I Just Want To Be Alone

My parents died in a plane crash when I was 8. I divorced my first husband for cheating. My second husband and 6 month old daughter were killed in an auto accident 3 months ago.

I think it is my fate to go through life without attachment to others.

MadisonS MadisonS
26-30, F
7 Responses Nov 27, 2011

I think that it is okay to be alone. In fact, solitude can be very good. OTOH, interaction and deep relationship with others can bring us considerable personal growth -- as well as significant shares of both pleasure and pain. I don't think that we can know our Karma, that we have to be open to what comes our way... Regardless of what your path will be over the long-term, I wish you well.
Pls take a look at my profile, and then consider adding me to your circle. Thx.

That is not your fate. You ve had a run of bad luck. It is very sad. You will find whay you are looking for. Give it time and patience

Madison I have a similiar story and I feel people fear me somehow or view me as a freak. I am beautiful educated and friendly yet have no real friends or boyfriend.

P.s.<br />
That inspired me to post your story and mine on my blog...thank you for the insipration!

Life is a series of trials and tribulations, and What distinguishes us is our character and ability to survive them. I stopped feeling sorry for myself a long time ago...because I recognized that we all get tested to our maximum capacity...given some people are able to sustain a much more challenging road....<br />
Therefore, what gives me the right to complain about MY life?<br />
We Are All in this Together. This is happening to all of us.<br />
I recognize that you are not complaining, just venting about your situation.<br />
I leave home in the morning, when it's dark...I return home at night, in the dark...and the only soul to happily greet me is a cat I rescued eighteen months ago.<br />
I know many people, and for the most part, they all love me (aren't there always exceptions?)...yet my days are emotionally empty...<br />
The only person that I have found <br />
(and due to where I live combined with my work obligations...I have met and known thousands upon thousands of people)<br />
AND whom I know that, we are right for each other has been crazed ad confused through opposition and circumstance...and as far as I can see, she would might as well consider me dead. There isn't a person ON the planet whom would take better care of her, then I...yet, she wishes me to not exist. That is my injustice, her and I are BOTH destined to be alone...since life is destined to keeps US apart.<br />
By some Miracle, I do wish that life were different...not only for ME, but EVERYONE!

I guess it did sound like I feel sorry for myself. Maybe I did for a little while. I am a Buddhist, we believe that attachment brings suffering. That really hit home with me. Now I feel it is was just a bump on my path through life and can only hope it helps me achieve my goal, if not is this life than in the next.

I wrote you paragraph after paragraph before deleting it all. I decided, I can offer nothing more then absorbing some of your pain in hopes that you may have less to bear.

I have been through many trials in my life from my father dying when I was 15, losing 4 children through miscarriages to my husband having an affair, but I cannot even fathom the depth of the pain that you have experienced in your short life. I honestly doubt that I could be as strong as you are to even get out of bed in the morning. So all I can say to you is there is obviously some purpose for your life that hasn't been revealed to you yet or you would not be here. I am here to listen if you ever want to talk. My heart goes out to you!