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Trapped

I have been married for 18 years. My husband moved out and told me that he needed some space. 2 weeks later I found out that he had a girlfriend. After he had his fun, he decided that he wanted to come home. Stupidly I let him come home, he sleeps at my house every night but will not give up his apartment. He will not wear a ring, and he flips out if I even glance at his cell phone. I know it is obvious that he is seeing someone, but geez, if I am with him every night, every weekend and we have lunch together two or three times a week, how can he fit her in? And is she just a complete idiot? Well, I love having him around for the kids and for the financial security. He says he loves me......soo confused. Any advice? I feel like I am losing respect for myself. Help.
sabitalilly sabitalilly 41-45, F 4 Responses Jul 19, 2012

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Sabitalilly, I have been married for 13 years and have gone 3 months without being with my wife. I am lucky if you are intimate once a month but I have still been faithful after all this time. He is using you, kind of like "Having your cake and eating it too". You are better than that and deserve better. I know how hard it is to belive such a thing, because I am still trying to convince myself too.

Talk to a lawyer and find out what your rights are. He will have to financially support the children if you can prove what his income is. <br />
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I know it's so hard, try to think of yourself and what you want. I am trying to do the same.

You must decide what is important? Kids... hum I have 4 myself but ya know what with divorce rate now higher then the rate of marriage for life they will no longer be a minority right? <br />
They will get thru it. I used to always say, don't get married because you are pregant. <br />
Why wouldn't you say don't stay married because of the kids. I get the financial support thing but do you really want to just rely on another who is screwing you over? Do you really believe your children will never figure it out and then of course they will think fondly of you and what you represent. <br />
You have to examine what is important to you. You have lots of time, just start planning and be careful

So easy to judge, when you are being played just as well. So I'll pass some similar thoughts to you. I never understood how a wife could stay with her husband knowing that he is cheating. He's having his cake and eating it too. Geez, Leave him or live with it.