This Describes Me Perfectly.

Ever since I can remember, I've been addicted to escaping. Whether it was escaping from my living situation, running away from friends, or simply escaping from reality, it's always been a problem with me.

There are so many friends that I've abandoned over the years, and usually for nothing. It's so hard to imagine contacting them again, after so long of being out of their lives.

Escaping from reality... that's something that I still do constantly, although my methods of escape have improved in time. Instead of using hard drugs, self-injury, excessive alcohol, meaningless sex, etc., to escape, now my worst vices are immersing myself in video games, and getting stoned maybe once a week.

I'm glad I've gotten better at this, but it's still hard for me to be fully in the moment and not engrossed in something that isn't real.

rachynymph rachynymph
26-30, F
4 Responses Jan 8, 2010

for the longest part of my life, I would escape by just waking away with absolutely nothing but the clothes I had on. That would generally get me in some serious trouble, so these days I try to find a good book.

Well you're not alone at all in dealing with this need to escape. I've had a similar past to you, drugs and alcohol. If you can read my story that I just posted on this group. I think it will explain a little. I bet you could still reach out to some of those old friends. It's not too late to try. Of course you may find that many of them have moved on and aren't interested in friendship, that happens, but I bet you may be surprised who you might find that would still like to be your friend. It may be difficult but it could be a good thing to try.

Quite true.

I understand, its hard to face reality, especially when its more than you can bear.