I Think I Want a Divorce
Where do I begin?
We met in H.S. and became good friends. He always showed an interest in me, but I didn't see him that way. I was never without a boyfriend, couldn't stand to be alone. Before senior year I was broken up with. Almost immediately I started thinking of guys that I could go out with. I had no prospects, there was no one. My husband, then friend was very persistent. I decided, why not? I told him I didn't want it to ruin our friendship if things didn't work out. I knew soon after, that I wasn't into him that way. But he was so happy. I was his first girlfriend, first kiss, first eveything. I was afraid of hurting him, loosing our friendship, and most importantly being alone. So I stayed. Fast forward about a year and a half.... I'm pregnant! Now I was in even deeper. Still afraid of being alone and how could I make it on my own and be a single mom. So I stayed. Fast forward a few more years.... We have 2 kids, bought a piece of property from his mom, built a house on that piece of property. All this by the time we were 22. A year after we moved into that house we got married. I knew in my gut that it wasn't what I wanted and quite literally I was sick to my stomach. I should've listed then and not gone through with it. But again I was afraid to go at it alone. Single mom, no college education, trying to make enought money to support me and the kids. So I stayed. One more kid later... I still feel the same.
To be continued
We met in H.S. and became good friends. He always showed an interest in me, but I didn't see him that way. I was never without a boyfriend, couldn't stand to be alone. Before senior year I was broken up with. Almost immediately I started thinking of guys that I could go out with. I had no prospects, there was no one. My husband, then friend was very persistent. I decided, why not? I told him I didn't want it to ruin our friendship if things didn't work out. I knew soon after, that I wasn't into him that way. But he was so happy. I was his first girlfriend, first kiss, first eveything. I was afraid of hurting him, loosing our friendship, and most importantly being alone. So I stayed. Fast forward about a year and a half.... I'm pregnant! Now I was in even deeper. Still afraid of being alone and how could I make it on my own and be a single mom. So I stayed. Fast forward a few more years.... We have 2 kids, bought a piece of property from his mom, built a house on that piece of property. All this by the time we were 22. A year after we moved into that house we got married. I knew in my gut that it wasn't what I wanted and quite literally I was sick to my stomach. I should've listed then and not gone through with it. But again I was afraid to go at it alone. Single mom, no college education, trying to make enought money to support me and the kids. So I stayed. One more kid later... I still feel the same.
To be continued
By:
1lonelyroad
Age:
31-35
,
Female
