My Husband the Addict

I have been with my husband for 16 years. He was a functioning addict when I met him. I didn't know for a few years after dating that he did drugs. We both have had our flaws in the relationship, but his doesn't stop. We have seperated because of his drug problem. We have argued time and time again, but he continues to use. He's addicted to coke. It really bothers me that he is wasting his life away. I always make sure he pays all the bills when he gets paid so we aren't in such a financial strain, but he blows whatever is left. He has mood swings but I don't put up with his crap. I have found if you show signs of strength instead of weakness you will get alot farther with the addict. You always have to have a plan when dealing with someone on this level. Like secret bank accounts, at least one person who knows what your going through. I love him dearly, but I refuse to let him destroy our household. Whatever you do don't allow the addict to take control because he can't even control himself. Always stay on top of the money he has and make sure you get your share and put it up or spend it.

icpain22 icpain22
36-40
3 Responses Feb 16, 2009

i think that maybe leaving will make him face up to the fact that he has to change, you can start on your own and maybe check up on him but i dont know how to explain im trying to say that leaving him would make him realize he needs to change for himself sorry couldnt be of much assistance

I know how you feel my husband is a on and off again drug addict... He was using when we got married and I had no idea! His drug choice is heroin. After he confessed it to me... i immediatly gave him a choice me or the drug. And its been a long hard battle for 5 years and his drug problem is what is tearing us apart. I wish he would just end up leaving me bc I am not strong enough to leave his dumb butt. I wish I was. I honestly wish we could work it out but how do I know when we just cant? Good Luck!

been there, icpain. I had to get away... after 13 years it was too much to bear.