Not So Much Created As Grown Into It.

I don't think I was born to be alone, per se. Some of us truly are natural hermits. We have no need nor want for companionship. Our comfort and solace and joy is completely self-contained.

That's not me. I quite like (some) humans. But over the years, of perpetually being on the outer and always having certain intimacy bridges I never really got to the point of crossing, the sum of my self, my abilities, my habits, my possession and just my life in general, is so far removed from ever being someone's partner that it just doesn't look very likely that I'll not be alone.

But you do grow into the fact. And solitude has many benefits.
TheTardyDodo TheTardyDodo
31-35, M
3 Responses Jun 23, 2007

Thanks for the comments, guys. It's funny, at times it seems like there ought to be a simple solution to this, some key to unlock it all... but from the inside it's usually impossible to see the lock. (Which is usually perceptual more than anything else).

I call mine the crystal ball syndrome. I always have allot of people around me but sometimes it's like I am in slow motion while everyone else is moving fast forward. I feel like I have nothing in common with most of my friends. That I am just around them for companionship. I know it's important and healthy to have people around to rely on etc. I just don't think sometimes I am who I make myself out to be. Or how people see me.

Well buddy its like i'm looking into a mirror here. I find that the closer I get to someone the more I hurt that person and in turn the more they hurt me. So I have learned to stay back where we should never really hurt one another. However its usually so far away that I never get very close... Its called the hedgehogs dilemma.