl to. this girl is strong from the hard times, and has learned to get everything by herself. when eventually everyone is losing their looks, the former beauty queens will be left defenseless, and you will still have those important parts of yourself that are so rare to come across in a woman who was once beautiful. <br />
have you ever heard the song Seventeen? its exactly what I'm trying to tell you. its high school, when people are cruelly judged by first impressions, and instantly put into categories. when it is over, it will all mean nothing. meanwhile, that man you were meant to be with will find you, and he will love even the aspects of your personality that you hate.

What you can do is do your best to develop your personality, career etc. Someone does not have to be pretty to be successful and happy. <br />
I believer if your personality really shines, people will like you and be more comfortable around you more than around other pretty people who are arrogant.<br />
Please believe that there are many guys out there who are mature enough to look for a girl who is very kind, not only based on appearance.<br />
And your features might change slightly in the future as your bones grow more (I do not look totally the same like when I was teenager. 21 now.)<br />
Have your days filled with positivity and love to others, you will find the real meaning in your life.

This is a reply to "mongoloid" who says Jumla deserves her fate: not all the responses were as unenlightened as you claim, and certainly not as unenlightened as yours. I never said Jumla was beautiful inside, nor did I imply that she was not really as "differently visaged" as she claims. <br />
<br />
You have a point that people judge others on their looks, but as a person of much experience I can tell you that most of such people are young and inexperienced or, frankly, not the kind of people one wants as friends/lovers. I judge people--no bullcrap here--on what I see in their eyes, and the kind of energy they give off. It takes me AT LEAST several minutes to decide whether someone is worth my time--I don't make snap judgments based on facial features or body mass.<br />
<br />
You also have a point when you say that one who insists on an outwardly beautiful mate despite one's own flaws deserves to be alone--but Jumla did not say she was rejecting these boys because they were ugly! <br />
<br />
As for Jumla's personality being too ugly to attract anyone good, you don't know anything about her except that she is sad that she is being judged on her looks--even though it may be true that people with ugly personalities can't seem to find a suitable mate. <br />
<br />
You and I do agree that it is important to develop oneself into a worthy human being that can outshine physical appearance alone--whether one fits the barbie-and-ken model or not. But I just wasn't as rude and cruel in communicating it. I really hope you are someday able to develop your personality to the point where you can accept yourself and others enough to not project your unhappiness onto others.

s-b, your post intrigued me so I looked up Mongoloid's. While he's harsh and undiplomatic, he's close to spot on. You're correct that Jumla didn't explain why she wasn't attracted to the boys that like her. But her post reads like a miserable wanna-be popular girl who judges guys just as she resents being judged herself.

I think you both generally agree on that assessment, just you would withhold judgement until Jumla got a chance to explain her comments. Fair enough, but this is EP...lacking explanation people are going to make assumptions.

You are not ugly

I understand that so far in life, not fitting the common standard of beauty has been very difficult on you. Children and even ignorant adults can be cruel because of their own insecurities. Many have commented on your post that the world will see you as you see yourself, and that is true. But I want to offer you hope. I am not an unusual person, I consider myself fairly average. People say I am good-looking. I have loved many people and I must say that not one of them has been what this society calls attractive, physically. I see beyond a person's appearance to what's beautiful in them. I am not the only one! I know many people whose partners would be considered downright ugly, but to them, their partner is beautiful because of what they have to offer as a loving human being. I dated one person who is so unusual looking that people stare. We are broken up now but I still love them and appreciate their quirky ways and musical talent. We are good friends. Being good-looking is "bait." It draws people in, but there must be something there worth having. Many beautiful people think that they don't need to offer anything other than looks. So when the novelty of beauty wears off, they are left alone. My daughter is stunning with a perfect figure, and it is often a curse because men are only interested in her for her looks, when she is a brilliant, talented, artistic and capable person. She could have had any man she wanted, but she is now married to a guy who looks like Dopey of the 7 Dwarfs because he was willing to look past her beauty to who she really is. Develop your talents! Become loving and accepting of yourself, and you will find that you are loving and accepting of others. This will radiate from you and attract loving people into your life. I once saw a woman in a store who had a disease where the bones of her skull grew thick and misshapen. Many would say she looked like a monster. But there was such a sweet peace and kindness radiating from her that I felt compelled to tell her how beautiful she was. Develop your light and let it shine, and I PROMISE you your life will be full of love.

Why does your appearance matter so much? Who gives a **** if someone thinks you're ugly, who are they? Punch them in the throat! Don't let the bastards get you down. Let everyone know that you are a ******* awesome person, regardless of whether or not you meet some douchebag's personal standard of beauty.<br />
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Don't you ever let others determine your worth.

Being lovely isn't everything . Be who you are my friend becuase those who mind don't matter and those who matter wont mind. just live the way you want to live if your going to listen to what other people say you'll never live your life the way you want. i already said this line to an other story but i'm going to say it again here for you . If you want to talk about it or you have anything you need to share with anyone your welcomed to contact me dear . And just like soggycardboard said , smile , this way your brighten your day and mine =)

Hey there Jumla, I wish there was something I could do to help. All I can say is that at some point, you've gotta accept who you are and keep moving forward. I know it ain't easy, but heck you've gotta do it. Honestly, theres no point living each day, each breath in misery due to unfortunate circumstances. <br />
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I know that sometimes you question these circumstances: "Why me out of all people? What have I done to deserve this?" Believe me, I've been there. I suppose that the best thing for you right now would be to live your life to the fullest; achieve something extraordinary. For all we know, perhaps the reason you haven't found your Mr. Right is because you've got a purpose to fulfill before Mr. Right comes knocking at your door. <br />
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I mean, who cares what others think? Don't let the negative thoughts of others affect how you live. Remember that no one can make you feel inferior without your permission. Start loving yourself, and accepting the circumstances you have been bestowed with and you feel a great burden lifted from your shoulders.<br />
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Well, I hope this helps.

So your mother was beautiful. And you say you're ugly and you got your father's face, so I'm assuming you think your father is ugly?<br />
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Well think of it this way. Your mother, a gorgeous woman, fell in love with your father, who you said was rather ugly. Love is possible for you. If your father could do it, so can you.<br />
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So some guys have liked you. See? It's possible that love can happen to you. Try giving them a chance, see how it goes. You never know until you try.<br />
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You sound beautiful. Inner beauty. Yeah, yeah, I know, you've heard this before. But it's true. You sound like a really nice person.

Well, AngelicLights basically said everything I would've said,(only, much better than I would've said it! lol) but let me add this...<br />
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Have you ever noticed the girls who wear really bizarre things...weird dresses, craaazy hairstyles, jackets that look like they haven't been in a fashion magazine in the past 30 years? And somehow, it looks awesome on them! However, you think to yourself, that would look SO ugly on me! Well, it's the same way with yourself...your face, you whole presence. Do you know what makes the difference? Confidence. You can seriously rock ANYTHING with confidence. And you can ABSOLUTELY fake confidence! Trust me, I know.<br />
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I'm only 24, so it wasn't that long ago when I felt very similar to you. I had been told for years that no boy would ever find me attractive because I had huge eyes and teeny tiny lips. When you're still in school, you're kind of trapped. Once you give off that image to people, it's REALLY hard to discard the label you earn for yourself. It's possible, but...Well, lucky for you you're almost done with school. Congratulations! Let me share a secret with you....once you graduate you will meet a lot of new people...whether you go to college, straight to work...wherever....And you can be anyone you want to be. You've received a lot of excellent advice here. Let your light shine, smile at everyone, be kind and a good listener....I'm sure you're not as ugly as you think you are. In fact, you probably have some very beautiful attributes to your looks. Looks aren't the whole package though...and if you fake the confidence, eventually you WILL start to feel it. It certainly worked for me. Try to think positively, because negativity not only brings you down, but the others around you. Good luck sweety. I wish you all the best.....If you ever need to talk, feel free to contact me:) I'm a stranger so I can be 100% neutral:

It's okay. I'll tell you something. I'm 28 and I've never had anyone liked me in my whole life. A lot of times I wish I had been pretty.

I am sorry that you feel bad about yourself. But don't worry alot of people worry about their looks the way you do, and its always nothing. Confidence I hate to say is everything if you are confident then people will like you, and please don't think just because its bad for you know like you don't have boyfriend that its never going to get better, it wil someday.

Ugliness like beauty is only skin deep. Have you heard of inner beauty? What you don't have in one you make up for it in other ways. You have an understanding of things. Many people don't know how to handle "Beauty" and it doesn't last but a warm caring heart, kindness, and acceptance can be a lifetime thing if you so desire. Many spend a lot of money and grief on something that as time goes on will fade away, but by being a genuine person that will always be rewarding and last. You have other talents, you just need to find them and you will. You may not have ever heard of of her but President Franklin Roosevelts wife, Eleanor, was not a beautiful person either but she went out into the world and changed many injustices and became very important in matters of the world. Lack of beauty didn't stop her and it should not stop you, either. I don't know what life beholds for you but hopefully you just may be the one who becomes our first woman president or finds a cure for one of the many plagues that we suffer with. Make a contribution to the world and it will remember and beauty has nothing to do with that. You are worth more than you'll ever know, don't let something only skin deep stop you from enriching others lives. Take Care.

I know it sounds trite but what people are saying is true. Confidence and personality count for a lot. I grew up believing myself to be ugly, and I still occasionally fall back into that way of thinking, but when I act with confidence people tell me I'm handsome. Don't base your ideas of beauty on what is or isn't conventionally 'good looking' - a lot of catwalk models are chosen because they look unique - not like what the mainstream idea of good looks is. After all, society's idea of what is or isn't beautiful is only governed by what we are told is beautiful. A good example is the way society believes, or believed for a long time, that unhealthily thin girls were beautiful, because that's what the fashion industry said.