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Me Too...

I am 46 years old, married for 27 years and have 3 kids...for 15 years from the time i was about 28  i was depressed..drank alot and screwup up finances until i cracked and took some pills..i went on antidepressents which i still am on.. once again..i have screwed up our finances..buying a bunch of nothing..using credit cards to the max..its the same old routine..everything is great then i slowly put myself back into the same situation..it creeps up on me until i cannot get myself out of the hole i have dug for myself. My husbands pissed..cant blame him..i cant seem to have a job longer than 6 months before i find a reason to quit,,i havent been working for the past 5 years now..what is wrong with me??? Depression runs in my side of the family..when i think i am well i fall into the hole once again....i am useless...if not for my 13 year old daughter i wouldnt think twice about trying to check out of this world ....but i dont think she could handle it without me..
copper80 copper80 46-50, F 2 Responses Jan 7, 2008

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During a manic phase I have been known to just spend money, not even caring or looking at fiances. Of course the debt accrues with "a bunch of nothing" to show for it. A lot of other things happen as well. On the low side I feel much like you. It would be so easy to check out, but I continue to fight. People care and want you in this world. I am positive it is not only your daughter. You she see you PCP or a psych doctor about this. Tell him of these experiences you are having because it very much sounds like bipolar.

(HUGS) don't give up, i know how it is Ive been there before, except the daughter part, but i've gotten through it...bearly<br />
keep going don't give up, i think i have bipolar too and i'm seeing a doc in a couple days