Its Better to Love and Lose Than to Never Love At All...i'm Not So Sure Any More

  This man and I have been on and off for the last four years now.  After the fights, cheating, and all the animosity towards each other there are two things that I am sure of.  One would be that I truly love him and the other would be he truly loves me.  I may know these two things but there is so much about this odd relationship I don't know.  How can two people love each who are constantly hating each other?  How can I love someone whom I cannot trust nor do I believe and someone who constantly cheats?  Thru our ups and downs I've stayed with him, loving him, caring for him, and believing I will marry him.  For the last three years he's cheated and I've took him back.  I believed I was a great girlfriend, after all I couldn't look at another man sexually.  Then again we've been together for four years and I said the last three I've been good.  So understanding the reasons why people cheat I've given him chances and made it very clear that I didn't want anyone but him.  Needless to say he's cheated and talked to other women and now its over.  As of a week ago I've broke out of my shell realized I have to move on before I become to entangled with someone who will never be the man I deserve.  As good as it sounds I have to live with knowing the reason for my spontaneity was another guy.  Even though my now ex knows about my affair he doesn't know about my reason why I've broken things off with him.  Oddly he doesn't even care nor did he want to talk with me about it.  I still love this man but I'm not so sure why and why I keep on going back to him. 
morejjo363 morejjo363
18-21, F
1 Response May 8, 2007

The little that I know on the subject suggests to me that Love and Relationships are two entirely different things. And Attraction is another thing altogether. Sometimes I think that we just get the Love circuit burned into our brains. The mind gets so used to responding to a person in a certain way that we can't think of them without the great flooding waves of affection coming back to take over our senses. But in the end, I think part of growing up is realising that what matters for happiness (of both parties) is growing functional relationships, and that without them, love is frequently just a disaster in waiting. Congratulations on finding the strength to move on :) I'm sure you'll find love again soon enough. After all, we get better at it with every attempt, no?