Sad To See It Go

 I have been with the same woman for 15 years, we have been married for 6. She was my first love. She is the only one that I have made love to. I have had more fun with her than anyone else I have ever known. Over the last few years things have happened that has changed both of us and the way we see each other.

I know that I used to look at her with such loving eyes that everyone around us would notice. It's just not there any more. I'll still look her in the eyes, but it just doesn't feel the same.

We still tell each other I love you, but it's like it's worn out. Like when someone says sorry all the time it ends up meaningless.

We still make love occasionally, but it's not nearly as passionate. She doesn't look me in the eyes. It's like she is thinking of someone else, or trying very hard not to think of me.

There are so many silly little things that she does that make me cringe. Constantly telling me "don't forget to..." and the making things some ones fault, everything has to be some ones fault. Sometimes things just break and it's no ones fault. But these ate petty little things and I'd hate my self for pointing them out.

But we've been together for so long that it seems such a waste to just throw it all away without trying. So, we keep trying. I think we've been trying to make it work for the last 2 years.

When do you say "that's enough" and how do you say it?

Heellover Heellover
36-40, M
4 Responses Feb 13, 2010

Yes we are still together, and some of the magic is back. I doubt it will ever be the same as it was, but then I doubt I will find someone better.

Hi htere just a little comment <br />
<br />
to say hope you sorted things with your wife as shame to throw away all those years.<br />
<br />
I myself has been married for 5 years, together 8yrs had ups and downs mainly due to money worries but still together as we talk about are feelings and would both rather be skint and together than not.

I have been married for ten years. I have two kids and sometimes I do not want to be in the same room with my husband. Romance is a rollercoaster. As far as sex she might not be thinking of you. No matter who you are with it will lose that initial magic but, do you want to be perpetually on the hunt for a new woman. You both have to talk and just because you feel this way now does not mean it will not change. I could almost guarantee you that if you told her that you were not sure if the relationship was working she would be desperate to make things right. My husband and I nearly went through a divorce about a year ago. We dropped the whole thing and are trying to leave the past behind us. We are a very young couple. My oldest child will be a teenager when I am 32. I am 28. The point of being married is that you have someone to share your life with. Do you really want to be single again? Try to talk to your wife and tell her how you feel. Go from there

I'd just like to point something out. These petty things add up, and yes, you're going to feel bad for pointing them out, but it sounds like they're weighing on you pretty heavily. I couldn't tell you what to do with your relationship, that's yours alone to decide, but you are right about it seeming a waste to lose what you had, and maybe could have again? There were obviously a lot of things that made you right for each other. Things change obviously, but maybe there's just a lot of things you need to get off your chests. Is she the type that could actually sit down and listen? Can you sit down and talk about this? You both know the romance is dying, but it sounds like no one's publicly admitted it yet. Maybe that's what it would take to start turning things around, IF that's what you want.<br />
If it's just over, well, saying goodbye will likely hurt both of you, because obviously no one wants to hear it and no one's keen on saying it. Gentleness and graciousness can dull it, but it's an end, and ends just get messy, there's no way to avoid it that I know of.