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Mind Contradicting My Heart...

So... a man I go to meetings with I happen to be falling for...
He is ten years older than me but during a meeting tonight I couldn't stop fantasizing...
As soon as he walks out, I follow excusing it as "I need to use the restroom."
Only I know the truth and I'm sure others have noticed.
It's so stupid!
I should just stop going to that meeting!
I think I will because it's just stupid.
He's too old.
My heart has total utter control over me, it's so sad.
My mind knows better than this, but lately I've had a thing for, specifically, 25 year-old men.
Weird, huh?
If I was looking in from the outside I'd be screaming "Daddy issues!!!"
And God is it true!
I need that constant male approval!
I almost relapsed on alcohol because a guy wasn't answering my phone calls...
And my so called boyfriend wont EVER call or answer...
I know I'm too clingy and stupid.
But I CAN NOT STOP!
It's always been drugs and men...
HOW DO I STOP!?!?!
Kidd12 Kidd12 16-17, F Jun 11, 2012

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