For as long as I can remember I've always been the only one looking out for me and I was always ok with that because I didn't know any better. And now that i'm older I think that it was for the best, because I know that anything I would have gotten from my parents would have screwed me up more than I already am. I've never been in a close relationship with anyone before so that's why the idea of being with you scares the crap out of me. I don't want to screw this up like I've screwed up everything and everyone else in my life. So if i'm not doing this right be patient with me because I don't wan't to end up alone again, you're all I have and I know this is a bit much so i'll understand if you don't feel the same way. So I guess i'm admitting it, and I hope you understand.