I Told Him....

I have been avoiding my husband like he had the plague for the past 2 weeks. Not that I was purposely trying to be mean but just because I had all these things I knew I needed to say and he had no idea how I was feeling. So being around him was only making it that much more difficult and awkward. He had asked me if I was ok early in the week last week and I told him there were a lot of serious things we needed to talk about but now was not the time. We were both out the door to work and I knew it couldn't be said in passing. Yesterday we were both home and he asked me again what was wrong. I had already written down all the things I wanted to say to him, about how I was feeling. That I haven't been happy, that I feel trapped and I want to leave etc etc. He took it all surprisingly well. He didn't get angry or sad or anything. I truly believe deep down he knows that we are not right for each other, I think he is just scared like I am, of being alone and having to face the fear of the unknown alone. He said that he thinks we need to go and talk to someone about what I'm feeling. Which I agreed to, with the understanding that I will try it but I truly don't think it is going to change how I feel. He said all he's asking is that I at least try. So I guess we're going to do that for the next few weeks. I think this is actually a good thing because I am 100% sure that I still want to leave but it will be a much more civil and amicable separation if there is a mediator to help us communicate through it. At least that's my theory....I guess we will see if I'm right or not as time unfolds.

I still feel trapped though >_<
Ittybittypeanut Ittybittypeanut
26-30, F
3 Responses May 7, 2012

Good luck. At least you've gotten over the hard part of telling him. I still haven't managed to work up the courage in my situation.

My thoughts exactly :) I want this whole thing to be as painless and easy as possible, even though I know it's not going to be painless or easy at all lol

Thats great news! You know what, try, as much as you can, see what happens and if anything changes. If not you can stil leave. At least you ll be able to say that you ve tried and you ll feel less guilt about the whole situation.