Emotionally Battered

maybe i don't really think i want a divorce but sometimes i wonder if it's inevitable. sometimes he's so mean and cold when he talks to me (or at me) i'm not sure what to think or feel. it's like those confrontations just drain all the life out of me and all i can do to keep on going is shut down and just let the verbal abuse wash over me and hope it will pass me like a storm. it doesn't happen often but when it does it's extremely hurtful. and it's often because he's mad at something or someone else but i'm the one around so i get all the frustration aimed at me. i don't understand how someone can be so good and loving one day and then a complete ***** the next. it's not that i'm a saint or anything but i try to be considerate of his feelings all the time and it just seems lately it's easy for him to forget about mine. he's been out of state all week and i've managed to keep busy enough at work and after so that i wouldn't get lonely for him. he comes back tomorrow afternoon and right now i feel lonelier and sadder than i have all week combined after just 1 short phone call and a series of texts all because my brother hasn't dropped off a check for something he sold to him. *sigh* i'm sure i should probably just let him blow off steam then let it go but it just makes me feel so inferior and weak. i just feel like a worn out punching bag right now. and it hurts and it's exhausting. at least he's not here to see me cry and call me names for doing that.

isolatedkitty isolatedkitty
26-30, F
4 Responses Mar 14, 2009

Try having sex with your man allowing him to be happy and you will see a 360 degree difference. Respect is a two way street.

First, that is not normal. He doesn't know how to deal with anger and yes, he's transferring it all to you. He needs anger management classes. You also have to stand up for yourself instead of laying down and letting it wash over you. If you just allow him to continue this behavior without any consequence, he's going to continue it. I'm not saying throw things or kick him in the balls, but maybe you could record him while he'd raging. Play it back to him when he's calm and let him hear what he sounds like. Let him know that if he doesn't stop that you'll have no other choice but to make some seious decisions. Good luck.

I'm sorry you are miserable...marriage is tough...not for the faint of heart....but divorce is not easy, either....<br />
<br />
I did it, and would not wish that on my worst enemy...it was much more painful than the marriage ever was...it was not an abusive marriage, just not a happy one...no passion...a husband who treated me like furniture...<br />
<br />
Now, I am happily re-married and would not trade my life for anything....but, I caution people about divorce....it is not a quick fix for a miserable marriage...as monumental as getting married is, so is getting divorced...<br />
<br />
I just suggest you do all possible to avoid divorce....get counseling...have more sex...go to school...work on building up yourself...just make sure you tried everything before divorce...just my thoughts...peace...SS

Sorry but you don't have to take but so much.Be strong and keep writing.Lots of people here have been through it or are going through it too.Smile...