There's Nothing Good About Me.

I'm 14. I am starting as a freshman and I am not ready. My family and friends always tell me how beautiful and intelligent I am, but I just don't know what they're talking about. I am not even close to being pretty. I have thin red hair, brown eyes, a short, pale and fat body, and an ugly face. My ex boyfriend to this day still calls me beautiful, but I just don't see it. Everyone else calls me ugly, so I know my friends and family only say I'm pretty because they want me to feel better. Everytime I wake up and look in the mirror, I cry and I'm so dissapointed with how I turned out. Everytime I try to find one good quality about me, I always look really hard then say " What's the point?". No one at home or at school will ever begin to know how much I hate myself and want to die. Not only am I ugly, but I am not talented or smart. Every sport that I've tried, I failed. I can't even look at magazines without wishing to be someone else. I am constantly comparing myself to pretty girls whenever I go out. So you will most likely find me at home where no one can see my disgusting face.
Tori170 Tori170
13-15, F
7 Responses Aug 10, 2010

You are letting the world define was beauty & success mean to you. If you surrender to God & allow Him to teach you true values, He will lighten your load. With His definition of beauty & success, you can be successful even if you are paralyzed from your neck down. There are many ppl with beautiful features that become ugly with their attitudes. I know others who do not have favorable attributes, but are valued bc of their character & positive attitudes. You admire those who are beautiful bc you think they have an advantage over you. Turn it around & think of the advantages you have over them. You are able to build closer trustworthy relationships better than they can. They are always suspicious that they are valued for reasons they know are temporary. No long term security in that.

Your still young things can still get better dont listen to everyone listen to yourslef first.

captainjackass (awesome name by the way) arent you a f*cking pot of sunshine?<br />
<br />
Hey Tori, dont be so hard on yourself. From the passage, it seems you expect to see something horrible when you look into the mirror. You're no where near ugly so be patient and think better of yourself. Why should you dive a sh*t about what other people say? They have done nothing to gain your trust the way your friends and family have. Have confidence in yourself and your inner radiance will show in your smile and even when youre walking down the street. I wis you luck in your freshman year.

ok suck it up......i can tell from ur picture u are definitely not fat and ugly. every girl ur age has to be so dramatic about everything look u are not fat and ugly just stop and stop being ur own critic

hmm i don't know if thats a problem or not..being fat is not a problem..u have a short cute hair and i like short haired girls..ur boyfriend says that u are beautiful and thats enough i think...<br />
when i was 14 i had a big nose "i had it till now ofc :D" but i don't care about it...i live in a very fcking country but i don't care about it:D...i'm not rich and i'm not poor..i don't have a girlfriend cuz its forbidden in my country :)..i live in the most dangerous area in the world that may get anywar in any time and enemy is near us ready for the war in any time but i don't care :)i live happy i pray 5 times per day and work 8 hours and go to college and drawing and i live happy...even if i have all this don't know what the "problem" word mean^^when you look at the people who died everyday cuz they haven't food and other people who died cuz they haven't water you will look at ur live with another view :) we say here " who see the harder problems of the other's .his problem become easy on him" so be happy and look how much u are higher and better than other's and be sure that no one is perfect :)<br />
no one become rich and beautiful and healthy and happy with his mirrage and his one is perfect..something damn must happen ..anyway ur face and your body is uncompleted yet and when u become 18 you will change much^^so don't worry thats teen me if u are intersted ..<br />
sorry for my crappy english!

No matter what anyone will say u ll think u are ugly..i know....they say u have to learn to love urself n thats difficult needs patience too... Tori its not 'what the mirror shows' its whats u always suprises me when i find someone who is anorexic..if u want to talk u can pm me...hugs to u always

Aw, I'm sorry you feel so bad about yourself, hon. I wish I had some words of wisdom or advice to make you feel better but I am nearly 27 and still feel the way you do. :-p So all I could offer you are cliches which you and I have probably both been told a million times and I'm sure neither one of us believe them so I would be a hypocrite to sell those to you. At least know this, you are definitely not the only one who feels this way or has had others put them down to the point where you feel this way. Sometimes it helps to know you're not alone. :-)