Just a Rant..

Just more crap this morning...

He was running late for work, and naturally he turned this into being MY fault.  He was stomping all around in a huff, mad because I was able to sleep in a bit this morning because I have a MAMMOGRAM appointment later on. (Like, I'm so lucky, I get to sleep in because I have to get my breasts checked for cancer today.). But no, there would be no staying in bed late for me - his lunch was not made, I shut the alarm off instead of hitting snooze (that is what I do every morning but evidently on THIS morning it was the WRONG thing), I didn't hear the dog bark to go out so he had to do it (cuz, that would slow you down by about twenty seconds..). All of this stuff that I did wrong caused him to (he thinks) miss his ride in to work. So he yells at me to get moving because I have to drive him in. So I get up, get dressed.. and sure enough there is his ride out front waiting for him (he was about three minutes late for his ride at this point). So he says to me, "well I can't believe she waited for me, that's nuts, I NEVER would have waited.." - which is true, he is such an ***, he would never wait three minutes for someone.

But his mission was accomplished and then some - he completely ruined my chance to sleep in and have a slower morning since I have an appointment before I go in to MY job. Oh, on the way out the door he shouts at me (sarcastically) I LOVE YOU, which of course has a twofold purpose: one, to somehow make up for being an ***, and two, to test me to see if I'm going to say it back.

The good news is, he still did have time to roll a joint, smoke a joint, and blast Peter Frampton (of all things) on the stereo (while i was trying to sleep) before even starting to get ready for work. Yeah, it's all my fault.

You know, I stick up for him all the time. He does lame-*** things, he says lame-*** things, and I stick up for him. I keep his house in order for him (naturally he does everything he can to keep it a disaster zone, then gets mad when he can't find his things) (oh this is a good one, I pick his stuff up off the floor to wash it, and then he gives me crap because maybe one of the items I picked up off the floor was actually "clean", and I should somehow know this - so it was WRONG of me to wash it).

I said it was a rant. I'm in a mood to go on and on here, but I shouldn't let him win.

....okay, guess what just happened - he just phoned to say 'sorry'. Everything is fine, it wasn't my fault, he got to work on time no problem, he's just stressed about other things....Oh, he even said he was sorry that he made me get out of bed and get dressed. This is how it goes ALL the time. He goes off on me like he did this morning, and then later (usually quite soon after) he will come back, apologize, and really actually mean it. This is why I have stayed - because he IS sorry when he's mean or unreasonable, and over the three years we've been together he has gotten better because he does work at it, and he truly hates when he loses it.

So is this unhealthy? It's better than the LAST abusive relationship I was in.....
genzero genzero
41-45, F
5 Responses Jun 19, 2007

So is this unhealthy? It's better than the LAST abusive relationship I was in..... <BR>My thought is that if you ask the question then it is. I do not at this time have this problem, but I did at one time, that story for a latter time.<BR><BR>I think you have answered your own question when you said "It's better than the LAST abusive relationship I was in....." the key word being ABUSIVE".<BR><BR>As a man I am appaled by what we "men" do in relationships and am sadened by what you women must deal with.

Sorry but yes this is very unhealthy, I am sorta going through the same thing. My husband gets very nasty when no one listens to him or things dont go his way. Me personally thing he has mental problems but let him tell it nothings wrong with him I am the sick one.We can go on vacation have a wonderful time, and when we get back he wants to argue about something. This has been going on for 25 years, and just like you he always called and apolizied, and said he would change. But he didnt change he got worse worse than he had every been in our marriage,I have mental issues but so what its still not right for anyone to tell you, look at you nobody ever is going to want a person like you,and then the apology starts. Why go I think its unhealthy,because I had a nervous breakdown, and when he came to visit me in the hospital, he kissed me on my head and had this look on his face like I just really disgust him. So now I am going to therapy to better myself and to help me realize that I can do bad all by myself. Im scared but I know that I eventually will have to go it because its unhealthy to live this way. Good luck

sorry but that is unhealthy. My ex was the same and I stayed for 9 years beleive me it doesnt get any better. And of course he would ring and say sorry later-thats when the pot has kicked in and he's stoned, he's not so uptight any more then.

Unfortunately a lot of guys are looking for a mother, rather than a mate.<br />
If this childish complaining descends to insults about your appearance, get out, because the next step in the cycle is emotional and then physical abuse.<br />
If there have been a lot of control freaks in your life, you might have co-dependancy issues, especially if the "father figure" during your childhood exhibited this type of behavior. I hope I haven't violated any boundries with this comment.

I'll be very Blunt !!! YES you are in an unhealthy Relationship !!! And what is happening is the "cycle of Abuse " in the beginning its only little things , then they lash out then they start apoligizing and it goes back in the same pattern ..I dont know much of anything about your relationship . but from the post the fact that HE IS NOT taking responsibility for his own actions ... is very unhealthy ... and because he didnt care about what you wanted is also unhealthy