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I Just Want To Be Alone

My parents died in a plane crash when I was 8. I divorced my first husband for cheating. My second husband and 6 month old daughter were killed in an auto accident 3 months ago.

I think it is my fate to go through life without attachment to others.



MadisonS MadisonS 26-30, F 8 Responses Nov 27, 2011

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I think that it is okay to be alone. In fact, solitude can be very good. OTOH, interaction and deep relationship with others can bring us considerable personal growth -- as well as significant shares of both pleasure and pain. I don't think that we can know our Karma, that we have to be open to what comes our way... Regardless of what your path will be over the long-term, I wish you well.
Pls take a look at my profile, and then consider adding me to your circle. Thx.

That is not your fate. You ve had a run of bad luck. It is very sad. You will find whay you are looking for. Give it time and patience

Madison I have a similiar story and I feel people fear me somehow or view me as a freak. I am beautiful educated and friendly yet have no real friends or boyfriend.

Wow.. what an imprint of death and loss you have had in your life! I believe attachment does cause suffering and we still have to honor those attachments in order to let go for we are human.

P.s.

That inspired me to post your story and mine on my blog...thank you for the insipration!

Life is a series of trials and tribulations, and What distinguishes us is our character and ability to survive them. I stopped feeling sorry for myself a long time ago...because I recognized that we all get tested to our maximum capacity...given some people are able to sustain a much more challenging road....

Therefore, what gives me the right to complain about MY life?

We Are All in this Together. This is happening to all of us.

I recognize that you are not complaining, just venting about your situation.

I leave home in the morning, when it's dark...I return home at night, in the dark...and the only soul to happily greet me is a cat I rescued eighteen months ago.

I know many people, and for the most part, they all love me (aren't there always exceptions?)...yet my days are emotionally empty...

The only person that I have found

(and due to where I live combined with my work obligations...I have met and known thousands upon thousands of people)

AND whom I know that, we are right for each other has been crazed ad confused through opposition and circumstance...and as far as I can see, she would might as well consider me dead. There isn't a person ON the planet whom would take better care of her, then I...yet, she wishes me to not exist. That is my injustice, her and I are BOTH destined to be alone...since life is destined to keeps US apart.

By some Miracle, I do wish that life were different...not only for ME, but EVERYONE!

I guess it did sound like I feel sorry for myself. Maybe I did for a little while. I am a Buddhist, we believe that attachment brings suffering. That really hit home with me. Now I feel it is was just a bump on my path through life and can only hope it helps me achieve my goal, if not is this life than in the next.

I wrote you paragraph after paragraph before deleting it all. I decided, I can offer nothing more then absorbing some of your pain in hopes that you may have less to bear.

I have been through many trials in my life from my father dying when I was 15, losing 4 children through miscarriages to my husband having an affair, but I cannot even fathom the depth of the pain that you have experienced in your short life. I honestly doubt that I could be as strong as you are to even get out of bed in the morning. So all I can say to you is there is obviously some purpose for your life that hasn't been revealed to you yet or you would not be here. I am here to listen if you ever want to talk. My heart goes out to you!