Why Not Enough?

Every time someone hurts me the only thing I ever ask is why? I want to know what's wrong with me that makes that person feel like Im not enough, like Im not needed, that I cant be Loved. I never used to feel like i was unlovable before. I felt as normal as the next person confident about who I was. Than I kept getting crushed by everyone. Insulted, Laughed at, Bullied, Lied to, The worst Cheated on.how could I be so unlovable to the point where Im so not enough that they had to cheat? I want to know what I am missng as a person what the heck it is i need to change to be enough! I WANT TO BE LOVED. for once I want someone to feel for me as I do for them not a huge contrast of love and caring from my side and little to none on the other. I dont want to be someone's back up or last option I dont understand why that is what I am to people. BEING UNLOVABLE SUCKSĀ 
PerfectRainbows PerfectRainbows
18-21, F
3 Responses Feb 18, 2012

I have just had yet another break up where the guy told me he wasn't in love. I know it's easy to think that there is something wrong with us but why should that be? Love is a choice and if that person doesn't love you it's because something in them isn't right. I'm 34 now and have never had a 'love' relationship. All the guys tell me how amazing and beautiful and fantastic I am then a few months later they become indifferent and then they don't want to know me anymore. My friends tell me how lovely I am so who is right? I think the most important thing to do is love yourself and be strong. If you have even only one person (a friend, or a family member) that loves you then you ARE loveable.Unfortunately there are many men out there who don't truly appreciate a women usually for their own messed up reasons. Treat yourself well and if needs be go speak to someone professional who can help you believe more in yourself. DON'T give these men too much power. If they can't see you for who you are then they aren't worth a second more of your time. xx

I feel EXACTLY the way you do. I am 40 and have seen everyone I know fall in love and get married. They get married, several times, and have children. My nieces and nephews are old enough to fall in love with someone, yet I remain alone. I have plenty of friends and family that love me and love when I'm around, yet I remain alone. I am very funny, friendly, and very respectful, yet I remain alone.
I have been alone for so long, I have been lied to for so long, I have been my own best friend for so long, that I have come to terms with my chosen path in life, making those around me a little bit happier. Even for a single moment. Even if I will never be truly happy or loved myself, I brought a smile to someones face long enough for us to forget how ****** the world really is. I no longer need anyone to be happy, I am happy with my own self and I am all I need. If there isn't a single person on this planet that can recognize how special I really am, then too bad for them.

First!<br />
Hey! Forget about all the other things,<br />
if no one's telling this ever before then<br />
I just wanna let you know,<br />
U r an amazing, wonderful, specical, incrediblly incredible & lovable girl.<br />
YEP! You just ARE!<br />
There is no reason why you are not. <br />
<br />
<br />
Now answer two questions to yourself,<br />
No1: Do all those words makes you smile or even just one second that you feel joyful when hearing these ?<br />
<br />
No2: After few seconds, would you tell yourself such things like " this guy never meet or see me before, how the hell does he know these about me! So that's not true. " ?<br />
<br />
p.s.<br />
for what it is worth, hope this post would made your day. :))<br />
<br />
Best luck, and try to answer the question to yourself honestly. :))

thank you :) it means a lot

'I dont want to be someone's back up or last option'... ditto<br />
He made me feel this way too, hence I broke away, it was so hurting. I left to preserve me, disallow myself to be humiliated further. I tell myself that I want to be the special one of the next guy I will date, to be loved.

I want to be special but I feel like I cant be that unless I believe in my self and I dont.