Being Ugly Has Ruined My Life
Looking the way I do has ruined my life.
I was born with a large circle strawberry birthmark on my right cheek. People use to stare at it discusted and I was often made fun of by strangers. I was bullied throughout my school years, perhaps due to my birthmark but also because I was the smallest and most shy person in the class. One time, a boy came up to me and smacked me with a shoe on my left cheek claiming "he'd give me another mark". But it wasn't only children who bullied me, adults have treated me badly too. Teachers ignored me if I needed help, friend's parents were mean, etc.
In my teenage years people started making fun of my height. Thats when I noticed my body was the same size as everyone elses, but my legs weren't. I wasn't short, my legs were! I began obsessing over comparing my legs against people, hoping to find someone that had the same problem. But I never did...
Finally the day came when I could have my birthmark removed. I was so happy! Finally i'd have a chance of being normal. After the operation people no longer looked at me in fear. But on the streets I was still called ugly and I began to realize that it was true.
I've done everything to make myself pretty. From dyeing hair to getting professional makeovers to becoming really fit and healhy, but nothing works. My head is too big, my legs are small and I just feel so trapped in this horrible body.
I am depressed everday. 95% of the time i'm awake is spent comparing myself to other people and dreaming of how my life would be better if I was pretty. It even stopped me from doing well at school, so I was left with bad exam results. And everytime I go outside, I come home feeling really depressed.
I can't go into my dream job of film directing as I couldn't be around beautiful stars. And I can never have a family as it would destory me if my children looked like me.
I know being pretty would give me the confidence I need and then maybe people would be nicer to me. I know this is true as my best friend had the exact same personality and was bullied just like me, but she is able to now have good life because she is pretty.
The way I feel about my looks is so bad its heartbreaking..