I really want to experiment...sexually speaking. I'm bi-curious.

But I'm scared. I'm surprised I'm not traumatized from my past experiences tbh. I feel like I'm cursed, anything sexual thats happened was when I was too young to understand [as described in my previous stories] or by disgusting old men.

Example: I got offered a job at a convenience store randomly, simply because we were from the same background. He was all good and nice, and then he started having an extremely informal interview, asking me questions like : "do you have a boyfriend" & "do you smoke, drink, party?" "where do you live?" and then later he tries reassure me by saying "oh don't worry I have a wife and kids" after shaking my hand and trying to hold it in an intimate way. Then preceding to hug me...I later told him that I couldn't work their cuz my parents don't approve and he says "Don't worry, just lie. Say your going to the library but work here secretly" ALARM SOUNDS nope! I walked out and never went in again.

I'm curious but scared. I want to experience things like love, but I feel like I need to experiment sexually as well so I don't confuse lust for love. Or pretend to love that one person just because they were my first..

I'm openminded so idc if I fall in love with whatever pronoun that person prefers...
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18-21, F
Aug 15, 2014