Too Complex

Just found this website. Feel in need of talking to somebody, may be just getting an honest opinion. I do have friends, but I do think they're too kind to me..

So, I'm 28, divorced. Very lonely. I do have friends, loving family. Can say I've achieved something in my life in terms of where I live, work, sport, etc. Had to fight through difficult times.
That made me stronger, but I doubt that strong is the place I want to be.

We are still very good friends with my husband, he lives in another country. He has a girlfriend, but I am genuinely glad for him - he is like brother to me now. At the end of the day, we've lived together for 6 years. I left, because I didn't want to change him too much and force him to be somewhere he clearly wouldn't be happy. And I wouldn't be happy if he stayed where he was.

So, since then - lived with 1 guy, had 3 more or less serious relationship. Find myself going out with almost any guy who expresses interest in me. Maybe try to prove myself I'm still worth something, no matter that I'm that old. For most of the guys I'm too strong, too clever or too complicated. And it is harder and harder to play someone different. Because it looks like I am too complicated or too strong for many guys.

I don't know what to do..if I play a role, I will find somebody. But then, I don't what to keep playing the role for the rest of my life. That is why I think it is very likely I will end up on my own for the rest of my life..just keep trying and failing..
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3 Responses Dec 15, 2012

I am 61 and been married twice and divorced twice. Neither of my husbands could accept my strength, independence, creativity and intelligence. But I wouldn't even THINK of changing who I am. I am a beautiful vessel in the midst of the making and if there is a man out there worthy of me than I hope I will have my eyes open when I see him. It does get lonely.

I am 27 and must agree all the women I try and date hate me because I'm too complex. I refuse to change for anyone because I've been the only person I could rely on my whole life. It aggravates me to think I will die alone but like you I refuse to play a role. I hold onto a little hope that I will meet a girl that is like me and understands but individuality is my curse. Take care

Be yourself. You need to look for a man secure enough not to feel threatened, yet sensitive enough to listen. Look for men in high powered careers, who don't have anger issues. Don't ever make the mistake of accepting someone just so you won't be lonely. Don't ever give up.

thank you, I really appreciate your reply. That exactly the mistake (?) I was making. I am trying to hold on now.