What Should I Do?

I have been married for over a year. We have been together going on five years. I am only 21. We have no kids. My husband is great man. A "catch" some would tell me. He works a full time job as a tech. Makes good money and we live a pretty secure life. I work for extra money on the side. I have been wanting to join the military for about a year to follow in my grand dads foot steps. Just recently I decided yes I am going to the Navy. My husband told me. Im his wife Im not allowed to just get up go. We took a vow. But this is my dream. I have taken college courses but thats not what I want. It has been a good while since I actually started to doubt my marriage. We are great friends together. Complete honesty. We love everything the same. But Im no longer attracted to him. He still is to me. One big turn off I see. Is his drinking habbit. He is not going out to clubs and bars. But he just sits at home and drinks and drinks and drinks.. all while playing xbox. Work to xbox plus beer. This is exactly what my father in law does. Only he watches Tv and he is actually divorced from my husbands mother. I am not cheating on him. But i do fear I will. Im afraid to loose everything. All our memories and the family I gained. This man does not beat me. He hasn't cheated on me. He works hard. But yet Im no longer in love with him. Sometimes I feel obligated to stay. One i took a vow. I love his family very much and afraid they will turn on me. Being alone. Hurting him to a extent. ( before we were married. I did try to leave him once. But he broke down and begged me to stay) Going through a nasty divorce. Having people look down on me.

Every time i do bring up the subject. He makes me feel guilty for having such thoughts. I know hes happy with where were at. He even wants to buy a house soon. But should i give up mine for his. Im thinking during the leave for basic training will help me realize. Do I really want to be with this man for ever or am Im perfectly content with myself alone. What do you guys suggest?
navybound navybound
18-21, F
2 Responses May 17, 2012

Your exactly right. I do have a good marriage. I think I'm just going to try and work on it. I need him more then anyone. Thanks for your comments.

It sounds like You have tough choices to make. It looks like,You have an awesome marriage,minus the drinking.You found a partner that doesn't cheat,or abuse You.You have total honesty.I wouldn't let any of that go,if You do You may regret that later in life.<br />
It seems like Your partner doesn't want You to leave home for the Navy.I don't blame Him.When You go it is for months at a time.If college isn't what You want,how do you know the navy would be?<br />
If You are unsure about the military,You could look into the Army National Guard. It's one week-end a month,& 2 weeks a year. Then if after You did Your time....You wanted to re-enlist,You could join the navy. At least then You would be sure. Anyway lots of luck on Your decisions!