Is My Wife Telling Me Everything?


     My wife recently told me about a sexual incident that happened in the 8th year of our marriage, some 27 years ago.  We were stationed in Germany at the time and I was required to be away at least 8 months out of the year. Living with us were our two toddler age sons.  We lived in a 3 story government housing apartment building that contained 6 apartments in each of  3 stairwells.  Each stairwell shared a common laundry room with several washers and dryers.  My wife, 30 years old at the time, was assigned the responsibility of locking up the laundry room, located in the basement of the apartment building, each night at 10 PM.  She was given this responsibility because of the military’s fear of theft or vandalism to this common area.  Also located in the same basement area were private enclosed storage rooms for each apartment.


     When my wife and children arrived in Germany, the military community gave a monthy briefing to new dependent arrivals and their military husbands.  The briefing was to familiarize them with policies and procedures of that community such the commissary,  PX, medical facilities, location of the schools, emergency information, etc.  My wife tells me that we were told at that meeting that dependents should think long and hard before making any charges against the community medical personnel or military police as they have had many complaints about them and all were always found to be groundless or words to that effect.  My wife has a very good memory for details like that.  I vaguely remember remarks like that being made.  This was my wife’s first experience with life in the real Army in an overseas environment.  We had always lived on the civilian economy in our stateside assignments.  My wife’s personality has always been one that when people first meet her they think she is years younger than she really is and one where she appears to be the pure, innocent and naïve type.   


     Living the apartment directly below us was a 45 year old military policeman, his wife and their 6 year old son.  During the two and a half years we lived there, my wife and I became friends with both him and his wife even though they were older than us, mainly because they were so helpful to us when we moved in.  His wife was a nurse who worked from 7 PM to 3 AM five days a week.  My wife believes he had the military community responsibility of periodically checking the entire housing area for security problems.  She also thinks he may have had access to a master key to open apartment entry doors if needed.  She believes that because of events that I will describe later.


     During the first week we lived in the apartment, the person described above told me and my wife that if we needed any help getting established to call anytime.  As I was trying to get our kitchen stove pilot light working, I realized that I did not have the proper  type screw driver.  I called down to his apartment to see if he had the proper one and if he did, could I borrow it.  He did and I had my wife go down stairs to his apartment to get it.  His wife was in their kitchen when she knocked on the door.  He answered the door and gave my wife the screwdriver, but momentarily ran his finger across the palm of her hand in a sensual way as he gave it to her.  My wife informed me of this and after a little thought on both of our parts, we just shrugged it off as nothing but perhaps her imagination.  Another time, when he and his wife were visiting, he noticed we did not have a dead bolt lock on our entry door and suggested that we get one. The door did have a chain safety latch.  We did inquire with the community housing department about having one put on and they informed us that none were available.  We asked if we could buy one on the local economy and install it ourselves and were informed we could not modify entry doors without their maintenance personnel doing it with approved locks.  They told us to check back at a later date to see if any were available.  Over time, it just slipped our minds as we felt the chain safety latch should be sufficient.  About a month or two after we moved in, our 4 year old accidentally locked himself in our apartments bathroom and we could not figure out how to open it.  We called this neighbor to ask for suggestions.  He came up to our apartment with some kind of small rod, stuck it into the small hole in the center of the door latch and the door opened allowing our son to escape.  I remember we were impressed with his skill and thanked him for freeing our son.


      About three months after we moved into the apartment while I was deployed, my wife was having severe sinus headaches.  When this occurred, she would take hot showers trying to relieve the pain.  While in the shower, the shower curtain was suddenly yanked open.  My wife was facing the shower wall and did not see who opened the curtain and assumed it was one or both of our sons being playful as the oldest one was laughing outloud in the living room.  My wife dried herself off, wrapped a towel around herself and walked into the apartment hallway to ask him what he was laughing about.  Our son told her using the name of our downstairs neighbors son saying,  “Jon’s dad was here and had just left”.  Again, she thought it was probably just a 4 year olds imagination.  She told me of this incident when I returned and after what we thought was careful consideration just shrugged it off.  Several times over the next year and a half while I was away, my wife told me she would awake at night on hearing footsteps in our apartment hallway and a door being closed shortly afterward.  Once she said when hearing steps in the hallway she got up and looked into the hallway to see what appeared to be a tall dark shadow of a man closing our apartment door.  She says she informed me of this but I don’t remember her telling me.  If she did, I must have thought it was just her imagination and her fear of being alone when I was gone. All of the incidents that follow we both agree that I was not made aware of until recently for reasons described later.     


     The next  incident occurred in early January of our final year there when she was cleaning up the laundry room and the military policeman came in unexpectedly, walked over to her and without invitation kissed her on the cheek and told her "Happy New Year".  He then positioned his cheek in front of my wife’s face wanting a return kiss which my wife gave by giving him a peck on the chin.  He then departed the area.  Over the next couple of weeks, she tells me when I was away, she frequently answer the phone and hear someone breathing heavily, who would never respond when asked to and would then hang up. Occasionally, when she was in the laundry room he would be doing his laundry and come over to her and strike up a conversation.  During this small talk, he would sometimes play with the ends of her long beautiful hair that came down to the middle of her back. When this occurred, she would back away from him to put distance between them.  In February of that year, he cornered her in the storage room hallway showing her a bloody finger of his, then forced her into his storage area where he ran his bloody finger over her lips and made the comment that they were now blood brother and sister, then released her. She says she then began to fear mortal danger, but was afraid to say anything because of his position with the military police and the fact that he had hinted to her he would get even if the word got out about his odd behavior.  My wife recalls that his wife once told her that he was getting medical help for mental problems.


     Later that month, my wife was in the laundry room doing our laundry when he unexpectedly came in.  He was sweating and seemed angry and agitated about something.  Upon seeing my wife there in the laundry room and while wearing his full military policeman uniform with sidearm, handcuffs, and police club, he put on a  pair of black military gloves, closed the door,  and approached her.   My wife, fearful for her safety, placed her laundry basket between her and him and made her way over to the laundry room exit door and left.  Fearful that he would soon follow, my wife hid for about 10 minutes in our basement storage room.  Upon exiting the storage room, my wife started up the steps when he jumped from behind the furnace that was located in the basement hallway.  My wife was running up the steps to our third floor apartment, but he caught her and passed her and tried to prevent her from proceeding.  My wife struggled with him momentarily, knocking him off balance causing him to almost fall down the steps.  My wife continued to run upstairs and into the apartment but before she could close the door he caught up to her just inside the apartment entry door.  He then took off his weapons belt  which included a pistol, handcuffs, and club and placed them on our dining room table.  My wife, whose was frozen with fear, says he walked over to her and made the strange remark, “I saw you coming out of a cake”.  He then placed his hands and arms over her shoulders and appeared to be trying to unbutton her top from behind and then suddenly stopped.  He appeared to be shaking.  Then without saying a word, he just turned and left.  He was in the apartment for about 5 minutes.  About a week later while in the laundry room hallway, he came out of the laundry room and my wife asked him bluntly what he thought he was doing when he chased her up the stairs and into our apartment.  He seemed surprised by her question and walked on and then turned and said to her, “Don’t  you say anything.” And continued on his way.    


     In March, while I was deployed about 200 miles away on a long term field exercise, my wife tells me that she received a phone call from him telling her he had seen me and hinted that something tragic had happened to me (severe injury or death)and told her he was coming back and would come to the apartment and explain what he was talking about when he got there (a three and a half hour drive). Later she realized he had made the phone call somewhere along the Autobaun because he arrived at our apartment in less than 2 hours.  He knocked on our apartment door at about midnight and my wife answered and allowed him in to get the news about me.  When queried by my wife about me he remained silent.  After a couple of minutes, he began making remarks of a sexual nature and asked her to show him our bedroom.  My wife tells me, she immediately stood up and told him bluntly that she was a happily married woman, a Christian, and would never consider such a thing.  He supposedly responded with the angry and intimidating comment "Next time I had better get what I came for". 


     In April my wife was assisting his wife in the preparation of a typed report for a wives club they belonged to and that his wife was the president of.  On the final day of preparation of the report, his wife came to our apartment to review it and my wife suggested a couple of changes.  His wife agreed and told my wife to bring down to her apartment the final report as soon as it was done, as she believed that she would not be working at her job as a nurse that evening even though she was always on call.  Shortly before 7 PM, my wife phoned her apartment that she was coming down with the report.  Her husband answered the phone and responded with "OK, bring it down."  My wife thinking his wife was there went down.  After knocking on the door, her husband opened the door.  He was wearing a gold satin, paisley print robe and slippers.  My wife then  entered their apartment with the report and handed it to him. He made a comment, “Shall we dance?”, after placing the report on their dining table.  My wife told him that she needed to speak with his wife to tell her that a minor correction was made to her report.   Even though he was acting strangely with odd comments, my wife believed she was in their son’s room getting him ready for bed.  He, in the mean time, was walking back and forth down the apartment hall between the child’s room and the living room.  After about 10 minutes, he reentered the living room and yelled get down as though she was in danger.  According to my wife, he immediately grabbed her and yanked her loose fitting jeans as well as her panties down to her ankles in one shift motion, forced one leg out of her clothing while at the same time dropping his pants and forcing himself on top of her.  My wife at the time was a 5'4" brunette with long beautiful hair and weighed about 118 lbs.  He stood about 6'5" and weighed at least 220 lbs.  My wife tells me she resisted the best she could, repeatedly said no, but was in a state of total shock that this was happening to her.  During his rape, according to my wife, he did achieve vaginal unprotected penetration to include *********** while in her  an uncertain amount of time (anywhere from 2 to 5 minutes).  Upon completion, he let her up, allowed her to dress and leave the apartment making the remark, "*****" as she left and hinting for her to keep her mouth shut or else.  My wife tells me she was in tears while this was occurring but failed to scream or physically resist due to his size and strength.  While this was happening, I was deployed on a month long field exercise. 


     About three weeks after the rape, my wife was doing laundry and upon completion was returning her laundry basket and detergent to our basement storage room which was located two doors down from their storage room and which she had to walk by to get of ours.  As she walked by his storage room door, it suddenly opened and he grabbed her and pulled her in and closed and locked the door.  In a forceful tone of voice he said, "Take your clothes off or I'll."  My wife believing she was in mortal danger complied by taking off her top and allowing her jeans to fall to the ground, but according to her left on her panties and bra.  At the same time, in this almost dark room, he had removed his pants and underwear and taking my wife’s hand forced her to fondle his penis for a period of one to two minutes and then forcing her and well as himself into a sitting position facing each other on the floor.  All this occurred over a period of about 20 minutes according to my wife with him not touching in a sexual way my wife or even talking to her.  My wife tells me he was in the process of putting on a condom when she managed to pull up her pants, get her shirt, open the door and run up the stairwell pulling on her top at the same time, run into and locking our apartment door. 


     Less serious, but none the less, frightful events continued to occur right up to the time he and his wife departed Germany in August of that year.  All of these events occurred while I was away on training exercises.  On their last night there, my wife and myself invited his wife and six-year-old son up for dinner.  My wife said he was not formally invited (I don't remember) but he came anyway.  Our kids and their son were playmates.  As they were departing, hugs were exchanged by all including me.


     My wife, kids and I departed Germany that October and were assigned to a large southern infantry base.  The military policeman and his family were assigned to another large training base hundreds of  miles away.  In March or April of the following year, my wife reminded me that he had called our house and said he was on military business temporarily at our base and wondered if he could drop by that afternoon.  I was supposedly in the house for lunch when this call came.  After trying to get me to talk to him, she told him that she had something urgent to do and hung up.  I returned to work and she told me she got into our car and went to the PX out of fear that he might come over while I was not there and the kids were in school.


     After hearing about this a couple of weeks ago from my wife, I now remember the stairwell coordinator (the wife of another senior NCO) who lived directly across the hall from the military policeman and his wife, catching me in the stairwell during the last few months of our tour of duty and saying something to the effect like, “You better start paying attention to what going on here with this guy next door.”  I remember feeling somewhat odd and fearful as what she might be talking about at the time. I admit I always thought of her a nosey person.   I also remember approaching my wife about what the stairwell coordinator was talking about and my wife absolutely convincing me it had nothing to do with her.  I believed her and never brought it up again until her recent disclosures to me.


     During this entire timeframe never once did she tell me or anyone else about these events.  It wasn't until some 26 years later that she confided to her sister about what happened.  She waited another year to tell me.  When questioned by me as to why she had not confided to me, she says she was fearful I would let it come between us. 


     I believe my wife has always loved me but must admit I have lost a lot of sleep since finding out trying to understand why she did not confide in someone when these events kept occurring one after another over that period of time.  She says she was fearful of harm for her, our children, and me.  Also she was afraid no one would believe her word against the word of a policeman.  And her fear that it would come between her and me. 


     I know where this now 72 year old man presently lives as well as he and his wife's phone number and address.  I found this information on the internet through research.   I am considering calling him and talking to him or his wife.  Asking for advise on this matter.

AmIParanoid AmIParanoid
56-60, M
2 Responses Mar 15, 2009

this story is either total BS or you and your wife together don't have an IQ above 10. to put up with any of that, if real, is insanity on your part and that of your wife. take a freak'in Discharge or get a lawyer if you were worried about anything. Obviously, if true, you guys were more worried about your career than her/children's safety.

Police, call the ******* police. This is bigger than you. To think that someone could treat another person with such disrespect disgusts me. Please don't let him get away with it, I don't care how old or metally unstable he is. Please do something. That ****** was doing these horrible things to her and she felt guilty for it. Please do something!