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In My Opinion

I think people do have the ability to change both, themselves and others. Many people feel that cannot change others. At least that's what I see here on EP. It could be we are talking about different things.

For example, I have changed my husband in many ways, but is he what I think he should be? No, but do I think I have helped in making him better, yes. Does he treat me the way I think he should? No, but have I stopped certain behaviors and bad habits that were hurting me. Yes. So even though I influenced changes in him, he is still not the right person for me. We still have many issues but the most destructive things he did are gone because I stood up and stopped him.

From my own experience I can say you can directly influence change in others. That doesn't mean you can make them what you want and they will be the person you wish you had, but even a little is good in my case. 

I think this works the other way around as well. I think we can also change people for the worse too. Creating habits and behaviors that are not favorable. That's why we should always choose our friends carefully and with purpose. Knowing that they will and can have a good affect on you and you on them. 
soulrunher soulrunher 41-45, F 3 Responses Jan 27, 2013

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Nice writing Soulrunher, I know I've changed since I got married, not sure if my wife has...:)

There are situations in my life the people I'm dealing with will not change... In that case I drop it and just roll with it...

Thank you for your insight, it's nice.

Thanks, that was just an example. It is meant to be applied to everyone. :) Thanks for reading.

Always my pleasure :)

I believe this is true too... I try to be warm and caring and have had people tell me this has affected them. I have some silly notion that maybe these small acts can make the world a more loving place. My tiny "pay it forward" gesture I guess :) As for standing up for myself? you are leagues ahead of me my friend. You're awesome :)

Well, in my situation I had to or suffer the results. I wasn't about to go down, so I stood up. Sometimes you really have to put you first. :)

I'm trying. Thanks for setting a good example :)

To both of you, what you do here is making me a better person, I'm a little slow and very forgetful, but in life I'm really trying...

Thank you :)

What a lovely compliment Youneke :) it works both ways HUGS

1 More Response

I think we can all change people for the better or worse. But this site I feel is for improving and helping people, not making them worse.
Good luck working on your husband too.

I stopped working on him! My job is done. LOL Im exhausted. :)