The Girl That Haunts Me

Just **** everything! **** life and everyone in it! I want

these angry thoughts to go away but im done

wanting,simply because I know they just wont. Every

little thing they that happens is just going to trigger

these violent thoughts and I don't need to get in trouble

for anything dumb,because that's just not me. But

recently I've lost myself. That girl that once had a grip

on her life, had self control and was happy with living,

like where the **** did she go? Where the **** is she,

when I need her the most? This violent angry person

just isn't me. This angry girl inside of me though, she

just wont ******* leave. Im afraid to be around anyone

anymore when my emotions are triggered. I don't want

to do something dumb that I will regret. I want this

demon to go away. It is not who I am. But this angry

violent soul is haunting me and affecting my life.

Turning me into an angry person I've lost myself. Im a

******* mess. And I wish I could tell everyone how

sorry I am. I give them all props for not giving up on me

by now, though some have. Maybe it would be best if

everyone just left me alone, then I couldn't hurt anyone

and they would never have to constantly worry. Im

tierd of having to look in the mirror in say "who are you?" And "what do you want from me?"
poetvann poetvann
18-21, F
8 Responses Sep 11, 2012

Thats ******* AWESOME Bro

I use to be angry all the time. I took up drumming and I've been playing for seven years now. The aggression has all gone from me, nothing much makes me angry anymore. It is a great feeling. Maybe you could try something similar?

It is my medication that is making me this way

I think it is my anti depressants that are ******* me up and making me angry

I got used to the angry me a long time ago. It didn't go away, and it screwed up a lot of things in my life, but now I'm stronger because of it. I really had few choices; embrace it and learn to deal with it, or like.. get counseling and drug myself up. I chose the hard way and to be honest I don't regret it. Try to look at it as a new beginning perhaps. You're not insane; though I know that feeling well, too. True friends will stay by your side no matter what. It may be hard to deal with but there again, you're the one dealing with the most. Take care and find what works for YOU.

What is the root of all these feelings? <br />
The first step to overcoming something is accepting is as part of you. When you look yourself deep in the eye, I mean so long that you fell you are looking into your own soul. Look deeper and deeper until you find that pit of sand that is sticking in your brain. <br />
It might not work right off the bat, but that is why I'm here to help.

But I feel insane, I need change in my life

look up sweet i aint going to turn my back :)