Simply Alone

I don’t know why I feel this way.

As though I will be alone forever.

It seems like there is no other way.

If you choose to be with someone, you are giving up all your freedom, all your hopes, dreams and potential.

You have to choose to take a chance that is not comparable to almost any other leap of faith in existence.

If you’re with someone, you have the risk that they will change over time into someone who is mean and uncaring. You take the chance that they might leave.

If you are alone, you can have the freedom of being who you really are, without having to worry about someone being there to tell you to change, or telling you that you aren‘t good enough. You don’t have to worry about someone hurting you….or loving you….or caring about you.

You are simply, alone.

How can you choose to be with someone?

How can you stay alone?

It seems a loss either way.

The question is, what are you willing to sacrifice?

What are you willing to gain?

stormynightsky stormynightsky
22-25, F
18 Responses Mar 5, 2009

Yeah, that is true. I think when we are focused on ourselves, we find so many fears and doubts!<br />
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It's ironic in a way, when I wrote this, things were different for me. It's interesting for me to read now, because now I know that love is not just two people looking at each other; but it's about two people looking in the same direction. <br />
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Being focused on God, rather then only myself has freed me up in so many ways. Finding someone with the same goals I have, is really a gift from Him. :)

It's amazing, how many people feel the same way -- alone, destined for lonelyness. Yet we are afraid to reach out to others.

That's true. I know, it is a loose-loose situation, but there has to be a way for it to be more positive.<BR><BR>What about a win-win situation instead maybe? :D<BR><BR>No you're not stupid for waiting. I know that being alone is much better then being with the wrong person. Being alone, at least you are free. <BR><BR>It's hard to know though, when it is right or not. I guess my problems is I tend to doubt myself, and end up losing people that way. Loosing freedom is my deepest fear.

Your analysis appeals to me because it's what I have felt most of my life. I always hesitate to enter into a relationship because I fear I will lose the freedom to meet someone else, especially if someone else is better for me. <br><br />
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For a long time, I've always been "the single friend" to many of my girl and guy friends who are in long-term relationships. Some are just dating for a few years, others are engaged, and others are already married. But when I hear about their lives I wonder if relationships are all that great...<br><br />
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At the same time, I get down when I think about how solitary my life is, and how couples get to do all those great "couple things" together. Even though I'm waiting for the right guy, I wonder if I'm stupid for not "settling."<br><br />
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It's an endless cycle (and I think it's part of that mentality: you always want what you can't have)

Sure you can see one!<br />
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See this here website? I made it meself, I did I did. <br />
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:p

Very true...spiritual things are more important because even if someone dies of a disease, if their heart is right with God, everything will be okay after that, for eternity.<br />
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That's cool that you make websites...can I see one that you made?

Cures for disease is an amazingly wonderful idea!! I've always thought that would be so neat too. Then I researched it some, and now I really believe that most diseases are caused by an imbalance somewhere in the life, and need to be addressed holistically, not as simply treating a symptom/disease. So sad how many times people focus only on the symptoms because there are no real cures available. :(<br />
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And computers are another very cool way. A new program? How neat! I make websites. Nothing life changing though, or world changing either!<br />
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For me changing the world is so much more then cures for disease though, it's about affecting people's lives for eternity. If only we could help them to see that they need God.....<br />
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People are forever, this world is not.

I'm really not sure how...I wish I knew!<br />
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I used to think medical research...finding a cure for cancer or something. So I took a bunch of biology and chemistry classes at college. Biology ones were okay. Chemistry sucked.<br />
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So now I have to declare a major in a few weeks. I really like computers, so I'm thinking about computer science or Web application development. I think I could actually enjoy and be good at it, but to me, it's so much more than that. I don't want to develop a piece of software that nobody knows about. So is there any way to change the world being a computer programmer?<br />
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I talked to the chair of the Computing and Information Systems department, and he mentioned that there are ways to use computers in the medical field with medical technology (like the guy who developed the thingy where a guy in California can operate on a patient in New York with a robotic arm and camera). I suppose that could be one way...<br />
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I also used to think about being in the music industry and making it big, but that's the hardest industry to make it big in. Most music people are dirt poor.<br />
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Also, as a Christian, I feel obligated to serve God in some way...I suppose I would be doing that if I change the world positively, helping billions of people. But how to do that, how to do that?<br />
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Do you have any ideas? Maybe we could change the world together...

One person cannot change the entire world, but they can DO ALOT! There are many 'one persons' who changed things and made a huge inpact. <br />
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In what kinds of ways were you hoping to change it? <br />
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Or is it a top secret mission of some kind. That's cool too. :)

Yes it would...unfortunately, I'm one of the only ones, and I don't think one person can change 6 billion people. Like I said, it's lose-lose.

EXACTLY!!!!!<br />
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See that is what makes me so afraid of love....I do not ever want to be tied down and/or be limited by it....it's like, once you make a serious decision, that is it!!<br />
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Changing the world? That sounds so interesting. If only everyone would aspire to that, this world indeed would be changed!

I can relate to this so much. At times, I ache for a girlfriend so much...I feel as if I'm the only adult on Earth who has never had one.<br />
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But then I think about that ranch in Texas, my career plan to change the world, my independent personality, the fact that I hate being held down and controlled...and I wonder what kind of insane idiot would want to tie themselves down and prevent me from aspiring to all those dreams?<br />
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It's really just a lose-lose situation.

I think either way you're always going to be wanting that SOMETHING more....the grass is always going to be greener on the other side!!

Thank you AwakingDreamer, that is a really sweet comment. <br />
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:)

There is someone for everybody :) Your soulmate is out there... wait for it, recognise him with your soul, that is how you two are connected.

True yes. <br />
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I felt that way anyway.:( <br />
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And I will for awhile. <br />
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I am just not whole and haven't been awhile.

It's a loss because no matter what you choose....there's the thought that you are missing something.

Hm. <br />
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I guess it depends on you feel honestly. <br />
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I tend to isolate myself as I don't like showing emotions or being around people alot. <br />
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How is it a loss though if you are given the choice?