I Want A Divorce, But My Husband Does Not Work And I Can't Support Him

I am the breadwinner in the HH. Not by choice- although my husband has chosen to make it so. He has never worked. We have known eachother for 12 years now, and for 11 of them he has let me be the breadwinner. He never has made an effort to find a job. He is a "stay at home dad" to our 3 kids, even though we live in a major city, I make just over 125k, and we can't afford him to stay at home. We both have the same degree. He just never has looked for work (even before kids). He is now in his mid-30s, and he is pretty unemployable because he has not ever really worked (only VERY part time at 15 hours or less a week, on and off).

He has premature *********** disorder. He refuses to see a doctor about it because he is embarrassed, subsequently our intimate relationship sucks. It actually grosses me out at this point, I am so mad at him.

He has low emotional intimacy needs, while I am intense. He leaves me to make all decisions, never provides input or takes initiatives, and he can't even grocery shop, make dinner or clean the house without a specific instruction set from me.

I have told him so many times that these are deal breakers, and nothing changes. I day dream constantly about finding someone else. I am in my early 30s, I feel like I am wasting my life with this man....


I can't afford to support him. We live paycheck to paycheck in this city. I have cut out all unnecessary spending, and we still barely make it. We have 3 kids under 5 and I cannot afford to add day care. I can't afford another HH or spousal support. I cannot even afford a flat tire right now!

What do I do. :( I feel so trapped and cornered by this man. I am living so leanly as it is, I can't afford to buy a home, I cannot even afford my own car... all because he won't work. It is so depressing. I don't hate him, but I just don't want to live with him as my "lover" anymore. Please tell me I am not alone. :(
elephant41 elephant41
May 7, 2012