It Is More Than Wrong

My wife has been seeing another man. It may not be sexual this is what she says. But at the very least it is emotional But I say physical she helped him move(but was actually staying in a hotel in a different city) Internet searches show that. But the hurt, the wonder, the betrayal, the abandonment, the depression, the what did I do to cause this, all the questions and bad feelings. I can say with certainty that it is not only wrong it is one one the single hardest experiences that a spouse can go through. I am ready over the last month to forgive and forget after a good conversation about it. But make no mistake committing adultery is wrong on every level.
tekers tekers
26-30, M
8 Responses May 9, 2011

why put up with such women?

I agree 100% with invisable2unow. It's been a few days since your last post, any updates? I'm going through similar situation, I wrote about it, check it out, my heart is broken too. I didn't write to talk about myself though. I am just so appauled over this woman who you love so much! I don't understand how a person can intentionally try to hurt someone they obviously once loved. I just feel so awful, I wish there was something I could do to make all the pain go away. Noone should feel what that woman is inflicting on you. I just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Losing the one you love most in the world (outside of your kids) is the hardest, scariest, saddest time in a persons life. It's earth shattering. But, I'm hoping, just like you, that time heals all pain. Hard to believe right now but we have to believe that. I know if I lived everyday thinking that I was going to feel like this forever, I'd jump off a building.<br />
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I hope by now you're doing a little better. Look me up if you ever need anything.

Oh Tekers, I am so sorry for you! My heart hurts for you. To tell you she is pregnant; and going to abort, without even asking how you feel is just horrible. I hate women that think it's only their decision. It takes two to create life; and now she's not even giving you a say in the matter. No wonder you can't eat or sleep. I can't even imagine going through what you are. Is your daughter with you or her? I will never understand why humans purposely and vengefully hurt one another! If she wasn't happy with you, she should've have been woman enough to just leave. To tell you she needed out and not purposely create chaos and pain that can NEVER be forgotten. <br />
Hopefully she is lying about the pregnancy also??? Again, I am so sorry she is doing this to you and your daughter. It's gonna hurt for quite awhile, but the pain will dull, it will take time, and your heart will eventually heal. You need to try as hard as you can to eat and sleep because then you will be thinking clearly and you will be able to care for your daughter and give her the love and guidance she will need through this tough time in her life. Again, I am so sorry, try to have a support system around you of the people that truly love and care about you and your daughter. I will be praying for you, I'm not trying to push religion, or God, but I feel so horrible for you and the only thing I know I can do for you is to pray. Take care of yourself. If you need to talk look me up!

She came over yesterday and got her stuff. She also informed me she is pregnant said it was mine (I have my doubts but how could I not) She has always been the sweetest person I have ever known, always enough kindness she had the same amount of kindness as ten people. Then the second she told me she was leaving it all went away and she actually said her only intention was to hurt me. She said she wanted me to feel hopeless and like less than a person. She has succeeded in that for over a month now and the worst thing about it is I still love her more than anyone in the world except my daughter. I just hate how she can seemingly turn off her feeling and love and treat me like this. She said she is getting an abortion this also hurts me extremely bad. I am just about to my wits end I am having trouble eating and sleeping nearly all of my calories come from mountain dew because I ca actually keep it down. Does this ever pass or will it always be like this.

i have gone trough what you are going trough she took my kid my house and my two dogs has done nothinbut try to hurt me scheme and conive and why for what reason she was doing the dirt like yours and all they try to do is deflect their wrong doing on you too make themselves feel better and look for excuses. i hope you can work it out you might be able to forgive but you can never forget

My husband is also doing everything he can to intentionally hurt me. I had been trying to recover and move on. He does not seem to think what he is doing is wrong.

I said what did I do because I have always tried really hard to be there emotionally always asking how she felt and what her issues were in general. And now she is intentionally doing things to hurt my feeling and says she is doing this to hurt me. and I just don't understand because I have been trying so hard for so long to make her happy.

Hi Tekers, I just finished reading your story. The sentence that caught my eye the most was: "the what did I do to cause this,". I don't believe that the partner is the cause of the infidelity. It seems to me that it always comes down to a communication breakdown. The one who cheats is usually lacking something that they have not conveyed to their partner. It takes two to ruin a marriage. It's never one sided. <br />
I'm curious, in the end, you say that you're willing to "forgive and forget". Did she stop the relationship? Has she said she was wrong and not going to do it again? Does she understand how detrimental it is to the marriage?<br />
I think an emotional affair can cause more damage to a marriage then a physical affair. That means she was getting her emotional needs met by another man instead of her husband.<br />
I agree with you, it is more than wrong.<br />
I hope you two can rebuild your relationship starting with communication. If you need to chat, look me up.<br />
I am sorry that your heart is going through this. Remember you did nothing wrong enough to deserve infidelity in the marriage.