So This Post Is About Sex....or Lack Thereof

She wants to but you don't. A rare situation. I think you need to tell her exactly step by step how to treat you and your best friend. Be proactive and be encouraging like Ohh you do that well dont make it a negative

wow, really? Sex is your biggest issue? That is something you can work though by communicating honestly and respectfully to her about. Have you ever asked he what you might have done to cause the problem? Maybe you do something that makes it not good for her? Talk about it. Please!? Divorce over bad sex! marriage is about learning to communicate and work together. It takes years sometimes to get where you want to be but you have to try. If both parties are willing. Now, if they are not , . . . here is a major issue that causes thoughts of divorce.

Before you go the route of divorce, hurting so many people if you have children and a family, please get relationship coaching/counseling. Go to a qualified sex therapist. Go to a relationship counselor. You have made it this far, there is hope, but she does have to meet you part way. Remember, women tend to get sexually imprinted by early sexual experiences and it becomes hard for them to adapt to other men. That doesn't mean she can't be helped. The advantage of bringing a neutral 3rd party to the situation is that you can both be heard. Often, both parts of a couple have trouble hearing what their partner is really saying. That makes for misery.

I agree with dgo: If you & she have both made soft sensual suggestions on how to turn each other on and neither was willing to try the relationship is dead

There is a point where you just have to really ask (and admit) that perhaps this relationship is not right for either of you. Obviously the changes you are asking her to make aren't worth it for her and the ones she's asking you to make (accept her as she is) aren't worth it to you. Things like this come up when people aren't really attrcted to each other and/or has never been attracted to one another; simple changes become milestones. I am speaking from a lot of soul searching and experience in my own sexless marriage. My husband has asked me to change some things as well but I refuse to b/c I feel like these things only changed when I stopped feeling even a basic wanting from him and blame from him for a problem that was mutually created. So personally, I think I'm done with trying to get a square peg in a round hole. On top of that, we both deserve to go out and find what we really want( with a much wiser outlook on relationships!). Unfortunately, b/c my husband is very passive, I know that I will have to be the one to initiate it. So I am working on my personal finances now to be able to do that. So what's your FIRST answer to the question....Do I want to stay married to this person?

Nothing similar has ever happened to me because I am so young. But I think it would be better to talk things through than to live the rest of your life without sex and living with the "discretion is the better part of valour" mentality. You deserve something more. You should be polite of course but also be open to her about how you feel. You have to work it out with her or something has to happen.