Me Too...

I am 46 years old, married for 27 years and have 3 kids...for 15 years from the time i was about 28  i was depressed..drank alot and screwup up finances until i cracked and took some pills..i went on antidepressents which i still am on.. once again..i have screwed up our finances..buying a bunch of nothing..using credit cards to the max..its the same old routine..everything is great then i slowly put myself back into the same situation..it creeps up on me until i cannot get myself out of the hole i have dug for myself. My husbands pissed..cant blame him..i cant seem to have a job longer than 6 months before i find a reason to quit,,i havent been working for the past 5 years now..what is wrong with me??? Depression runs in my side of the family..when i think i am well i fall into the hole once again....i am useless...if not for my 13 year old daughter i wouldnt think twice about trying to check out of this world ....but i dont think she could handle it without me..